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Advice on my SAT Essay! Please

Guille19Guille19 Posts: 357Registered User Member
Good evening CC.

I think this will be the last time I'll be bothering you since I have the SAT this saturday, hehe.

I would really appreciate any advice on what to do.

I decided I would use 2 examples since I think I could try to develop them better, and because I'm a slow writer.

And one last question: Do you think this essay can get me a score of 6/12 or a little more?
Thanks.

-Essay Prompt:

"Many people believe that “closed doors make us creative.” These people argue that obstacles and restrictions are necessary, for without them we would never be forced to come up with new solutions. But “closed doors,” either in the form of specific obstacles or a lack of opportunities, often prevent people from reaching their full creative potential."

-Do closed doors make us creative? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.


"Creativity is the ability that humans develop to find a way to deal with quotidian situations, specially the ones involving obstacles.
Therefore, "closed doors" do make us more creative since we keep bombarding the problem until we find a way to circumvent it. This can be seen in examples from history.

In the first place, creativity is always nascent in the field of science and experimentation.
Here, scientists find close doors everyday, since they do not find an answer immediately.
Let's take the example of Gregor Mendel. He was a monk who discovered and defined the terms of genetics. To do this, he experimented with pea plants, since he was interested in the characteristis of offsprings.
However, the first time, he found a "closed door". He did not even know how to start. This situation made him think of ways of proving genetic characteristics, thus working on creativity.
He then came up with the idea of using peas, and eventually began to found ways to explain the problem.
At the same time, his creativity was becoming more adept since he also introduced the process of "cross breeding", thanks to that closed door.
This case explains very well that closed doors help to improve creativity, since it lures us to try to find a way to open them.

Tantamount to this is the case of war tactics.
Armys find closed doors many times since they need to find a way of how win the war, and the same process of experimentation is held here.
Let's look at the World War II, and the fight of USA and Japan.
USA was at disadvantage at first, since Japan made a ruse against them in Pearl Harbor.
Therefore, the USA was in front of a closed door since they needed a way to take take the lead in war.
This situation led to creative tactics that rapidly made the USA be at the same level with Japan. This is the case were the USA got to decipher Japan's radio signals, which included tactics and strategies.
The creative and agile mind of the American army in this "closed door" helped them win many battles, eventually defeating Japan.

These two examples give us the perfect sketch that "closed doors" help to improve creativity in the way that they challange us to find a way to open them, and a natural characteristic of every human being is the excitement of circumvent any obstacle, leading to myriad brainstorms of creative ways to open them."


Cons:

1. Diction. I give up to this since English isn't my first language, and everytime I reread after the 25 minutes I find out that I suck at this.

2. Examples. Did I use good examples? Did I develop them well?


I hope some people can help me here, please!!!

Good night
Post edited by Guille19 on

Replies to: Advice on my SAT Essay! Please

  • sadman51sadman51 Posts: 58Registered User Junior Member
    LOl honey are you trying to be modest?
    U will definitely be getting more than 6!! :p probably an 11 or even a 12.
    just a good piece of advice. Please avoid extremes. The 'perfect' can be replaced by 'excellent' and still add weight to you essay.
    You are awesome!! :D
    hope that helped
  • Guille19Guille19 Posts: 357Registered User Member
    Hey sadman51!

    Thank you for your opinion. Seriously, do you think that?

    I wasn't being modest hehe. It's just that many people have told me that I suck at the SAT essay, so getting a 6/12 was like a miracle to me hahaha

    But you really think that? Is there any more I could improve?

    And thanks for the advice! I'll avoid extreme words!

    Thanks for replying
  • Guille19Guille19 Posts: 357Registered User Member
    Anyone? Please I'll appreciate any advice. I want more than 1 opinion :(
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