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Old 10-20-2012, 03:51 AM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3
Grade my SAt essay please

Again, forgive my grammar because I'm an international student.

Should society limit people's exposure to some kinds of information or forms of expression?

In my opinion, society should limit people exposure to some kinds of information or forms of expression. Sometimes an unlimited exposure to some kinds of information can cause children and teenagers to adopt an inappropriate behavior and lead to many social problems.
During existence of Soviet Union, citizens of present Russian federation lived in the country where the access to the various types information was strictly limited. The extreme censorship, which lasted almost seventy years, became one of the reasons why after the fall of USSR the freedom of self-expression became an explosive “fashion trend” among citizens of “new” country. Unfortunately unlimited exposure to all kind of information, including inappropriate one, somehow had a baneful effect on young generation. While growing up among children of nineties like myself, I often noticed that many of them often had inappropriate thoughts. They TV shows where actors exposed their nude bodies, where characters adopted hectic and irresponsible lifestyle and women were dressed up in an extremely vulgar way, drugs and alcohol was acclaimed as something glamorous and fashionable. TV shows like “Sex and the city” showed that changing sexual partners frequently was absolutely normal. Swearing words become less and less censored in popular TV shows. Therefore, many Russian children tend to grow up quite early and teenagers drinking and smoking behind their school after classes somehow became an everyday scene in big cities. It’s hard now to find infants who don’t use swearing words in their everyday conversations.
Unfortunately, It’s fact that the level of teen pregnancy, drug addiction, and alcoholism among teenagers has dramatically increased in the last twenty years, despite the ardent growth of country’s economy. The other week, one of the Russian News channels showed a report about an 11-year-old girl who got drunk outside her apartment to the point when she fell into an alcoholic coma. Moreover, the high percentage of STD carriers is teenagers, who got infected because of an irresponsible sexual lifestyle. The department of education blames TV and Media for these and many other social problems.
Even though without gathering of information, we are left in the dark. But from the examples above we can agree that sometimes censorship is actually beneficial to a society because it restricts information that is inappropriate or potentially harmful.
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Old 10-20-2012, 01:25 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 59
I really like your essay.
Your thesis statement is really explicit, the supporting examples convincingly illustrate your viewpoint.
It truely deserves 11-12.

PS: Are you Russian?
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Old 10-20-2012, 06:52 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 259
12!

I always get 12 on my essays. They like it when you use "knowledgable" evidences/examples. Like from history or things you learned at school.
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Old 10-20-2012, 07:20 PM   #4
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Location: New York, USA
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Definitely an 11-12!

Great essay!
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Old 10-21-2012, 03:39 AM   #5
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wow, thank you so much guys, I hoped to get like 8 hehe thaaanks
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