Fencer,
Please take this with love, when I say no book that you will read will ever give you the insight you look for. Your son will be the one and his trials and tribulations will be singular to him.
I met Bullet when he was in ROTC, I read the AF wives handbook when we became engaged (laughed my butt off about when I should wear white gloves), but it was through him that I learned what the difference from a Dining In and a Dining Out was...he was the one that whispered in my ear that we don't sit until the dais was seated and we don't eat until they have started. He also was kind enough to tell me when to duck before the bread rolls started to fly
It was all about him, and no book or story could help me when he had a bad day, only my love for him could.
I know as a Mom, you want to be the most supportive person that he could ever have, but in reality he knows that, and also sometimes not knowing everything makes it easier for them. We as parents will state
well this book said do this...did you try that?, and all they are looking for is, it will be okay, just remember no matter what ...I could have never asked for a child that I am more proud to be called their Mother.
Bullet and I will tell you that after he graduates is when you will go through a rollercoaster ride that makes the appt. process looked like a kiddie ride, and there will be no books in the world to help you.
Imagine getting a call on Weds. to tell you that he will be deployed on Sat. for only G*D knows how long! Imagine hearing on the news that the Aircraft he flies went down and crashed...just so you know the squadron goes into lock down, no phone calls in or out until verification of which crew is missing! Imagine your 1st grandchild being born overseas and you can't there for months, but most importantly imagine that for 5 yrs. there will be holidays, birthdays and anniversaries that they will miss. For the next 4 yrs he will be home for xmas, but I will tell you that out of our 20 yrs we have missed 10. I will also tell you that Bullet has missed 1st communions, my bday, kids bdays, anniversaries, etc. No book will ever be able to explain this life and what it is really like.
I will be like you and worry about our DS, but one thing I won't do is look for info, sometimes ignorance is bliss. Instead I will just
listen and let him vent and in the end I will say what do you want to do? Do you want to quit? Do you want to change your designation? Do you feel better now that it is all off your chest? In a very few weeks he will be starting to live his life, his dreams, his goals, I am now going from the driver (making sure he got there) to the passenger to see where he is going!
BTW Bullet will tell you I have never looked into the cockpit of the strike (long ago during spouse appreciation week, wives were allowed taxi rides in the jet, it use to upset him that I never signed up for one.) I never have looked in the cockpit, because I didn't need to have that fear.
I knew that come h*ll or high water he was going to do everything to get home to me and our kids! That is the point all you need to do is hug him, kiss him goodbye and listen.
All of my utmost regards to your family for allowing your precious one to live this dream...people forget the folks who helped secure the dream!
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