frrrph

But don't you think that current students' passion for convincing kids to come says something about who we are as a school?

mom2319

Pacificbreeze talked about passions among newly admitted students. I wonder where that comes from if it is not from the persistent and intensive persuasion from the current students.

wjb

^^Why is it necessary to denigrate the school your child did not choose? My son had a terrible time choosing between H & Y. Liked them both very much, and found many more similarities than differences. One of the factors that ultimately led him to choose Yale was the spirit of enthusiasm among the students. He did not view it as "alarming" or "persistent and intensive persuasion."

mom2319

wjb, that's exactly my point. Kids are different. Your kid did not feel concerned, my kid did although this was not the only reason he did not choose Y. Location and intended area of concentration among others were the determining factors.

I'm simply here to share my perspectives. This board is not only visited by admitted students and their parents. There are many perspective students here trying to get information. I wasn't trying to denigrate the school that my kid did not choose. However, i If you read the title of this post, you know who is doing that. I do not often see threads like this on other boards.

pacificbreeze

No, there are no admission officers or current students behind the scene. At least in my daughter's case. She fell in love with Yale when we visited there almost two years ago. She then did thorough research on her own comparing all the peer schools and only found that she loves more about yale. She is a people-person and finds perfect fit in Yale. The passion I saw in her is not influenced by other people considering that she knew no body there before she is admitted and she is the first one to be admitted to Yale in her school's histroy. Interestingly she already found a bunch of newly admitted student who went through the similar identification process, that is why and how they started passing around their enthusiam, which naturally infected people around them.

Well, my point is that somehow Yale's culture attacts kids who apprently enjoys a healthy and supportive scocial life. While you basically can get the top education in all the top schools, the school culture and social life then become very important. "fit" is probablly the most important thing to consider when you choose a school. (I always have trouble to reason why kids choose a school based heavily on location when there are no safety concerns. It is the school and its people make the major college experience!). I know that not everyone will fall in love with Yale, which is perfectly normal. But anyone who identifies him/her at yale is going to have a great time. My daughter now can't wait to go to Yale, it is wonderful to see how much she loves it.

riverrunner

pacificbreeze, very well said. My D will be a Yale 2012 as well. Her process of "falling in love" with Yale is similar to your D. She has visited three times in 18 months, but prior to her junior year, she knew virtually nothing about Yale.

She says everyone she's met with a Yale association: employee, alum, current student and admitted student, has been unfailingly humble, kind and generous. This can't possibly describe ALL Yale people, but it seems to fit a surprising number!

She is pretty naive about "prestige" and social position, so this wasn't a factor. We live far from New England, she doesn't know anyone who goes to a private school, and her classmates will stick pretty close to home for college. She's attracted to the obvious things: unparalleled academic opportunities, the residence college system, and a very hard-to-pin down feeling about the people at Yale. "They're all just so NICE," is something I've heard many times.

Any concerns about New Haven simply had no room in her decision. Nor did hours and hours of travel from home and friends. pacific, maybe our daughters have already met on line. The admitted student website is a wonder, and a true gift to the prefrosh community.

OK, I'm already a diehard Yale fan, and I haven't had the high school graduation party yet. Sorry to gush.

pacificbreeze

I believe there are kids who chose Harvard after thoughtful studies. They found “fit” there and they believed they love and can thrive there. I respect them and sincerely wish them a great time there. However, I’ve also heard things like “Harvard is Harvard”, which, to me, is like “what do you want me to say? I am at Harvard!” . That kind of superior sentiment really puts me off. You do not hear Yalies saying thinks like that. Kids should feel lucky that they have opportunities to go to the top schools to get top educations. There are so many individuals who are equally talented and qualified but just did not even apply to top schools due to various reasons and family issues. I often think that the Yale’s friendliness and down-to-earth attitude come from Yalies’ hearts, how can one fake it?

There are also kids who can not decide which school to go simply because they can not find a single big reason to tip their balance, and they have to rely on coin-toss. I fully understand them.

However, lately I often heard kids saying things like: “I really want to go to Yale, but my parents want me to go to Harvard” “My heart is at Yale, but……” “I asked my parents to let me go to Yale for college; and told them I’ll go to Harvard for graduate school”… There is one extreme case: a father told her daughter that he would not pay unless she chose Harvard. I wonder what these parents are doing, or if it is them to want that tiny-teeny bit of old prestige. I just want to tell these parents that besides education, in today’s world, healthy emotion, supportive peer groups and sincere associations with all kinds of people are the factors that will take the kids to a far more productive and enjoyable life in the future. Please let them choose.

guitars101

pacificbreeze,

I think you should just enjoy your childs years at Yale and not worry about what other people are doing. My son did choose Harvard, but after lots of consideration. He has many friends who chose other schools other than Harvard or Yale (even when they were admitted) because they felt a better fit elsewhere. No one that I know is saying anything to them as to why they chose those schools over Harvard and Yale.

Let it go and stop trying to make a point. Everyone is different.

mom2319

Pacificbreeze, I'm glad your daughter found her fit and passion at Yale. Good for her. I have no doubt most kids will be happy at the school of their own choice. Last year, my friends were unhappy about the way their kid was persuaded to matriculate. When I saw your post about persuasion letters and support groups, I couldn't help make a comment.

When I talked about the location, I did not refer to safety cioncerns, but rather a city vs college town feel. In terms of prestige, I really feel H and Y are pretty on par with each other. I do believe the choice between these two great institutions have more to do with the location and specific field of concentration.

worknprogress

As a mom of a very happy Yalie, I would be the first to say that no school is perfect. Having visited H & P for admitted students days last year, my daughter had this sense that Yalies were intense, but didn't take themselves too seriously. That impression has been borne out this year.

For some, the almost manic atmosphere of Yale might not be right. There are always a hundred things going at once and it can be hard to balance all of the activities and competing interests. If you think Bulldog Days were intense - wait til you arrive as a Freshman. My daughter was signed up for so many activities and I just had to bite my tongue and wait for her to figure out that she couldn't possibly participate in all of them. For my D it has been terrific year, but I think she would have been happy at any of her top choices.

guitars101

nice point worknprogress. You're right!

evil_asian_dictator

What basis do you have for making a statement like that? Have you met every person that has gone to Yale and can testify that "You do not hear Yalies saying things like that"? I believe you're just talking about cross admits between Harvard and Yale. If a student is choosing between Yale and the University of Michigan, a lot of the student's friends/acquaintances will be saying "OF COURSE YALE, it's Yale". Is that not a "superior statement"? This notion that the Yale student body is a lot mor "down to earth" and "friendly" than its Harvard counterpart is ridiculous. Both schools select students from the same academic mold so there's no reason why there would be such a disparity. One thing's for sure, if constant threads like this on the Yale forum is any indication, there is a definite Harvard inferiority complex at Yale.

mochamaven

And EAD, as a student at neither school, you have an even weaker basis for comparison! I've never heard the "Yale is Yale" argument, and I think a lot of people here think that such a statement is ridiculous, "even" with regards to a comparison with Mich. Yale students really do seem more down-to-earth...mostly because there isn't as much of a spirit of competition between students. I hear this a lot, from prefrosh and students from other schools who come to visit. I think a lot of people would agree that while HYPSM are choosing from the "same pool" of applicants, each school has its own unique character...I know that Stanford and Yale feel very different...S is even more laid-back!

Also note that most of these Harvard-bashing threads are started by prefrosh rather than current students. People here don't care that much about Harvard...it's a half-joking rivalry, like OSU/Michigan.

What is up with your weird dislike of Yale?

riverrunner

In defense of pacific, about 90% of what she says is "Yale is X, Y and Z." Others (Harvard students/fan club members) are making an assumption that she is therefore saying, "And Harvard is NOT X, Y and Z." Most of the time, pacific, and most others on this thread have expressed enthusiasm for Yale (it's the Yale Forum, after all) without saying anything negative about H.

It seems to be part of human nature to pick a side (usually the most familiar side, or the side we happen to be on ) and defend it passionately, even in the absence of data about the other side. This phenomenon can be seen in international relations as well as college rivalries.

H and Y aren't opposites. They are distinct, but have many more similarities than differences, compared to the thousands of other colleges and universities in the world.

Truce!

embeezy

Eloquently stated, riverrunner. I second the motion.