So apparently the Dean sent this around to prospective students:
"Dear" [student's name],
"I am sending you the following essay by one of your classmates with the hope that it lightens your mood, reduces any end-of-the-year stress and inspires your creative juices in completing your applications. Enjoy the essay and the holidays!
"Dear University of Chicago,
It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you. Sometimes I just hunger for more, but I keep that a secret. The mail you send is such a tease; I like to imagine additional words on the page. Words like "you're accepted" or "you're awesome!" or "don't worry, she still loves you!" but I know they're all lies. You never called after that one time, I visited you thrice, but you never come around anymore. Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple "applicant" to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world? The closeness between us was beautiful, it couldn't have been just me that felt it, I know you felt it too. The intimacy was akin to that of scholar and original text, your depth as a person is astounding! To be honest, I must confess I had already dreamt of a rosy future together, one filled with late nights and long discussions over the Gothic era and the ethical stage of Kierkegaard, we would watch the sunset together and spend every Christmas snuggled in blankets. Eventually we would get older, I would become a well-educated corporate lawyer and you would enrich yourself within the domain of human knowledge. Your cup overfloweth with academic genius, pour a little on me. You're legendary for it, they all told me it would never work out between us, but I had hope. I had so much hope; I replied to your adorable letters and put up with your puns. I knew going into it that you would be an expensive one to keep around, I accounted for all that; I understand someone of your caliber and taste.
And now you inquire as to my wishes? They're simple, accept me for who I am! Why can't you just love and not ask why? Not ask about my assets or my past? I'm living in the now, I'm waiting for you to catch up, but you're too caught up in my past, I offer us a future together, not a past to dwell upon. Whenever I'm around you, I just get that tingle deep inside me that tells me you're the one; you have that air of brilliance and ingenuity that I crave in a person, you're so mature and sophisticated, originality is really your strongest and most admirable trait. I wish we could be together, I still think in my heart of hearts we were meant to be, but you have to meet me halfway, dear. I'm on one knee here with tears welling up in my eyes, the fireworks are timed and ready to light up the night sky for you, just say 'I accept...you.'
Always,
Rohan"
P.S. Rohan was admitted to UChicago last week and will be joining us in the fall. I can't wait to meet him.
P.P.S. This was in response to the question: How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community and future? DO NOT see this as a blueprint, but one of many types of essays we get. Be yourself!
Best regards,
James N...Vice President
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid"
Which is fine, of course, except for the fact that my Why Chicago is in exactly the same format. And somehow, covers a lot of the same ideas. Should I change mine since the dean decided to screw me over
You could change it. Or you could incorporate sending this around as one of the bad-lover behaviors you are complaining about -- mocking you that there are others who feel exactly the same way. Propose a threesome.
But if your execution isn't substantially different from, and better than, this, find something else to write, because you are screwed. That happens sometimes.
And, yes, this was very, very, very good. When you are wondering about all those people with inferior stats and lackluster ECs that seem to get accepted while their betters are deferred or rejected, remember this. How many SAT and GPA points is this worth? A whole freaking bunch, that's how many.
I honestly think it's irresponsible for the Dean to send out something like this. 5 of my friends (and me) are applying to Chicago and two of us decided to use a letter format since we come up with a lot of essay ideas together. We both went in completely different directions, mine being considerably more passionate. By sending this out the dean has done two things:
1. Make anyone who wrote a letter look like they took it off here
2. Cause everyone of those high-achieving, grade obsessed suck ups to copy this format
My "Why Chicago" was the second college essay I wrote (right after my common app) and I've been lovingly perfecting it for over two months. And now, I can't use it. Ok I guess I COULD but I hate the idea of someone thinking I copied it.
Maybe I'm overreacting, but this is not cool. I can't even imagine writing another Why Chicago because the one I have is me through and through. My friend's been freaking out ever since I showed him since he can't change it (submitted last week). Why would the dean do something like this?
@JHS - Haha, yeah I might just take up your advice. But why stop at threesome? I'll suggest a massive 5000 person orgy.
As to your other point... yeah I think mine is as good (speaking objectively, of course). And it's not exactly the same but some elements are freakishly similar - love letter, the visits, cherishing her mail (course catalog in my case), not focusing on past (mine says to ignore the future as well). I have some stuff Rohan didn't and he has some stuff I didn't. But on the whole, very similar.
I think it was irresponsible for the dean to send out this email too. Dean's action failed to accomplish any of the goals he outlined at the beginning. This email does not "reduce anxiety" or "lighten mood". I really don't think this is a good idea. He should have posted this essay after the current admissions cycle is completed.
This essay is not generic. It is in fact, very specific.
Quote:
The intimacy was akin to that of scholar and original text.
This quote alone shows that the applicant has done ample research about the University. The phrase "emphasis on analyzing original text" is used on the UChicago official website.
Yeah I don't see how it's so good, but I guess it was. i mean, the writing style is slightly tacky...and parts of it are in passive. And it didn't reveal any particular "characteristic" that he liked in Chicago.
Eh...I mean I guess mine was worse, but stilll---didn't they have any better ones lol? Good luck guys and it doesn't have to be like this...mine wasn't. Mine was an essay describing how UChicago was my escape from the metaphorical Plato's cave that is my high-school life.
Just make it "you." That's it. Don't worry about what others will think. Just write it, regardless of what this says.
Are you saying that ONE example of "analyzing original text" makes this essay good?
I think this essay is great because he did something which is exceptionally hard to do, that is write a love letter to a college without sounding sappy, and did it very well.
I have a friend who did the same for another college, and hers reads nothing like this. In fact, it read as if she wants to have sexual intercourse with the college, which is quite creepy, but hey, who knows.
But I also think that the Dean should not have sent this out, and quite frankly, I dont see why he did. it was obviously not to lighten the mood or get our creative juices flowing, and it discredits a lot of people who were going to do something similar for their essay, like Confused92 and I'm sure many others.
This essay was probably used more to increased yield for EA applicants than anything. It shows how passionate some applicants are for the university, and hence gives some admits some thoughts to chew on. It's also a way of saying, "Just because our admit rates are dipping doesn't mean that our student culture is changing."
(jokes)
