Anonagron

My high school graduation was to Pomp and Circumstance, always played by the remainder of the high school band who were still "undergraduates". When I was little, I used to practice heel-toeing our school's very formal graduation processional as I watched my older siblings go through those motions. Later, I played it through so many times in that band that my senior year didn't affect me much at all when I was heel-toeing for real to P & C. Not sure I ever thought about the fact my parents might have been crying - I was the last of seven children, after all!

HOWEVER... College graduation processional was to Pachelbel's Canon in D... still makes me cry, even though I graduated in a state university class of probably about 5000 - we stood up and moved our tassels as a college, then sat down and on to the next college. No heel-toeing processional or recessional or Pomp and Circumstance, but that music gave me a lump in my throat and still does to this day.

SO, one month from tonight I will tell you how P & C affects me while watching the graduate march triumphantly in under the JROTC Saber Arch to this gut-wrenching sadistic music!! Or maybe I will be too busy thinking about saying goodbye on R-Day and worrying about the potential animal noises that may escape . But this I do know, my son is ready to take on the world. I just hope I don't embarass him too much in the process!

txtwinmom

Well, we just got back for AFA yesterday. D was there for orientation. Colorado Springs is beautiful, the AFA campus is awe inspiring and right now I HATE IT!!
However, my DD is totally psyched and ready to leave right now! As much as I am excited for my DD I really dislike the thought of her going away. Of course, I would most likely feel this way even if she were going to a local univ. because I feel that way about her sister leaving as well.
The 1000 mile distance will just make the time together that much sweeter.
BTW, I got a chance to meet some other parents during Orientation and that helped a lot. Not many folks around here understand what we are going through.
I'm really needing that "Cyber-rita" about now.

fencersmother

Well, I am amending my statement. I *love* USAFA - beautiful, everything top-drawer (except the swearing, but I guess boys will be boys). Anyway, I think I should definitely convince my twins that one of them must stay home. Tonight while walking the dogs, I reminded my one son: "Some families (including ours) have the motto: God, Country, Family. Well, I am changing that to: Mother First." Neither he nor his bro is buying this.

I miss them already!

mom3boys

Our school has a tradition: at the senior breakfast, they are given a packet of letters, wishing them well on future endeavors, etc...I just wrote my DS's letter...took over 2 hours...and I am not sure I'm out of tears yet! This is so very hard...but not nearly as hard as four years from now when they ship off to be war fighters and defend our country. I feel like a wreck now; I cannot imagine how I will handle the other. I am pretty confident I will be driven to drink!!

USNA69

Parents, this is much ado about nothing. If you play your cards right, you will become tired of them. First off, they are doing something ‘cool’. They want to tell you about it. The worst thing you can say is, “I have no idea what you are talking about. You’re wasting your breath”. The second worst thing you can do is to tell them how to do it. Both Parent’s Clubs and Google are wonderful things. They WILL call to tell you what new things they are doing. Be interested.

They will have problems and concerns. Again, they need someone to talk to. You, as an outside parent, don’t have a clue what they are going through. Yet, they call. Why? Just to verbalize to an understanding outsider what is going on. Maybe to vent. The worst thing you can do is give advice. They will get that from their friends. Just listen. If you want to feel productive, whatever the problem, try to ascertain that they are seeing both sides of the issue completely.

And if you really play your cards right, you will develop a ‘best’ friend. Someone who, every time you slip and offer advice, will tell you how screwed up you are. But someone who will not make a decision without talking to you first. I was in your shoes 15 yrs ago, feeling totally lost and helpless. These past 15 yrs, however, have been the best of my life. I have enjoyed every minute of them. Your continued relationship with them is what YOU allow it to be.

mom3boys

USNA69, thank you for the reality check...it's a very emotional time, and it's good to hear a voice of reason occassionally.

Ann

"And if you really play your cards right, you will develop a ‘best’ friend. Someone who, every time you slip and offer advice, will tell you how screwed up you are. But someone who will not make a decision without talking to you first."

So true.....

JustAMomOf4

A little more unsolicited advice -

HS Graduation - If pomp & circumstance is going to choke you up then desensitize yourself to it. Start playing it around the house for 2-3 days before graduation. Then you will be smiling and not bawling. My youngest graduated it in June and I started humming it today.

Graduation, Senior awards and all the Parties: Be proud of your kids, but be humble. They haven't done anything yet. If they have a classmate(s) who is enlisting, make a point to seek them and their parents out. Don't brag about your kid- they probably already know, instead thank them for their and their child's service. These kids will be in the fire a lot sooner than yours.
If you school acknowledges your child then ask if those who are enlisting in the military can be acknowledged. OR - have your child ask.

Don't forget about the other parent and siblings - Christcorps is right - Dad's have a hard time with their kids leaving. If you are divorced - make a point to include the other parent. Set your differences aside and just be parents to your kids.
Siblings - younger ones have a hard time. When my oldest left, my youngest was 10 and she cried and cried. If they go to I-Day/R-Day they may cry like babies.

Everyone knows the family structure is changing and it will change. A new pecking order will be established, the younger one's may think they will never see their sib again.

Sometimes - being a mom means being strong. But as women we already know that.

USNA69 - very true - you are moving into a new dimension in your relationship with your child. He/she will always be your child and you feel that now but soon will be a great friend - for me - this is one of the greatest rewards of parenthood. Embrace it.

nurseypoo

I find, now, my son is much more open about things he does (see "pranks") and honestly how he is holding up and how his grades are. He still needs to come home, and right before he does, asks "Do I still have a room?" The answer is always, "Of course!" I haven't packed him up and out, yet.

I know the hub misses him, since when he calls, hub gets really excited and stays on the phone with him for a long time.

Christcorp

Well; Prom was last night. Pretty much the LAST milestone in my son's life before starting his own adult life. 3 weeks until finals. 5 weeks until graduation. 60 days until we drive him to the academy to "Meet the Beast".

Fortunately for us; between family weekend and 6 home football games; we should be able to gradually "wean" ourselves from having kids at home. We only live 2 hours away. Our daughter will be home for the summer from college, so having her around will help while our son is at BCT. By the time he gets out of BCT and is ready for the academy and parent's weekend, the daughter will be heading back to start her Senior Year of College. I think this spacing the kids out by 3 years really helped.

Anyway; after football season we'll probably get to see him for Christmas and then Spring Break and eventually 3 weeks in the summer. But; so everyone knows; each year they will become more and more independent and want to spend their free time doing other things other than coming home. I know that because I went through it. But it is hard to deal with.

Wife doesn't want any more kids; and she won't let me adopt any 24 year old female Swedish exchange graduate students. (I already asked). So I guess we will have to learn to cope with the empty nest syndrome. I'm sure we will survive. Millions have done it before us. (Even though I think the "Swedish" idea would make it easier. LOL)

ds52262

TxTwinsMom - Sara was very impressed with your daughter. She marvelled at how she and Ashley seemed to both get their polar opposite. Apperently Your daughter was the quieter of the two (her and missmuff).

Fencersmom - I know she was equally impressed by your Sons.

ChristCorp - It is funny but as time passes they do pull away. Their lives will be controlled by the Cadre over the summer. The Thanksgiving visit will be joyous and sad. Christmas was even harder. By the time spring break rolls around they will ahve begun finding themselves.

For each of you the 2012 yahoo groups will give you a lot of solid news, and a place to vent when things aren't going as planned. As was said before if all goes well by the time they graduate your relationships will be differnet, but still the same.

txtwinmom

ds, It was a pleasure to have a nice dinner with Sara. She gave us some good advice and made DD feel even better about her decision to attend AFA.

This last month of Senior Year is busier than ever. Prom is next week, then parties, banquets and so forth. I told my best friend the other day that I had had an epiphany, "God gave us the teenage years so that we wouldn't be so sad to see them go." I love my girls so very much but right now I'm tired with no end in sight!

fencersmother

I was looking at our family calendar on the wall and we have NO free weekend until June 14. Sigh, when my kids leave their little nest, I am going to have to take a long nap!

I know lil sis will be very sad to see her buds leave, but I wonder how the dogs will react. When big bro left, they just sat outside his room for about 3 days - walked in, sniffed around (stray contraband food under the bed?), walked out, and sat down in the doorway.

The "going" seems harder on the parents. I suspect the "staying" (at a service acad) is MUCH harder for the kids.

ds52262

We have two Chihuahua's (Mia and Mochii). Mia gets really anxious when Sara is about to leave. They both go absolutely nuts when she returns. Sara always asks do you think they miss me. We can honestly answer yes. If you ask Mia "Where is Sara" she will run to her bedroom and start looking for her.

As for the little sisters one misses her the other is indifferent. Not really indifferent just much more concerned with her own life. You have to love teenagers. I miss when they were in Elementry School, and much easier to manage.