Okay, I said I was gonna work really hard my sophomore year of high school. I promised myself that I was gonna climb the ranks and be rank one, but I'm struggling like a kid with no hands trying to type an essay. I feel like I don't have what it takes for this class. In all honesty, I want to give up.
But it's too late and I have to suck it up and stay in that class for the rest of the semester. My teacher straight up told me on the first day of school that I will not get an A on my first unit test, or my first essay because it is that hard. I'm a kid that's not used to getting B's; I'd get a heart attack if I got one, but I didn't get a B on my first test, I got a C, a 76 to be exact, and my heart dropped. I was scared out of my mind! I told myself that I was gonna be great this year, get all A's and all that good stuff to get into my dream college. My teacher eventually gave extra points and my test grade went up to an 83, but my grade average is still an 86, (My quiz average is the only thing keeping it up, and it's a 100). I'm stressed out about this class. I don't walk in this class, feeling the great atmosphere that I get in my other classes; no I feel like I'm gonna embarrass myself and do poorly on every single assignment I get, and it's killing me. Although she tells everyone to keep the notes concise, I write down almost everything, because I'm scared that it will be on the quiz. I know the year just started and everyone is telling me that it will get easier, but I don't see it getting easier! I just feel like it's going to get harder. I embarrassed myself when I read my DBQ aloud, and like i said before I'm trying to get rank one and I'm constantly getting beaten by the other kids (academically). Not only does this lower my self-esteem, it lowers my GPA. I don't know if I should accept the fact that I will never be valedictorian, or I should keep going, because I feel like I'm on the edge right now. I have other classes to worry about also like Spanish 3 Honors, Algebra 2 Honors, English 2 Honors, and Chemistry Honors. And as my stress levels increase, my grade averages decrease.
Any advice would be appreciated, I'm not looking for a pity party. I really just need some guidance. I'm too scared to even ask my teacher for help because I feel like my questions are stupid. She makes it look easy, but when it comes down to me I completely space out when reading the documents. Maybe this class isn't for me, or maybe I just haven't gotten used to the college atmosphere.
I honestly don't know anymore.
P.S. I've read How To Be A High School Superstar, didn't really like it.