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Can someone Grade my practice AP Change over time essay?

lsu1993lsu1993 Registered User Posts: 137 Junior Member
edited May 2010 in AP Tests Preparation
prompt -analyze the changes and continuities in patterns of interactions along the Silk Road from 200 B.C.E to 1450 C.E.

Time has the ability to change many things, but many also stay the same. This holds true for the interactions along the Silk Road from 200 B.C.E to 1450 C.E. Although the similarities may outweigh the changes, the silk road diffused disease along with culture, adapted to overseas trade, helped to forge a connection between Asian and European markets and triggered periods of Enlightenment in Europe.

The Silk Road mainly started as a way for trade to flourish between Europe and Asia. Many Europeans were interested in luxury goods such as silk, jade, spices and porcelain. As a result, the Asians were able to prosper from the exporting of such goods. This would much later result in the Silver Trade imbalance issue between China and Britain sparking the Opium Wars. Europe also became influenced from the Silk Road because they viewed ones self worth on the number of exotic goods in your possession.

Goods were not the only interactions along the Silk Road. One of the major tragedies in the Eastern Hemisphere was the Bubonic Plague. The Plague originated from the Mongols and spread westward along the Silk Road. The Silk Road had many merchants from all over the Continent so the spread of the disease was inevitable. The luxury goods that came from Asia were often carried long distances either by animal or by boat, either way aiding the transfer of the Plague. What had once just been a trade route, now has become a major artery for the Eastern Hemisphere. Anything that reaches the Silk Road will be spread accross Europe, the Middle East and Asia.

The major religion of Islam also became strengthened by interactions along the Silk Road. Islam was often spread not through missionaries but throguh merchants. Due to the large volume of trade along the Silk Road, merchants were very successful in diffusing Islamic beliefs to the rest of the World. Islamic nations along the Silk Road were also very advanced due to their contact and proximity to the Gupta Dynasty in India. As a result, Europeans gained this knowledge when they went on their Crusades against the Muslims. This caused a period known as the Enlightenment in Europe and the Silk Road was a very large contributing factor to this.

Overall, many things changed along the Silk Road from 200 B.C.E to 1450 C.E. Religions, diseases, and knowledge were transfered along the Silk Road. What once was just a simple trading system, has now evolved into a major highway for the spread of much, much more.

please grade on a scale of 1-9
Post edited by lsu1993 on

Replies to: Can someone Grade my practice AP Change over time essay?

  • SeekingUniSeekingUni Registered User Posts: 2,188 Senior Member
    Did you practice this one just to practice writing an essay, or to reinforce your knowledge of the Silk Roads?
  • lsu1993lsu1993 Registered User Posts: 137 Junior Member
    just to practice writing the essay, im new to the format
  • [bubble]wrap[bubble]wrap Registered User Posts: 36 New Member
    It's also a good idea to address continuities :]
  • derek260derek260 Registered User Posts: 324 Junior Member
    I'll just grade this one. And I just realized that DBQ I graded of yours was on the AP test when I took it.

    EDIT: According to the rubric you would get a 7 out of 9. :) You acquired all of the basic possible points. Good job. If you want the extra 2 you need to develop your style like how you said, "What had once just been a trade route, now has become a major artery for the Eastern Hemisphere", was good; you need to a bit more specific with dates or time periods if possible (don't guess if you don't know for sure though); and focus on cause and effect relationships.
This discussion has been closed.