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i went so several workshops at UCLA on personal statements. My own advice would be to stop trying to be so unique and outlandish. No matter what, the adcoms will not remember you; even if your statement is unbelievable. There are simply too many statements to be read to look out and remember specifics. Just be yourself and make sure that the grammar, active voice, wording and everything is all polished. If you are not smart, do not use big words, if you are then do so in a natural voice.
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