mmz

...without sounding like you're bragging?

maineparent

I will never forget being at a dinner party one night....and hearing two of the guys talk about going to Hanover......and New Haven..... because of the bragging thing....if someone asked me where my son was going to school, I started by saying he was in New Haven......pause, adding at Yale.....if they didn't guess...... but, there is a brief window of time where you can bragg sort of....because you did get into a top, top school....a very competitive school and your enthusiasm is genuine..... enjoy it before you have to do the coursework!!

Booklady

Don't volunteer the information. If you're asked, say "Yale! And I'm very excited about going", or something along those lines. If others want to construe that as bragging, that's their problem, not yours.

gagilord

Totally agree with Booklady. If someone asks you answer. If they think that's bragging - their problem.

sgtpepper08

My mom or my friends usually tell the person, whether or not they ask about it.

frrrph

Some of my family and friends don't know what Yale is. For those back home that might, I just say the U.S.

Over here, I used to say Yale but then add "I transferred in! From a community college!" -- Don't really know why I keep doing that, as if I'm ashamed. I suppose it still feels weird just to be here and I want to make sure people understand I'm still in that mindspace "outside" of Yale, just as they are; but there's going to come a point where I honestly can no longer say that this school is all strange and new and monolithic for me anymore.

But really -- why be ashamed? So I've tried adding "isn't that weird and awesome?!" instead. Defusing the implications and all. If i think of it as 50/50 dumb luck and skill, maybe people I drop the Y-bomb on will recognize that mental acknowledgment and not feel that same social gap between us.

riverrunner

Yikes: "Oh, poor us, we have to talk about getting in to Yale...."

I'm with all of you. This is an awkward time. Our local paper just printed a list of students and their college choices. My grocery store encounters yesterday ranged from "did she get a good scholarship?" ( inappropriate because it would have to have been need based) to "where is that, anyway?" to "how can you let her go so far away?" and some "congratulations" which seems off to me because, as we all know, it's such a crap shoot, and so many of her classmates who are just as smart and involved as she is, got accepted to wonderful but not as famous schools. I hope these students receive "congrats" as well! They do from me.

Booklady, I love your response and will paraphrase!

Booklady

Glad you liked it. Interesting that your paper prints this information. D's school stopped putting out such a list the year she graduated, even internally, and now only shows how many kids are going to each school; no names are involved. That helped a lot with the grocery store encounters, since I only had to give the information if asked!

riverrunner

^^our paper doesn't publish all student information, but our school district, in combination with Rotary, recognizes 100 scholars from our area, based solely on GPA. The District and Rotary pay to publish an insert listing the students' names, a photo, college plans, and possible major. It's very nice to have, and since we've known many of these kids for years, a good way to see where people are headed, without asking! In some ways, it may help my D, because there won't be that Y bomb moment, as people who care to know will have had time to think more clearly about what an appropriate remark would be, and maybe not make such a fuss.

singermom1

The Y bomb is happening tonight for my D We don't know how to feel about the fact that she is the only kid from her school going to an Ivy or anything close to an Ivy. I am sure there will be lots of remarks after the ceremony. They also announce the scholarships from all the schools they were admitted to. D's amount to about 500,000 and from what we can tell that is double the amount anyone has reported in the last 4 years. So we are worried about how to handle it. The plan right now is to go in with heads held high and smiles and cheers. D has worked extremly hard and deserves the recognition. She is worried and getting prepared for the inevitable hate. The funny part is, most people will still be going to school for far less money than D. Yale was good to us but it is still quite expensive.

hiawatha1919

Whoa, her scholarships amount to 500,000? Why are you paying anything for Yale then?

singermom1

All of it is merit or middle income need aid from schools.

Booklady

Congratulations to your D, singermom! I know what you mean about the "inevitable hate". It wasn't voiced too much to my D over the years, but she did win an outsize share of awards, during both middle and high school. Her school sends lots of kids to Ivies and Ivy-caliber colleges, so that wasn't an issue, but D cringed more than smiled every time her name was called at one of those ceremonies. By the time she got to be a senior, though, and knew she was headed to Yale, she didn't care any more. She held her head high and grinned!

singermom1

Thanks Booklady! We are so happy for her and proud!

Yep, we will be holding heads up high, I am calling around for reinforcements as I sit here and post on CC. The more of our own people that are there, the easier it will be to ignore the looks and celebrate!

singermom1

Well, the evening went better than expected but the aftermath has been a bit strange.
Our biggest problem is people who don't know what to say. A lot of people have been coming up to congratulate D but then go on to give excuses about why their son or daughter is going to State school. It is weird that they feel like they need to justify that to us??
I just ran into someone last night who was so upset that she could hardy talk to me. The two kids have basically grown up together attending the same schools from K. They decided due to finaid to send their kid to State U. Even though the kid had been accepted to some OSS schools. Very AWKWARD. As she left she mumbled oh, congratulations to all of you, Ok...I am so sorry that your kid did not even APPLY to Yale. Why do people act like this when they didn't even apply? I realize that there is a lot of disapointment, and that this has been a tough year for admissions and finaid. I think that people were expecting too much and did not cast the net wide enough. Most of these kids probably didn't even know what requirements were needed to get into an Ivy. Any ideas on how we can make this less awkward? Ideas on things to say?

How do you go up to people and congratulate them or say hello without the awkwardness? Help! Graduation is looming!!!!