This is my first time on CollegeConfidential. I just wrote an essay from the Master the SAT 2011 book by Petersons. I was wondering if any of you guys would like to grade the essay for me. Please critique it as much as you want (you can be harsh if you want
), and tell me what you would give me if you were an SAT essay grader. I did this in 25 minutes, and I think I didn't a conclusion. I also didn't have time for proof-reading (the last paragraph gets a little messy). Well, here goes.... PROMPT:
"It seems as though more and more people are interested only in results, not in how the results are achieved. If the results are what they want, people don't care who is hurt or what is done to get them. These people seem to believe that the end justifies the means." -Author Unknown Assignment:
What is your opinion of the idea that the end justifies the means? Plan and write an essay that develops your idea logically. Support your opinion with specific evidence taken from your personal experience, your observation of others, or your reading. ESSAY:
Is it true that wrong actions are justified by good intentions? A well-meaning end does not cancel out the effect of immoral actions. One example is the use of stem cells which were harvested from frozen fetuses for research. The United States imperialists in the late 1800s had good intentions of bringing democracy and industrialization to 'uncivilized' island countries like Hawaii and the Philippines, but the means through which they did so affected the natives of those places more negatively than positively. Also, so-called 'super-moms' want success for their kids, but push them too hard to do well in school and extracurriculars.
Stem cells, taken from frozen fetuses for research, are one example of ends not justifying the means. Stem cell research has the potential to help scientists solve many diseases such as Alzheimer's and help patients regrow lost tissues. However, in order for research to be done with stem cells, they must be harvested from a frozen fetus, which violated the sacredness of life. Stem cell research may have the good end of helping people with certain diseases and issues, but the way that it uses the fetus does not justify its use.
Just like in science, history has many examples of people using good ends to justify wrong actions. In the late 1890s, many in the United States underwent a wave of imperialism, and began taking over Pacific and Atlantic islands such as Hawaii, Guam, and the Philippines. American imperialist preached the goal of reforming the uncivilized, 'savage' inhabitants and sharing democracy and industrialization with them. However, the means to reach this goal were stripping the natives of their sovereignty and creating a dependence on American goods. Even though the end of bringing order and modernity to unindustrialized islands was good, the means through which they did it had a mroe negative effect than positive.
As in history, there are examples of this in our world today.An article in the Times magazine talked about 'super-moms' and their drive for their kids success. These moms push their kids to get straight-As in school and participate in many extracurriculars, so as to increase their chances of success. However, many of these kids just end of with psychological damage and have problems later in life. Moms want of their kids success does not justify pushing them so hard. So, what do you think?