Study abroad with girlfriend?

jwintim · 03-24-2008, 10:19 AM

has anybody studied abroad with their girlfriend/boyfriend before? do you think this sounds like a good idea? do you think it would subtract or add to the overall experience? anybody have past experiences?

Pistolen08 · 03-24-2008, 03:19 PM

sounds like a realllly bad idea IMO

alethiometer · 03-25-2008, 10:10 AM

It's not usually a good idea for the same reasons that going to the same college straight out of high school is not a good idea. You will probably limit each other from having a full, rich experience. You also never know what might happen while abroad in terms of your relationship, such as a potential break-up.

If you really can't stand to be apart for a whole semester, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

unregistered · 03-25-2008, 01:20 PM

I completely disagree with the two above posters. OP never said they couldn't stand to be apart, and I agree that would be problematic, but there are definite pros and cons to the arrangement. I wouldn't plan to share an apartment, but I think it could be very positive to share the study abroad experience with a girlfriend. Speaking as someone who has traveled a lot both alone and with my boyfriend, being with him has usually enhanced the experience.

kelseyg · 03-25-2008, 08:17 PM

Sounds like a bad idea to me. If you have someone familiar (especially who speaks your language) around it'll be way too tempting to use them as a crutch and not get the full study abroad experience.

jwintim · 03-26-2008, 12:17 AM

thanks for the help. well my gf and i go to different schools so its not that we cant stand to be apart, but we are just both interested in going abroad in the same places and figured it might be fun to go together. we were actually thinking of going to two different schools in or near the same city to try to avoid some of the problems above.

kelseyg · 03-26-2008, 07:09 PM

That sounds like a better idea to me - I would just shy away from attending the same school, but if you're in the same city it might be pretty neat.

alethiometer · 03-26-2008, 09:20 PM

I agree that that sounds like a better idea than going to the exact same place.

And I didn't mean to imply that you can't stand to be apart, I just said that as a possibility

unregistered · 03-27-2008, 06:21 AM

What would be wrong with going to the same school? Most people attend school with their significant others.

The only problem I see with it is that it will be much easier to stay in your comfort zone, not meet people, etc...but most of the people I'm studying abroad with have latched on to Americans and not met so many locals, anyways. If you do go to the same school, live separately, but it really doesn't seem to me the terrible idea that people are painting it as.

SchoolisHard · 03-27-2008, 08:34 AM

I think I am the best equipped to answer your question, having nearly completed a year abroad with my girlfriend in France.

You will notice the following if she comes with you:

1. You won't want to make as many friends.
2. You won't make as much progress with language unless you have a very motivated girlfriend. My girlfriend was not motivated, and generally just got upset when I wanted to speak only French.
3. You two will grow closer, but whenever you are in your apartment it will feel like you are back in America. The "study abroad" experience just won't be there.
4. You won't feel comfortable leaving each other alone to go out except for tasks like grocery store shopping or running to the post office.
5. It will be very expensive. One of you should go now for a semester and then the other should go for a semester after taking one semester break in between.

If possible, do a summer program together for 6-8 weeks. That would be fulfilling and not feel like a large waste of time.

Having your girlfriend makes it easier, but that isn't the point.

unregistered · 03-27-2008, 03:56 PM

I think the "not comfortable leaving each other alone" thing is more a result of your own relationship style - I have never been that way in relationships. Anyways, all the above poster said can be true, but on the flipside, it can also be wonderful to share the experience with someone you love, and you won't be seizing the experience so well if you spend all your time missing her, which could well happen and wouldn't make you a weak or dependent person. I think too much of this situation depends on you guys - would I suggest that all couples study abroad together? Absolutely not, just as I wouldn't suggest that most people study abroad with their friends or anyone they know from back home. But I do think it could be, and has been, an enriching and positive experience for the right people.

extrabobby · 03-28-2008, 12:02 AM

I agree that it definitely depends on the couple. I think the biggest issue is if you want to study abroad together because you want to share the experience together or if you're doing it to avoid the semester/year-long separation. You can be sure, though, that you'll make fewer friends and speak a lot more English than you would traveling single - just by virtue of allocating time together.

Although I do think the idea of studying abroad in the same country and then maybe traveling around together after your semester is over is romantic/adventurous/fun/scary. Or you could get married at a church on the Mediterranean, drop out of your program, use the money to travel the world for your honeymoon and find a beautiful little studio apartment in Rome where you and your loved one decide to spend the rest of your life cuddling in a city where love is both sacred and tossed around carelessly.