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Please grade my essays

shadowboishadowboi Posts: 43Registered User Junior Member
edited November 2009 in SAT Preparation
from sat online course..i dont think the essay scorer on the sat online course is accurate


Does the success of a community—whether it is a class, a team, a family, a nation, or any other group—depend upon people’s willingness to limit their personal interests? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Throughout the dawn of time to our current modern era, humans have progressed a long ways in terms of society. Some of us are the selfish kind where we think about ourselves and don't see the greater benefits to life in in the long run. But there are others of us who are the to sacrifice for the well being of others around us. One's willingness to limit their personal interests does benefit the community because our modern day era, history, all literature all support this idea.
IN our modern era there are many instances of sacrifice that are for the betterment of our nation. The armed forces demonstrate the idea that sacrifice is the only way to keep our nation safe from terrorism. Our soldiers know that the face death can be is always eying down in them. Knowing risks of combat, our soldiers sacrifice their their personal interests of being with their loved ones, to fight for our nation where the land of the free exists. They are considered our heroes in the eyes of many because they risk their lives and limit their interests as individuals so we Americans can be in peace. These soldiers have shown us that sacrifice is key to making our community a much better place to live in.
Throughout history there are many prominent figures that would devote their lives for greater humanitarian cause. Mahatma Gandhi was man of sacrifice in his journey to gain independence from India. Gandhi had limited his own interests of being an lawyer to helping his nation in the time of crisis. He thought his followers and many local communities that nonviolence and protest was the key to achieving independence. As a result, Gandhi had to spend over 7 years in jail because of his stubborn commitment to never give up in the struggle for independence. His jail time, had caused his local community to become stronger as individuals and push for freedom. The benefits of the Gandhi's protest started to reek in, when eventually India had gained their independence from the British. History has shown that that the great individuals in history are the ones are known for their sacrifice for the benefit of their people.
After a careful analysis of our courageous American soldiers and prominent figure Mahatma Gandhi, one can see that sacrifice for the community is , indeed, the key to its success in the long run. Without sacrifices of others, our society would be in total chaos. We as individuals have to understand that our communities have up and downs throughout the year, As individuals its up to us to make sacrifices so we can ensure that our community is the best place for us grow as human beings.

SECOND PROMPT


Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.


Throughout the dawn of time to our current modern era, humans have progresses a long way in terms of society. The human intellect to take the beaten path has allowed us as individuals to accomplish more than staying to the formula of life.One accomplishes more in life when they are allowed todo things in their own way because our modern day era, history, and literature all support this idea.

There are many top figures in our society because they decided at a young age to e different and not like their counterparts like everyone expected them to. An example of this idea would be Bill Gates. Many people knew Bill was a smart lad because of his vast knowledge of computers. When Bill started to attend Harvard, it came to a surprise to many people that he would drop out just one year later. Many expected him to complete a degree at harvard and then get a top computer job. But as luck would have it, Bill decided to instead work with a friend in his garage. The end result becoming an multibillion dollar company known as Microsoft. The point is that we don't need to have everyone tell us what to do in life. It's up to us to live our life and to live it in a unique way as possible.
In many pieces of literature there are many examples of the character achieving more when they stray off the beaten path. The famous character of Romeo in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is an prime example of this. Romeo's family has a grueling enmity with Juliets family. Thus he isn't allowed to see Juliet, creating a more deep feelings among them. Romeo's in his stubborn will to see Juliet, follows his heart and takes matters into his own hands. As a result Romeo is united with his love Juliet. When people decide to live their life not favored by society, it creates a sense of greatness for all to witness.
Throughout history there are many figures that are known today because of their adamant ways not to abide by society's rules. An famous man named Martin Luther King portrayed an image of hope to many african americans at the time. He displayed that that social gain by african americans are not possible when abiding by society's restrictions on them. Martin Luther King's courage and hope allowed him to break through the color barrier of white and black. His achievements show that anything is possible when people stray off the beaten path and show an distinct uniqueness to succeed.
As a society we have witnessed the many gains made by us when we decide to be ourselves. We show a ray of determination to succeed when we are being put down by others. This determination allows us to stray off the beaten path and do things our own way.
Post edited by shadowboi on

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