fencersmother

I wondered if any of your SA bound or SA cadets/middies experienced hostility from teachers, GCs, other students, even family members? S was refused a letter of rec when teacher (Psychology teacher at local U; his grade is 108% so it's not like S is doing poor work) found out he was interested in USAFA or USNA. Also, another teacher expressed something akin to shock when S told her his plans & hopes. She then told him how "you'll just end up in Iraq."

Have any of you parents experienced criticism for permitting or condoning your child's choice of SA? I've had some people sneer at me when I announced my S's desire, though no one has actually said anything to me.

shogun

Nope. Not once.

NorthernCalMother

Yes. Several times. At first I was loaded with righteous indignation. Now that my son's @ USNA, I'm more of the mindset that (a) Reactions have nothing to do w/ me, or my son, (b) Nothing I say will change anyone's mind, or manners, and (c) We live in a country where kids fight for the right of morons to be morons, and also for strangers to pump my kid's hand, thank him for his service, and pay for his meals when he's in uniform. I hope you get to this place faster than I did.

NorthernCalMother

PS- My son seems to have been there from Day #1.

raimius

I never really experienced hostility, just a little angst from my grandmother...and a lot of dumb looks.

Me: "I just got accepted to the Air Force Academy!"
Teammate: "Awesome! Which one?"...

momof1

From my son's favorite teacher:

"That's too bad. Military people are so...rigid...in their thinking."

Which is hysterical, I think, since it shows, oh, I don't know, a certain inflexibility in thought!

From his AFROTC instructor:

"Just because they offer doesn't mean you have to take it! " He wanted our son to go USAFA!

My husband and I get a lot of support though, since we both teach on an Air Force Base.

MOM2LOLA2011

Still amazes me that there are people that have never even heard of USNA or USMA or USAFA, etc... where do these people live? Under a rock?

And my daughter did not come up against hostility from teachers ... she found it in many of her fellow students and their parents at High School when they heard her plans to go to USNA. But all is well now... she is at USNA and they are tucked away in their liberal Universities.

Profmom2

A few teachers but not that harsh. More of "if someone is going to be there, we are glad it is you." Granted he is definitely on the liberal side and went to a vert liberal High School. Last USNA applicant from his High School graduated USNA '91. He actually got more from students and even from a cousin "why are you joining the Navy and not going to College?"

GreatAmerican

^^^^^
My daughter has experienced no hostility. However, I must mention that we live next to MCB Quantico in a community filled with marines and FBI agents. Everybody is supportive around here, especially in the schools since most of the teachers are military spouses.

Christcorp

It definitely depends on where you live and where your kid goes to school. In a large portion of Non-Urban areas, where most of the country is, most people have a higher respect for the military and the men and women who serve. The media however concentrates on the more populated areas, the large universities, etc... where there's a lot more vocal protest. Therefore, if the media says something, many people believe that is the opinion of the nation at large.

I also find it amuzing how many of the liberal democrats harp that the military is made up mostly of poor Americans and minorities. Forget the fact that probably 95% of all academy cadets had the grades and ability to get accepted, with scholarships, to guite a few colleges and universities throughout the country. Forget the fact that even the majority of the enlisted folks could have easily made it into many colleges; and that many do get their college education once in the military. And forget the fact that the majority of military personnel do come from middle income American families.

No, if you stay away from places like Columbia University or the political hotspots in the urban areas, the majority of most Americans is quite positive towards the military. As far as teachers and universities go with not being positive; I think that is a 2-fold condition. 1) They have a tendancy of believing that they are "Educated" and therefore more enlightened than most people. As such, then tend to live in more of a make believe world. What they teach and believe aren't always how the real world operates. 2) As teachers, many times they see a lot of potential in an individual. Remember, as I said before, if you are good enough to get into the Air Force academy, or even be considered (10,000 apply and only 1300-1700 are accepted), then chances are you are one of the school's better students. As such, teachers tend to believe that you have a lot more potential and should be going to an Ivy league school or such.

My response to some who make condescending comments about my son applying to the Air Force Academy is direct. I don't mention patiot reasons; they won't understand that. I don't mention serving their country, being part of the ultimate team, being part of something bigger than themselves, etc... Again, they won't understand that. I usually throw the financial side at them. I tell them; "If you can get my son a full ride scholarship to harvard, yale, columbia, cornell, Penn, USC, Standford, etc... then I promise you that he would definitely consider it. They usually can't respond to that. The fact is; many of our kids who apply to the academy have in fact been accepted, and in many cases with scholarships, to some of these very schools. Many people can't comprehend however that being in the military is similar to being a Doctor, Policeman, Fireman, Religious Leader, etc... It is an extremely important and necessary profession, but definitely not for everyone.

Profmom2

My explanation is more on the line of what he will get out it. "He wants to fly fast jets. If his eyes get him he can skipper a big boat" He likes adventures.

Leaves the politics and the money out of it. Coming from a private high school that sends a lot to very expensive schools with most not getting much in the way of aide, I have found the money argument to cause even more problems. Many are resentful to the SA's "free ride" appearance.

Even had that argument with a sister who is paying $$$ for niece same age as my youngster. Did point out the education is not free - more like a loan on his life and between the Enrollment fee of $2500, ACE Loan at $6500 and the myriad of spending money, air fare's home, back, summer training, change of airfare when summer training gets cut short, diving youngster year all that now dorm stuff to Annapolis...it was not a very "free" year.

Keep a spread sheet that everything You spend and the Mid spends (easy to share on google spreadsheets) You will be very surprised at the year end total!

Christcorp

My argument with the money, wasn't necessarily of college in general. Usually the people here were saying things like; "Your son is a 4.0gpa, IB student, Rank #1, etc... he should be at Harvard, Yale, Cornell, etc... I say; "Fine, get him a full ride to one of those schools and we can talk about it." In our state, just about any kid can go to the state University for almost nothing. If you have halfway decent grades, it's even cheaper.

Most teachers and average everyday people don't question a student considering the military. This is a very PRO-Military state/town. Mostly conservative republicans with no inner-city urban issues. Very gung-ho military. It's just the ocassional person who's referring to an exceptional student when they mention possibly going to the academy. They mention that they could get into the ivy's and such. Sometimes mentioning flying a plane and all the military stuff suffices. Sometimes however they just don't understand. As I mentioned earlier. In that case I put the ball back into their court. Get my son a full ride to harvard and we'll discuss it with you. That usually ends all future comments.

tmr

not here in Texas. my S probably needed 13 letters between nomination and academy applications. Everyone was very supportive. I am sure he came across peers and adults that looked at him sideways - he never brought it up. Tell your S to just move on, keep focused and reach for his dream.

usna09mom

As always, we need to be careful about stereotyping people and making sweeping generalizations. Politically I see myself as a progressive/ liberal/conservative democrat proud to be living in a blue state. Guess what-I encourage my students to consider the military! I have a 'Navy Hall of Fame' bulletin board in my classroom covered with posters of USNA sports, the Blue Angels, aircraft carriers, etc. Every year I invite the high school ROTC units to come and perform at our school and come to my classroom for a Q&A. During lunch I've shown the PBS Marines DVD and Blue Angels DVDs to interested students. The kids are so excited! Sometimes they come back from high school to tell me with pride that they've joined Navy or Army JROTC. These kids are receiving important training, setting goals, and will most likely get their high school diplomas, which is quite an accomplishment in light of the dismal 40 percent high school graduation rate in large urban school districts across our nation.

On the issue of hostility toward those taking the path less traveled, the USAFA itself has a documented record of harassment, proselytizing, shunning, and exclusion of cadets who had the misfortune of being female, non-Christian, or political moderates/liberals. As a result, the USAFA is probably now the paradigm of tolerance and inclusion. Though my father is a retired AF colonel and my mid loves to snowboard, she didn't even consider Colorado Springs when applying to colleges for this and other reasons. However as a plebe, my mid even got a taste of that hostile bullying behavior at USNA. During a history or political science class discussion she had expressed an opinion that was in stark contrast to the conservative manifesto on some issue. One of her classmates confronted her after class and said, "If you feel that way why are you even here?" I don't know exactly what she said to him, but he never bothered her again. I told her to report him if he kept it up. I'm proud to say that she is very excited about being part of the Naval Academy and her experiences there have only strengthened her beliefs as a progressive democrat!

USNA Dad&Grad

My mother wouldn't give me the entrance fee to go to West Point. It was $500 back in 1980.

"Mom, why won't you give me the money for West Point, but you'll give it to me for Navy?"

"You might get killed in the Army."

LOL

Reactions from my teachers (and this was 1980) was mixed. Viet Nam was still pretty fresh in people's minds. Some were disappointed that I wasn't going to Harvard, or told me that I was wasting my talents at a place that would crush independent thought.

I loved USNA - not at first, mind you. But the friends I made and the opportunities I had during and after have been incredible.

I never felt at home in my home town after I left, and the first Christmas leave was weird; all my friends were talking about parties, and they had no comprehension of chow calls, Plebe rates, "chopping", decorating bulletin boards, standing watch, and taking 19 and 20 credits as well. I had absolutley nothing to say to them, and they couldn't understand why I would willingly do what I was doing. In their eyes it was not worth it. I think that's a relatively common experience for a lot of academy types.

Fast forward 27 years, and I kind of look at my "townie" friends with a bit of pity that they never got to see and experience the things that I have. I wish I could do it all over again.