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How do I explain to a coach that I changed my mind?

twang10twang10 Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
edited February 2013 in Athletic Recruits
The question is in the title. If anyone would like to give me some advice I would appreciate it so much. I'm not sure how to tell him I switched my ED2 commitment to another school without coming off as a jerk. Do I explain to him the blunt truth that I switched schools this soon? Or should I come up with a reason like it was a family decision to switch to the RD pool or something? I'm really not sure how to handle this. Thanks for helping if you can

Also, here's my detailed situation if you'd like some insight:
Applied ED1 to a selective NESCAC as a recruited athlete under the impression from the coach that my chances were very high (admissions had given him the okay to recruit me) and it was likely I'd be accepted. Things didn't pan out exactly as i had hoped and I was eventually deferred to ED2. I called the coach a couple times hoping to find an answer to some questions, he promised to talk to admissions and see what's up and call me before the week ended. Never was called back, and he didn't answer my call/voicemail until many weeks later.

I began to doubt my future at this first college, so I switched to ED2 at another selective NESCAC school that I am currently being recruited for. According to the coach at this new NESCAC school it is likely that I will be accepted (I trust him this time, this coach has had 1 on 1 meetings with admissions solely about my application and has proved he's 100% legit). Decisions coming out this monday, and I believe this coach this time.

So today the coach from the first school finally called back and left a voice mail, expressing continued interest but also acknowledged the fact that I switched to regular decision yet still wants me to wait it out. It was too little too late...
Post edited by twang10 on
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Replies to: How do I explain to a coach that I changed my mind?

  • etondadetondad Registered User Posts: 1,122 Senior Member
    Be an adult -- call and tell him that you have changed your mind. After all, no commitments were exchanged (and fulfilled on his part.) You haven't signed a letter of commitment or even gotten a likely letter. Students change their minds all the time. Coaches understand.

    Be prepared for a short telephone call. Most coaches, once you aren't coming, are no longer interested in continuing the relationship or finding out "why?". (There are notable exceptions..).
  • MGSM04MGSM04 Registered User Posts: 19 New Member
    I may have misread something but I am not aware of any NESCAC that defers EDI applicants to the EDII pool (deferrals are to RD round).

    I would wait to respond to the first coach until you have your acceptance from the EDII NESCAC on Monday. I have known a couple of kids in very similar situations (wonder if it's the same coach actually - he has a reputation for this) and both worked out as you hope... but...better safe than sorry. Don't cut ties with EDI coach until you have your acceptance. Then call and let him know. For the "life lesson" a call is better but I honestly don't think you owe the coach anything so an email would be fine.
  • twang10twang10 Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
    Thanks for the advice MGSM04. I really appreciate it that's a good idea. I can PM my deferral letter if you'd like as proof haha
  • AnchserAnchser Registered User Posts: 134 Junior Member
    Was it Wesleyan? I'm pretty sure they do that.

    As a side note, there have been MANY horror stories from recruited athletes at Wes this year (including myself). So don't get down!

    Good luck with your next choice.
  • twang10twang10 Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
    yep Anchser and thanks! I remember you from the ED1 thread man, I'm sorry to hear about your results. Did things eventually work out with another team?
  • AnchserAnchser Registered User Posts: 134 Junior Member
    Sorry to hear yours too. I applied to Hamilton ED2, which (now that I think about it) comes out on Monday too.
  • MGSM04MGSM04 Registered User Posts: 19 New Member
    I thought I was not completely understanding what you had written - didn't know that anyone deferred from EDI to EDII. Interesting they do. I hope you get good news on Monday and then you can put a little extra effort in each time you meet the other coach in competition. Good luck.
  • AnjintraderAnjintrader Registered User Posts: 117 Junior Member
    Hey Twang, did the coach get you an early read? Where he places your application before admissions and they essentially tell him if you will be in or out? Coach at ed#1 sounds fishy.
  • SteveMASteveMA Registered User Posts: 6,079 Senior Member
    Do not make ANY phone calls until you have the acceptance in hand, written. Coaches have a lot of pull, but it's still not a guarantee that you are in. Once you have that acceptance, just let the first coach know you have decided to go elsewhere. They understand, usually.
  • rebel11rebel11 - Posts: 519 Member
    I don't see that you have anything to explain. No need to make it complicated.
  • fenwaysouthfenwaysouth Registered User Posts: 988 Member
    I agree with MGSM04, SteveMA and rebel11. Wait until you have something to talk about (confirmation from school #2). It is really simple. Call the coach, and tell him you've committed to another school that has fully committed to you. You have nothing to be sorry or ashamed about. You've done everything you were asked to do. They did not come through and he will know that. Wish him well, and you'll probably see him next year. Good luck!
  • CTScoutmomCTScoutmom Registered User Posts: 1,836 Senior Member
    If the coach took that much time to get back to you, it shouldn't be unreasonable for you to take a few days to get back to him. By then you will know where you stand at the second school.
  • twang10twang10 Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
    Thank you everyone!! This was the advice and push I was looking for I really appreciate it.

    @MHGSM04 haha that was my plan, to dominate every team that turned me down

    @Anjintrader Yes I got a pre-read and was given the okay by the admissions team from ED1 school, he even read me their message after it happened. Fishy it was.

    @fenwaysouth That line about the commitment is exactly what I will tell him. Thank you!!


    Thanks again everyone, especially with the good lucks. I will make sure to wait and hopefully ED2 coach wasn't lying to me so I can make the phone call.
  • schoolhouseschoolhouse Registered User Posts: 267 Junior Member
    maybe I don't see the problem here,,,,if the coach made assertions/promised you something during the recruit process and then reneged on that once you signed/practiced or lost a year of eligibility he would think nothing of it(it's the business of college sports), so why is it any different if you as a student-athlete says coach on second thoughts I'm not feeling you, the program or the school.

    It's the business of decision-making
  • twang10twang10 Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
    I was accepted by Tufts!! and I literally just told the Wesleyan coach my new destiny.Thank you guys again! It feels good to finally be done.
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