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How to deal with recruiting situation (parent role/money/coach)

monofrunnermonofrunner Registered User Posts: 22 Junior Member
edited November 2013 in Athletic Recruits
My child has gone through athletic recruiting, has been offered full ride (academic + athletic combo package) to a private university that is not as academically elite as the other schools being considered, but that is a very good regional school--and has gone through financial pre-read with major Ivy. We know what Ivy will cost due to this, and that cost is substantial but doable. Situation is this: A D1 school that is academically elite but not an Ivy (and can therefore award athletic money) is recruiting, too, and the coach mentioned on phone to my husband that he knows what the Ivy is requiring us to pay, so he said he knows he has to match that. This elite-but-non-Ivy school happens to be our child's #1 choice now (just returned from OV and loved it!). Our dilemma is that we don't feel a degree from this school is worth as much as a degree from the well-known Ivy. We don't want to be rude and say this. The coach does not know that full ride to another school is also on the table, but we view this school as needing to come in somewhere between what the cost of the major Ivy will be and the full ride. Should we email the coach and let him know that there is also a full ride being offered, so that he is aware? He told us that our child is his #1 ranked recruit (this was several months ago), but he may tell that to all his recruits. Should we just wait and see what he offers? (It may be awhile, and the other schools are pressuring for answers; he moves very slowly.) Should we let him know that the full ride is on the table and/or that we'd expect to pay less for our child to attend his school than the Ivy? We have heard that coaches do not want to hear from parents, but the financial piece involves us, and coach indicated from the outset that he needed to have a "long discussion" with us about the finances---but he never initiated anything further, just hosted our child for an OV recently. We don't want to make a wrong move here, not sure what is polite and/or how to be assertive without seeming obnoxious. We realize things could change on a dime.....
Post edited by monofrunner on

Replies to: How to deal with recruiting situation (parent role/money/coach)

  • sherpasherpa Registered User Posts: 4,817 Senior Member
    We have heard that coaches do not want to hear from parents...
    When it comes to the "business negotiation" side of recruiting, it is appropriate for parents to be directly involved.
  • mortgagebkrmortgagebkr Registered User Posts: 91 Junior Member
    Could not agree more - yes we let our S do all of the communicating, but in the end we did not want anything to be "misunderstood"

    Pick up the phone and call the coach. I would also find out how long his offer is good for. because if your S is not going to take it he needs to offer it to somone else
  • SwimkidsdadSwimkidsdad Registered User Posts: 616 Member

    What is the status of the offer from the Ivy League school? Has your S been offered full support with admissions in the form of a Likely Letter? The deadline for ED/SCEA has passed so it is important to know how much support the IL coach is willing to provide with admissions.
  • fenwaysouthfenwaysouth Registered User Posts: 988 Member

    Congrats on the offers and interest. I think you'll find most sought after Ivy recruits were also recruited by private elite D1 athletic scholarship type schools. Basically they are after the same kind of kid. Other less sought after D1s can load your son up with athletic and academic scholarship, and I think you will also find a lot of sought after ivy athletes have been down this path too. We have been there and done that as part of our due diligence. Ultimately, it may come down to what is most important to your son and family situation. In the end, we chose the best academic school for his major. This may or may not be the best answer for you, but ultimately you are going to chose between academic, athletic or financial priorities. If it was me, I would not share the information about the less sought after D1 because it is not relevant against the two other elite academic schools.....it is not in the same class as the other two. Again, I think it is most important to figure out what is best for your family and then pursue that opportunity. JMO.

    As others have indicated, call the coach regarding the business side so there are no misunderstandings. Good luck!

    Good luck
  • stemitstemit Registered User Posts: 575 Member
    ^agree with fenway.

    I'd add this: unless the sport has a pro future, look at employment prospects for graduates. My S plays a sport which has a pro future and he was even drafted out of HS, but his career did not develop in a way which assures even a crack at that level. He had college middle of the pack grades and (due in large part to the school and his athletic experience) just accepted a job offer paying far in excess of the COA at his Ivy. Our "what's the worst that can happen" scenario played out and the result demonstrated that (for him) the highest academic school was the wisest choice (it was doable financially but not cheap even with FA).
  • monofrunnermonofrunner Registered User Posts: 22 Junior Member
    Thanks for your replies -- all very helpful. We will contact the coach and be direct. Swimkidsdad, yes, the ED deadline came and went and our child could not commit anywhere at that point, was just not ready or far enough along emotionally to decide. One school is very far away (the ivy), whereas the others are closer to home. The 2 elite school coaches have agreed to support her through regular decision and admissions did a pre-read, but there are no guarantees. Mortgagebkr, the less elite school would like an answer soon but has promised to not give the money away without notice, which is nice of them. We are in a holding pattern due to this one school with the less communicative, less aggressive coach. If it weren't for it now being 1st choice, things would be easier.
  • BoondocksBoondocks Registered User Posts: 321 Member
    There’s nothing wrong with a parent calling a coach, as long as the parent doesn’t seem to be completely taking charge of the situation or becoming demanding/obnoxious. Coaches recruit parents as much as they recruit student-athletes. This is for good reason, because I asked my father for advice when I was making my final decision 35 years ago. My college roommate, who has recently had two daughters go to Division I schools, one to an Ivy and one to an above average but not elite college on an athletic scholarship, had significant interaction with the coaches as his daughters went through the process.

    Don’t be afraid to put all the cards on the table, including the full ride. You can gently mention that the full ride school is not the first choice, but also say that it is hard to ignore a full ride. You can certainly ask if he can bring his price below the Ivy school’s price. Don’t worry about having to be rude and saying directly that the Ivy school has a better reputation. If that coach’s school does not have as powerful a reputation of the Ivy school, you won’t have to say it, because he already knows it.

    One side note: On first blush, I would say if your child’s first choice is a school that is elite-but-not-Ivy, then that is probably where you want your child to go. The Ivy school is not worth more if your son or daughter would rather be somewhere else, and your child’s reasoning seems seems sensible (other than something like, “I want to go to Other University because it’s close to the ocean or because it has the hottest girls/guys.”)

    I’m on the hiring side, and if the school is elite, but not Ivy, very few employers will make a distinction. I’m not sure what your definition of elite is, but resumes from freshly-minted grads/42-year-old grads of Northwestern, Stanford, Vanderbilt, Duke, Georgetown or Notre Dame (and I’m missing a number of others) are not routinely cast aside in favor of grads from the eight Ivy schools. Don’t think that the Ivy is the best place just because it’s an Ivy (and I graduated from Princeton).

    Of course, you should try to get as much as possible from the non-Ivy elite school.
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