Okay, so I am a senior this year and so I've accepted a place to Marymount Manhattan College's BFA Acting program. However, the thought of going to college literally makes me feel nervous and sick, not excited and thrilled like it should! I don't think that I feel this way because I'm leaving home or going to be in a new setting. My friend and I wanted to move to LA for community college but it didn't work out. When we were seriously discussing that and looking into it, I felt excited and hopeful. I just don't know if I'm made for the college setting. I've never enjoyed school although I do do well in it. I want to get into the entertainment industry, either in front of or behind the camera and figured college was the best way to do that. Now that decision time has come and it's become real, college seems like something terrifying. I'm not exactly 100% thrilled with my decision either, since I was rejected from my top choice and this school was one that was never at the top of my list. I just don't know what to do. For the last couple of months, college hasn't felt right. In my heart, I don't feel like this is the right choice for me but I don't know what else to do.
I've thought about attending a 2 year conservatory type program in LA and living on my own and the idea of doing that seems much, much more appealing to me! However, my parents are very iffy of me living on my own on the other side of the country (I live in PA) and I wouldn't have a four year degree.
It's always been pounded into my head that college was just a necessary step after high school. I took all the right steps to accomplish that: rigorous course load, good grades etc. I had an audition coach this year and got into good schools and I feel like if I choose not to go then I wasted my parent's money and time. I just feel really confused at this point and truly do not know what to do. As I was visiting different colleges and auditioning at them, I just didn't feel right or comfortable and can't see myself there for the next four years. My mom is adamant that I get my degree but I just don't know if this is the right path for me.