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How Much of the Application Process Should Mom Be Doing?

CCEdit_TorreyCCEdit_Torrey 28 replies247 threadsEditor Editor
Find out how much help mom and dad should be contributing to the application process. https://www.collegeconfidential.com/articles/how-much-of-the-application-process-should-mom-be-doing/
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Replies to: How Much of the Application Process Should Mom Be Doing?

  • RiversiderRiversider 782 replies88 threadsRegistered User Member
    If student is competent then mom shouldn’t be doing anything other than financial aid forms. May be a proof reading when kid is ready to submit form but that’s about it.
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  • 3kids2dogs3kids2dogs 103 replies17 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    Some people are avoiders and procrastinators - that doesn't mean they don't want to do something. They may just be overwhelmed. Think about the whole industry of personal training and how many people pay other people to monitor their fitness because "I wouldn't go if I weren't paying someone/accountable to someone else."

    Sometimes it's hard to break things into reasonable chunks when you are faced with something so important and overwhelming. It just seems easier to do nothing and wait until you have "more time".

    I think it's perfectly OK to sit down with your child the summer before senior year and create a reasonable, yet flexible schedule in order to pace themselves and get things done on time without panic. I say do it in the summer because you really can't do much before August 1st for most schools, so it's all theoretical and easier to set goals. That's likely what any counselor would do - it's just organization; not content.

    I don't agree that parents should do any of the physical work - not even the easy, basic - list your grades in these courses kind of stuff. The application should be 100% applicant completed. And, truth be told - that's hard for me, because I don't mind filling out forms and it's in my nature to be "helpful". But, this isn't the health form at the eye doctor - in my mind these applications should truly belong to the student.
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  • tkoparenttkoparent 166 replies2 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    If you read the various threads on this site, it becomes clear that the answer to this question, as to so many others, is "it depends upon the kid." Some are very self-directed, some need more support. Some have more time, some have less. They will all do fine in the end, and I think it is important to keep in mind that these are also the last years the family may get to spend together as a unit and it would be a waste to spend them wrangling over applications and deadlines. It's important that the work put forward as the student's - i.e., the essays - is actually the student's work and reflects the student's ideas, and it's important that the student be willing to put the time and effort into figuring out what kind of school to pursue - but if the parents can help with identifying candidate schools and some of the purely administrative stuff, so be it. At our son's high school, they put forward a whole plan based on the idea the kid would do everything - come up with the list, maintain a detailed application notebook, etc. - but when I asked his guidance counselor, she acknowledged it almost never actually plays out like that. Not sure why they do it in that case, as it makes parents of perfectly normal kids feel like they are slacking.
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  • RiversiderRiversider 782 replies88 threadsRegistered User Member
    edited September 1
    It’s sad how helicopter parents tend to take over college admission process and force their choices on students.

    Some are driven by prestige, some by cost, some by medical/engineering career path, others doesn’t want to cut the umbilical cord and keep students at home to be a commuter. Everyone has good intentions but many want to prioritize their own agenda over kid’s dreams and interests.
    edited September 1
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  • natty1988natty1988 626 replies8 threadsRegistered User Member
    @Riversider yes, some parents do do too much, however every kid is different and some parents may need to be a little more involved...
    And some parents keep the kid at home to be commuter because that is all the family can afford....living with your parents doesn't mean they're too overprotective...
    Our family friend lived at home during college and paid her parents rent and was able to move out and live on her own right after graduation. I know plenty of kids who went away to college and still live at home after graduation....
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  • natty1988natty1988 626 replies8 threadsRegistered User Member
    @tkoparent yes it does depend on the kid. Some kids need more guidance. Some kids wouldn't get anything done without some help and reminders by the parents....
    Not every kid is magically mature at 18....
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  • rickle1rickle1 1864 replies16 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Help them get organized, if necessary. Check in to see where they are at. Proof read essays. Beyond that, it's their world.
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  • natty1988natty1988 626 replies8 threadsRegistered User Member
    edited September 2
    Parents should be up front about what they can and cannot afford before the kid applies. The kid should fill out applications obviously. Parents can proof read and help with financial stuff...
    But, obviously parents shouldn't do the applications or essays for their kids.
    If the kid needs to get scholarships to offset the costs, parents can remind their kids about that...
    edited September 2
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