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Old 06-30-2008, 07:15 AM   #1
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Should My Daughter Go to A Women's College?

I know this comes up a lot but forgive me for not wanting to sift through thousands of posts.

This is a bit premature as my dd just finished a very successful freshman year at a competitive high school here in Connecticut.

I won't bore you will her stats; rather I am wondering if you can give her the plusses (and minuses) of attending Smith or one of the other top women's colleges?

My gut tells me she would be a good candidate. We have discussed this a bit in the early stages but she is unsure if she would want to do it. She's not ruling it out but she isn't ruling it in either.

She is very bright, talented in the theatre which she would like to study, politically aware if not active, personable, open to new experiences. I think she would thrive in this kind of environment; she's from a smaller school and that aspect is very appealing.

While I like the idea, I will support her in any direction she takes. She definitely wants smaller school, New England or New York, theatre/performing arts major, strong academics.

Any input would be appreciated.
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Old 06-30-2008, 02:17 PM   #2
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Pluses:

I think Smith has a ton of pluses, and it was a great place for me. To focus on some specific aspects of a single-sex environment:

a) The dorms (called houses at Smith), and really the whole campus, are cleaner and quieter. There's a lot less drinking. My siblings and parents attended co-ed schools and were always impressed that students didn't cause property damage, and that the bathrooms were really nice.

b) A single-sex student body means that the student body president, leader of all the clubs, etc. will always be a woman--as are a large number of professors, administrators, staff, etc. It's great to see so many women leading. I still remember a time during an internship I did in Washington--a fellow intern leaned over to me and whispered "do you notice anything strange about this meeting?" When I said no, he responded "I'm the only guy here!" But for me, seeing a bunch of powerful women around a boardroom table had become run-of-the-mill.

c) An network of female friends. A few years ago at Ivy Day Smith College: Commencement, an alum held up a sign reading "my Smith friends are still my best friends." I'm only two years out, but this is certainly true for me. My friends are incredible--smart, giving, funny and doing diverse and fascinating things with their lives. I think a lot of the popularity of shows like the Golden Girls and Sex in the City stems from a yearning for the sort of close female friendships those shows depict. But I feel like Smith helped me get my own version.

The alumnae network is also a gem. Working at reunion and joining the alumnae club in my new hometown have helped me meet some amazing women of all ages: authors and ambassadors and attorneys and so much more. There probably aren't many situations in which women aged 24-74 can sit down together as equals and really just enjoy one another's company, but I've seen it happen over and over at my Smith book group, and other alumnae events.

Minuses:
If your daughter wants to date (or befriend) men, she will have a smaller pool to choose from and will have to work harder. It's not impossible to meet guys: keep in touch with friends from high school, take classes off campus, meet your friends' friends/brothers/classmates/etc., do jobs or internships during the year or over the summer, participate in clubs that get you off campus (sports, debate, religious, political, etc.), try online dating, etc.

I was worried upon graduation that I'd sabotaged myself--that by going to Smith I'd missed out on the chance to have male friends, or even on learning how to be friends with guys in their mid-20s (I didn't keep in touch with many people from high school or spend a lot of time off-campus, and my summer jobs either involved mostly-female environments or places where people were all older than me). Two years later, I'm pretty confident it hasn't handicapped me, and I have friends of both genders from work and grad school, through friends and relatives, etc.
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Old 06-30-2008, 02:25 PM   #3
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Did you check the featured thread ("Why All Women's Schools?: The Smith Experience)?
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:59 AM   #4
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I'd been skeptical of LAC's in general and womens colleges in particular and my D has now just graduated from Smith. An absolutely terrific experience. The "fit" was great for her. I've come to the conclusion that "fit" really doesn't matter for some students but is vital for others. My D is one of the latter.

As a side note, she said that she wouldn't have acquired the academic record she did without having self-scheduled finals...she picked 2pm as much as possible, no 8am finals for her!

Fwiw, in the middle of junior year in high school, Columbia was her #1 on paper. After visiting, she didn't even apply. She was turned down from Yale EA and it's quite possible that that was a great favor to her, though it was demoralizing at the time.

Not only did she have terrific experiences at Smith, those experiences directly related to her first job out of college. She's working where she wanted to work, doing the kind of work she wanted to be doing, having won a highly competitive research job. She does plan to go to grad/law school in 2-3 years.

I've met several dozen Smithies over the last few years and as a group I couldn't wish for better group of peers for my D. That's probably one of the best testimonials I can give about Smith.
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:08 PM   #5
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I'm not sure Smith will be a good fit for a performing arts major. But then interests change. My own daughter went to Smith swearing that she'd never take another math or science class, and now she is majoring in neuroscience.

Stacy's post sums up the advantages and disadvantages nicely. My daughter did not originally want to go to an all-women's college and now she cannot imagine herself at another undergraduate institution. (Like TD's daughter, she applied early decision at an Ivy -- Princeton.)
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:35 PM   #6
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I went to an all women's college back in the 70's (Wellsley), and actively discouraged my d. from attending an all woman school. In part this was because throughout her life she's had close friendships with both genders, and I was concerned that an all woman school would cut off an important part of her pool of friendships. Also, I felt she had a pretty good sense of self, and would do well in a mixed enviroment.

However, there were two all woman schools that she strongly considered, both of which are part of a larger setting that is integrated - Barnard and Scripps. And she is going to Scripps, which is part of a group of 5 colleges that are co-located, and which have a great number people taking classes at each other colleges. So she feels like she may be getting the "best of both worlds" - close intimate setting with other woman, without most of the disadvantages of being isolated because of gender.

Good luck - don't for get the all woman/integrated question only one of the many aspects of finding a good fit.
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Old 07-02-2008, 08:02 PM   #7
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I've heard often that Scripps is modeled on Smith and is the "West Coast" Smith. Being on the West Coast, it was far too close to home for D...for all of us, so we never gave it a look.
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:29 AM   #8
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I was attracted to both Barnard and Scripps for the same reasons I was attracted to Smith, but Smith won out in the end (partially due to location, partially due to the fact that my mother begged me not to go to school in NYC).

It's still so early on in your daughter's high school career, I wouldn't get too fixated on the women's college/non-women's college thing just yet. It sounds like she may be a good fit for Smith, but depending on how her interests change over the course of the next four years, that could change too (I came into High School determined to earn a spot at a prestigious performing arts college, and left as a political-science bound Smith student).
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Old 07-07-2008, 02:55 PM   #9
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I can understand why your M begged you not to attend school in NYC. Student socializing in NYC focuses too much on local bars rather than on-campus activities common at most residential colleges/unis. And, off-campus socializing in NYC is very expensive. This off-campus bar-focused socializing has been the primary complaint of friends' Ds currently attending Barnard.
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