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Are there polar bears in Michigan?

Splintercell50Splintercell50 Posts: 565Registered User Member
My parents are scared that if I go to University of Michigan, I will get eaten by a polar bear. Now to some, this may seem like a ridiculous idea but my parents are very protective of me and thus they need to know that I will be safe.

So does U of M have a defense squadron in case of attacks from polar bears or will I be pretty much left for dead if said event occurs?

I am not a 100% sure that polar bears are in Michigan but it is pretty cold up there and my friend Dennis told me that his uncle saw a Polar bear in Michigan.

Any advice people?
Post edited by Splintercell50 on
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Replies to: Are there polar bears in Michigan?

  • bennisbennis Posts: 351Registered User Member
    ****

    That was actually pretty funny.
  • puppylover6464puppylover6464 Posts: 361Registered User Member
    umm...the only polar bears here are at the detroit zoo.

    wow.
  • dsmodsmo Posts: 1,749Registered User Senior Member
    It's not really the polar bears so much, if you don't bother them, they won't bother you. You really need to watch out for the wolves. There are a lot of them, and they roam in packs that have overtaken most of the major cities in the Detroit area.
  • onetwothreefouronetwothreefour Posts: 25Registered User New Member
    Maybe I should come to Michigan then. Seeing, as an Australian, I'm used to riding kangaroos to school, I have an acute appreciation of diverse wildlife in urban environments :D
  • dilksydilksy Posts: 1,903- Senior Member
    The girls aren't that bad here, but watch out if you ever go up to the Upper Peninsula. From what I hear, there's a lotta polar bears and snow cows.
  • vc08vc08 Posts: 3,340Registered User Senior Member
    o.m.g. i thought being afraid of snowbanks was bad, wow, i feel soo much better now.
  • Splintercell50Splintercell50 Posts: 565Registered User Member
    ^^^^

    There are banks made of snow? Wow..talk about being unsafe structurally.
  • vc08vc08 Posts: 3,340Registered User Senior Member
    haha, definitely. it's especially bad when there are termites in the ice
  • GoBlue81GoBlue81 Posts: 3,755Registered User Senior Member
    Hey, who are you calling "polar bear"?
  • hoedownhoedown Posts: 3,751Registered User Senior Member
    Everyone in Michigan carries a satchel full of guinea pigs around from November to April. That's so that if you run into a polar bear, you can toss it a guinea pig and buy some time to get away while the bear gobbles it down.

    It's completely impractical to mount a security force against these things. Once the Detroit River freezes, Polar bears can (and do) come pouring over from Canada and there's no good way to control them or predict where they'll head. Guinea pigs are the way to go.
  • atrophicwhisperatrophicwhisper Posts: 1,744Registered User Senior Member
    Poor, unfortunate guinea pigs. I'd feel guilty about sacrificing them to the polar bears.... D:
  • GoBlue81GoBlue81 Posts: 3,755Registered User Senior Member
    Any one ever got chased by BIG FAT Squirrels?
  • hoedownhoedown Posts: 3,751Registered User Senior Member
    I would not mess with a Michigan squirrel. Ever.
  • AMDAMD Posts: 128Registered User Junior Member
    Yes, one polar bear is teaching freshmen classes.
  • MissBarbaraMissBarbara Posts: 471Registered User Member
    yeah i was about to say... i haven't heard about the polar bears but i have heard that the squirrels occasionally feed on the weaker freshmen (like lions that can sense weak gazelles)
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