Would you like to grade my essay?
I'm pretty bad at essays apparently (8/12) so here's my second try at an essay. I type a lot faster than I can write and I did this one entirely in a word processor so it's probably unrealistic of what I could do in 25 minutes... But tell me what you think. I'm used to formal essays so it's been difficult adapting to the 25 minute essay. Thanks ahead of time!
PROMPT: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?
In this age of technology, it is difficult to prevent information from being passed on, especially as fast, effective forms of communication such as the Internet enjoy widespread usage. However, a computer-savvy user knows that the key to being safe online is not the impossible task of preventing access to critical data, but rather to obfuscate the process of accessing this data such that the time it would take to obtain these desirable secrets is not worth the value of the treasure itself. Indeed, as the saying goes, “Knowledge is power.” In this case, knowing how to defend oneself from the possible dangers of technology will grant the power to remain unhampered by malicious users. Therefore it is important to restrain one’s private details from being shared on the Internet. Even small efforts to use slightly longer passwords or unfathomable usernames will ensure that one’s interests—such as money and family—remain safe.
Unfortunately though, families have recently come under attack from online communities. Children and adolescents, especially, are being discovered in online videos doing unusual and occasionally offensive activities, paving the way for vicious verbal assaults in chatrooms or online forums. One recent example can be seen in the case of the teenager nicknamed Jessi Slaughter, in which her tendency to dress scantily and use obscene language. Her information was left on her online accounts, and were found by various annoyed parties. They sent her death threats amongst other dangerous words, and to that end it was discovered that her family suffered great damage in both internal and external relations. All this could have been prevented by simply sharing less of her private information on the Internet.
In conclusion, though countries, notably the United States with its Patriot Act, often advocate some sacrifice of privacy in order to provide better security, the common citizen should still be wary of the private details he or she shares with others. The danger of not keeping this information secret is that there may be malicious uses for that data. Consequently, every person should make an effort to keep some things private and away from the Internet, and this applies especially to children. To the people who have purchased Internet services: “Buyer beware!”
Last edited by personjerry; 10-01-2012 at 10:39 PM.