Ruruster

I got in, but now that kinda of messes up my plan for what I was trying to do. My parents are celebrating because it's an "asian" honor or something like that, but I don't know if I can handle being 3 hours away from home. I live near Vienna, Virginia and UVA is a good distance between my current home. I am very dependent on my family. I love my friends, but I'm the kind of person who prefers to be alone most days or spend some relaxing quality time with Mom or my sisters...

I was trying to just go to GMU with a full scholarship, get excellent grades there, and just get into a good graduate school. When you have time, could you please tell me about the lifestyle of UVA? How was moving into a dorm for the first time? How's the commute? How are the people? Academically, is it extremely challenging? [Because I also figure that if I get "average" grades at UVA, I should just to go GMU...]

I am very confused on what I should do. This is a beautiful opportunity, and I know that. UVA is an amazing school with a grand reputation and wondrous potential. I just want to be happy...but I don't know if I can being away from my family.

sunshadow

I know it's hard when you are so close to your family, and that is to be commended by the way.
But it really sounds like going to UVA is probably the best thing you could do for yourself. One year from now I guarantee you would look back and be so grateful you took the leap because it enabled you to grow as an individual. You will be much happier and more confident as an adult, I bet.

FLVADAD

I completely understand about close family ties. We are the same way. However, 3 hours is really not that far, and it sounds like it might not be a bad idea for you to begin expanding your horizons a bit. If you approach it with the right attitude UVA could be very good for you. I think it is a good idea to get out of your comfort zone a bit and prepare for the possibility there may be other times when you will be logistically apart from close family members. Plus, if UVA is a cause for celebration, it sounds like your parents also want you to take advantage of the opportunity. I say go for it.

barboza

Ruruster, I don't think you should go to GMU just because you think you'll get better grades there. College is a time where you'll want to see yourself challenged and being at UVA with so many amazing students is something that I really love. It's also a place where you make your transition into the "real world", so being independent and away from home helps with that.

powderpuff

Isn't Vienna, Va more like 2 hours away?

afro_ninj4

yeah its not that far. the only problem in that you'll have to take a train or hitch a ride from others

gadad

I'm not aware that GW has full scholarships, and U.Va as an in-state student is one of the greatest higher ed bargains in the country.

kindaslick89

Vienna is like 2 hours away maybe 2 hrs 15 minutes, I would know since I live in Centreville. And to put yourself in the best position to succeed, you should definantly choose UVA. GMU is an average school by all means, if you had good enough stats to get into UVA why wouldn't you go?

davhu1

Definitely go to UVA. We made it to UVA a little as 1-1/2 hour from Centreville. Most of the time it’s less than 2 hrs, add another 15 min to Vienna. There lots of kids from NoVa. You can always hitch or share a ride home on weekends. There is also a bus that goes from UVA to Vienna Metro Station on weekends.

UVA and GMU are no comparison. It’s a great opportunity. Don’t give up. If you do not do well and miss home after a semester, you can always transfer back to GMU. You should talk over with your parents about the financial situation: better education vs free ride. As Asian parents, many of us a will to paid for a better education.

Barrett08

Now that the dust is beginning to settle, I have had that thought. Mine is partial scholarship to tech vs regular at UVa.


I find myself thinking; Is it better to go to a less rigorous program and be a slam dunk for choice of major and graduate school, or take your chances in a pool of amazing students who don't need to work as hard as I do for good grades.

We are lucky to have these good choices though.

Davhu1 makes a good point that you can always transfer. Seems to be easier to transfer to GMU or Tech than transfering into UVa.

sf49rox

You are still in Virginia... I used to live in cville, it grows on you...

bln_1975

Yes, you can transfer to GMU (from UVA), but most likely you will not have a scholarship and a spot in the hpnors program (if you do badly at UVA)

HopefulHoo'sDad

Ruruster:

I can empathize with your dilemma. My wife, who was very close to her family, went “away” to college (all of 45 minutes from where she lived), and was miserable most of her first year because she was terribly homesick, not because the school she chose wasn’t good or the people weren’t nice. She then transferred to another school back home and spent her second year attending college while living at home, which was much better for her.

For her third through fifth years, she again left home to attend a school that was about as far away from her home as UVa is from yours. She loved her new school. The people and the professors were nice, the work was challenging but interesting and engaging, and she graduated with a professional degree in the field in which she wanted to work.

So, what accounts for the difference in her experiences? First, she really wanted to be at the school from which she graduated; she was very interested in the course of study offered by the school, and she had a goal for what she planned to do with her degree after she graduated. Second, although the course of study she pursed at the school was very hard, she found that she was surrounded by other students who were equally focused on their academics. These folks, some of whom became good friends, knew that success in the classroom could not be achieved apart from diligent study. Thus, while these young men and women enjoyed having fun as much as anyone else, they “worked first, and played later”, only after their studies were done. Their primary focus was their academics, not their social life, even though they enjoyed the social aspects of the college experience. My wife related well to this more mature approach to college life; for the most part, the students at her first school weren’t nearly as focused on their academics or motivated by clear goals, which made life more difficult for kids (my son hates it when I use that word) who were. Third, the school was a “good fit” for her in other areas outside the classroom. She was able to get involved in co-curricular activities and programs that she enjoyed, which added to the richness of her college experience.

Here’s how I suggest all this relates to your dilemma. The real issue isn’t whether you go away to college or attend school in or around your home town. Rather, it’s what the school has to offer that meets your needs and goals, and what you do with your time and yourself while attending. I encourage you to think about things like what do I want to do for the rest of my life, and how will each school help me reach my goals? What are the academic environments at the schools I’m considering, and which seems best suited for me? What other things do I enjoy doing, and what specific opportunities do the schools I’m considering offer in these areas? And yes, how will I deal with being away from my family if I “go away” to school? How easily can I get to and from my parent’s house when I want to go home? Also, what opportunities might exist for me to invite my sisters to come and visit me at college? Or, if you decide to stay at home and attend college, what will be the advantages and disadvantages of making this choice? Will living at home help or hinder success in school and how will it impact your quality of life outside the classroom? These are a few important factors you might want to consider in making your decision.

Also, since so much of what we get out of (anything in) life is a direct function of what we (are willing to) put into it, I believe you should ask yourself another question: “What am I willing to do to make my college experience rich, full and successful, regardless of where I decide to attend”? I submit that the answer to this question will go a long way to determining your future success no matter where you enroll.

My advice would be to actively engage with, and then visit, the top two schools you are considering. Learn as much as you can about the schools before you visit. Then plan and make at least two trips to each school and see and experience what the school has to offer. In the case of UVa, plan to attend their Days on the Lawn Program if you can, but don’t stop there. Make sure when you visit, you look to connect with programs with which you might become involved, be they specific academic programs or Departments, the school newspaper , Cavalier Marching Band, Intramural Sports, Career and Pre-Professional Counseling, Faith Based Groups, etc., etc., etc. Have lunch and/or dinner in the school’s Dining Hall. Also look at the current semester’s Course Offering Directory (COD) and find two or three courses you might enjoy sitting in on when you visit. Be creative about what you could do on your visits; this list is limited only by your areas of interest and the amount of time you’re willing to devote to visiting. Immerse yourself as much as you can in the school and what it offers so as to get a real sense of how it “feels” to you, and what you think it would be like to spend the next four years of your life there. And be sure to take your parents with you, so that all of you see and experience the school firsthand and are exposed to the opportunities available at the schools under consideration.

These are some of the things we did last year when my son made his college decision. Although he had had his heart set on attending UVa for several years before he applied, all the visiting we did reinforced his desire to attend, and it also made his transition this past fall much easier than it would have been otherwise. He truly knew his way around before he got there, and he had already met and in some cases had gotten to know, people and programs where he is now involved.

I hope some of the above proves helpful in confronting your dilemma and resolving your question of which college you should attend. In the end I believe you should make your choice based on what you think is best for you and which school environment feels most comfortable to you. Best wishes with your decision.

Remember this if you will. We parents give our children roots, and show them how to use their wings. And then we lovingly step back and encourage our children to spread their wings and venture out on their own. We’re always here/there for you, but in a somewhat different capacity. Less of a parent and more of a friend, advisor, counselor, etc. if you will. Children mature, grow up and go to college, but you never leave our heart, regardless of whether or not you leave home to attend school.

Ruruster, you can venture out and spread your wings at either of the schools you’re considering, whether close to home or a few hours away. One of those first attempts at using your wings and confirming your parents changed role is making the decision you’re now facing. Do what I suggested above and choose the school you feel is best for you at this time and stage of your life. If your parents are involved in and understand the reasons for your decision, I’m pretty sure they’ll support whatever you decide. And no matter which college you choose, remember what you’re there for, and make the most of the opportunities that school offers you.

On an unrelated matter, I’ve got to take a break from CC until after April 15th to devote myself more fully to matters of work and making a living. Powderpuff, Cav and many other knowledgeable folks can and will tend quite well (much better than me actually) to assisting posters in my absence. Over and out for now.

powderpuff

HHD, what the heck??? Say it ain't so! I hope you come back some day. Keep in touch now and then. I know I speak for all, in that your wisdom has been much appreciated, as you have helped countless numbers of us (students) launch our individual lives/careers here at UVA. I'll miss your friendly, thoughtful, long postings~~powderpuff

PS: April 15th??>>You must have some link to accounting. Well, you will still be missed!

jtm4499

Everyone is not ready to leave home at the same time. You can always start at GMU and transfer when you are ready.