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OVs and Parents

fogfogfogfog 3868 replies188 threads Senior Member
edited December 2013 in Athletic Recruits
Wanted to post an observation from K2 who came back from an OV

K2 mentioned that there were parents in attendance to an initial meeting---
AND how the parents asked all of the questions...instead of letting it be about the athletes.

K2 was glad to be on the OV alone to hang with the team etc and said it seemed awkward for the kids whose parents came. Also noted that the parents were an obstacle to the athletes participating...

We had seen all of the schools with K2 beforehand (over the last 2 years) so the trip was about "fit" as it had already been "vetted" to be on the list. K2 handled all of the travel etc with the coach

Just a thought when parents consider whether to go or to let their students fly/visit alone....your presence not only impacts your student's vision to imagine being there alone--it can interfere with other athletes and their OV.
edited December 2013
59 replies
Post edited by fogfog on
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Replies to: OVs and Parents

  • sherpasherpa 4898 replies97 threads Senior Member
    I fully agree. Letting go and letting the kids handle the OV is easy if parents and student have already visited the colleges unofficially, as fogfog did.
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  • MAswim2014MAswim2014 17 replies1 threads New Member
    I agree too. Our son visited 4 D3 schools this fall and we bought him a plane ticket and dropped him at the airport each time. We accompanied him to a few unofficial visits his junior year but now is the time for him to decide and parents can be distracting for the entire group.

    One of his OVs was "parent weekend" at the college and he felt that the classes he attended were more geared towards the parents in the back of the room than the actual students. This was a turnoff to him which was a little disappointing.
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  • SamuraiLandsharkSamuraiLandshark 3428 replies22 threads Senior Member
    I always thought it was strange to hear about parents going with child on OV's when recruited.

    I did not attend - with exception of local junior day where parents were encouraged, and it was local. Did not attend when D invited back for OV was a senior.
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  • dvader123dvader123 29 replies2 threads Junior Member
    Sorry. I just need more info regarding this topic. Why would it be strange if a parent went along with the student/child?

    That student is still under 18. It's not like he/she is going for a visit to meet faculty for graduate, medical, or law school? By then a parent coming along would be weird.
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  • SamuraiLandsharkSamuraiLandshark 3428 replies22 threads Senior Member

    My kid was a minor when going to college, too, but the reality was that she needed to stand on her own two feet when talking to the coach. If I had been there, I am not sure it would have helped her, or inspire confidence in her abilities with coach.

    For example, the head or assistant coach picks up recruit at airport. It might be a short trip back to campus, or a ling one. This gives them time to assess recruit's ability to handle stressful situation and give coach insight into maturity level if recruit. They are looking for athletes that will fit in with their program, academically, athletically and socially.

    Every team dynamic is different. For schools that are far away from airport, I know a recruit flew across country and took shuttle to campus. She met coach when she got there. They had coffee before heading to campus. Coach assessing player's fit to team.

    If you go on a recruit trip, you need to give him/her space, not dominate conversation and almost disappear into woodwork, IMO. .
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  • RowmomRowmom 95 replies0 threads Junior Member
    I wondered about this too before my kid did 4 OVs in September. Based on his description of what transpired and the individual and group discussions with the coaches, it would have been 'different' if I had been there. I think that both the schools and my son learned what they needed to learn by dealing with him on his own much better than if I had been there. In all cases the coaches were fully responsible and attentive and made sure the recruits were taken care of from the moment they exited the plane to reboarding it to go home.
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  • stemitstemit 544 replies31 threads Member
    Ill add my thoughts.

    First and foremost, the OV is a sales presentation. A sales presentation done by experts. A song and dance designed to "wow" a senior in HS. Not a terribly difficult thing to do to most young people.

    The athletic accomplishments of these talented young people has been a family endeavor. As the kids advanced in skill and age each gradually became more and more self-motivated and needed less and less pushing. But I would venture to speculate that most families have spent a lot of money on developing the skills that culminate in the fortunate few becoming recruited athletes. As these talented kids aged, we drew back from day-to-day "management;" we didn't speak with the coaches as much as when they were younger, they could drive to practices and games and take control, etc.

    But that control only goes so far to a kid not yet finished with HS.

    I would not send my child to make a decision about spending $250,000 in money his mother and I accumulated (or would borrow) without being absolutely certain that all my questions were answered. Those questions include, but are not limited to: what majors are plausible (not anecdotal stories that "player A majored in nuclear chemistry and won the Nobel prize"); what are the financial issues (by setting up a meeting with FA); what academic support is, or is not, made available to athletes; and other such questions that a 17 year old cannot possibly be expected to ask, understand the answer, and/or absorb the implications, etc.

    I would send my child alone to speak to a coach, teammates, practices, evaluate facilities, parties and whatever other dog and pony show is on the agenda.

    So, I separate the stuff the athlete can realistically do on their own, from the things they are not yet - simply due to their lack of life experience - able to fully comprehend.
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  • RowmomRowmom 95 replies0 threads Junior Member
    Reading Stemit's comments (and he gave me valuable advice during my kid's recruitment) I have to add that for us, much of what he suggests parents should know was discussed and cleared by the parents during summer Unofficial Visits. So, the Official Visits my son selected were already vetted for the important stuff. We already had financial pre-reads (we only looked at Ivy schools), had researched majors and programs, done the school tour, and asked the hard questions of the coaches - 'what number am I on your list? and How many Likelies do you get? etc.' I would have been concerned if my 17 year old was going to the school for the first time at the OV and had never researched it, visited it, talked to students currently attending, and if we had no idea of the cost to attend.

    Before the OVs, my son was prepared to attend any of the four - and we were prepared to send him. The OV was validation of what we already knew and a final academic and athletic review for fit. We were also in contact throughout the OVs if anything new came up, which it did not.
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  • SamuraiLandsharkSamuraiLandshark 3428 replies22 threads Senior Member
    My daughter discussed all of those points with coaches at unofficial visits, phone or emails before official visits, as well. We gave her input on what to ask, but let her handle those issues and she discussed with coach.
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  • ChicagoMamaChicagoMama 225 replies12 threads Junior Member
    I have to say, if we had a situation were we had to put our son on a plane, the decision process might have been different.

    Being within driving distance makes a big difference.
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  • zebradomezebradome 78 replies8 threads Junior Member
    I had no plans of attending my D's OV when she went back in Oct. The coach mentioned something to her in an email about her parents attending. She specifically asked if they should attend and he said yes. OVs are not cut and dry and not all handled the same by every college. I ended up attending the OV. My D stayed on campus and I stayed in a hotel downtown. We met up at certain times over the weekend, but she was mainly on her own. I was there for the meeting at the end when she was offered her scholarship. That was the only part I really wanted to be in attendence for. I did not feel out of place and I do not think that I made D feel out of place.
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  • mortgagebkrmortgagebkr 85 replies6 threads Junior Member
    There are some excellent points made here - the finaciall one made by Stemit is excellent as we all know.

    I would hope though that when you get down to picking your 5 for OV's you have already done the "grunt work" researched it out. I think the OV's is just as amuch a feeling out process for the potential recruit as it is for the current members of the team. remember the current team is going to give feedback to the coach as to what kind of "fit" your son or daughter is.

    My S took 3 OV's and we used 3 different methods of travel, 1 school flew him to them 1picked him from a ferry and the other we drove him. Only 1 did we sit in on and that was the one we drove up to - and that was for the closing meeting.

    To be fair we had already visited all 3 schools on unofficial visits and had met the coaches previously. In the end he chose his 2nd OV (the school that flew him) he loved 2 schools the same but one was almost $10k cheaper and that could not be ignored
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  • ahsmuohahsmuoh 1309 replies37 threads Senior Member
    This conversation is very interesting and informative. Our s15 is being recruited for swimming by schools that are a plane ride away and we have only done one unofficial visit to meet with a coach. We drove him to the meeting - did a regular tour and then met with the coach. But, I will say that the coach spent almost 2 hours with us but my dh and I had one impression and my son had another at the end of the meeting. While we all enjoyed the coach and liked the program, dh and I saw the "sales" part of the coach and ds didn't. He is 16 years old so he takes it all as a compliment. We believe the coach said things to ds (like "you will definitely travel your freshman year") that he probably shouldn't have said - how in the world would he know that talking to a junior when their recruiting class was not complete for the seniors! Now, if you looked at the current roster he would be in the travel team but you never know!

    So, anyway, I do not want to go on OV's with son (and he does not want us to either) but I can't imagine allowing my son to sign a NLI without meeting the coach. So, I hope that in person meetings will be made available at some point (either at big meets or home/practice visits).

    Have any of you had a child sign a NLI without meeting the coaches?
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  • SamuraiLandsharkSamuraiLandshark 3428 replies22 threads Senior Member
    My D signed an NLI without meeting head coach. I had met asst coach and spoke briefly, once.

    I did hear what coach said to her on recruiting phone calls a few times. We also discussed with other parents whose kids were already in program, so we knew what to expect.
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  • OnTrack2013OnTrack2013 246 replies5 threads Junior Member
    My son went on 2 D1 OVs, and one D3 info day and a parent went to all. We did not see these schools prior to the OVs. He was offered 5 OVs but made his choice after the second. The schools we went to look at in junior year were no longer in the mix senior year. He was offered OVs starting in late Jan and signed late Feb. and we did not have time to make multiple trips with different family members before answers were due. All schools were a flight away and he was also still a minor.

    Dollars were discussed at both D1 visits and we were glad a parent was there. However, we did not stay with him the whole time, just where it was clear from the itinerary that a parent was invited. Most of the time he was off on his own with his student host. There was a designated time for parents to talk to both the head coach and event coach, so my son did not sign without us meeting his coach first. But had we not gone to the OV, we would not have met them. My son had been observed in a couple of big meets, so they were there and we were there, but coaches never came over to us at any event until after he signed.
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  • LawMom6LawMom6 53 replies3 threads Junior Member
    There was no way I was going to put my 16 year old girl on a plane across the country by herself to discuss financial matters with a coach. I accompanied her on the OV, but knew when to keep my mouth shut and when to make myself scarce. When the coach made the verbal offer, it was directly to me when my D was not even within earshot.
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  • varskavarska 1406 replies24 threads Senior Member
    ^16 years old going on an OV?
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  • momof2010momof2010 398 replies9 threads Member
    ^It's possible, I did not turn 17 till late Nov senior year high school^
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  • varskavarska 1406 replies24 threads Senior Member
    Come to think of it I started Sr year at 16, too. Just seems unusual now.
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  • SamuraiLandsharkSamuraiLandshark 3428 replies22 threads Senior Member
    Like all other things, your mileage may vary. My kid was 16 for her OV's.

    I was honestly less worried about any coach interactions with her about salesmanship or money or whatnot than I was about who was hosting her for visit.

    At one of her visits, she was offered large quantities of alcohol and brought to a frat party. Fortunately she was amart enough to decline. She also did not end up going there, mostly because she got impression that would be standard, typical team bonding activity and she was bot into it.

    If we were confised in least about money offers, my H and I would have contacted coach. It was very clear what was being offered. In terms of playing time, coaches will always say one thing and then do whatever they see fit duing season that they think will benefit the eam. Regardless of it mom or dad are sitting in meetings at unofficials or officials.
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