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More D3 Disasters

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Replies to: More D3 Disasters

  • FauxNomFauxNom Registered User Posts: 1,220 Senior Member
    Thanks you guys! This has been a fun and supportive group. Good luck to anyone who is still waiting!
  • TheGFGTheGFG Registered User Posts: 6,219 Senior Member
    Congratulations, FauxNom and D! Pomona is a superb school. You should be very proud of both of you. Your fellow CCer's know how hard the process was!
  • vballmomvballmom Registered User Posts: 3,135 Senior Member
    Congrats to your D, FauxNom, Pomona is an excellent school.

    My son and I spoke to the coach there for my son's sport, and he (the coach) left us with the strong impression that he could influence my son's admission to Pitzer. My son has since decided not to apply so we can't test out the hypothesis of the coach's influence - it's very hard to know for sure.
  • scarabicscarabic Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
    Oldbatsie brings up a good issue. How do you deal with the overly optimistic "rose colored" glasses coach who is, after all, trying to keep as many prospects in play as possible. I guess our message, at least for us this was true, get personnally in touch and stay in touch. Best thing is to personally meet the coach, the old look them in the eye deal. And it should NOT be a parent, it should be the athlete. Its hard for a 17 year old, but don't be shy. And be truthful with them as well. D was choosing between three schools and told each coach what was going on. If you like one most, tell them that. If you are considering another school or two, tell them, and tell them which ones (the coaches know each other and can verify so don't fib...)

    One real problem is that when its the D/S dealing with the coach, it is hard to know what was really said. Teenagers often hear what they want to hear, so this is a tricky element to the process for sure. I found that making sure that she asked simple direct questions reduced that problem somewhat.
  • fauvefauve Registered User Posts: 3,515 Senior Member
    Asking questions via email is also an effective method for the student-athlete to get an honest read from a coach. While coaches might sugar-coat private conversations, we found when asked queries online, their answers were much more measured.

    Congratulations to OldBatesieDoc, Scarabi, and FauxNom, and families for their happy acceptance news! I've been out of town, and delighted now to see the latest good news. Is there any better holiday gift than a YES by Christmas/Hannukuh/Kwansaa ?
  • 3xboys3xboys Registered User Posts: 319 Member
    Absolutely agree, fauve. Emails give the student and the coach time to consider each other's words carefully.

    And yes, CONGRATULATIONS to all our CC athletes who are IN!
  • ihs76ihs76 Registered User Posts: 1,866 Senior Member
    The title of the thread is apt for us. DS was just deferred at both of his EA D3 schools. One we expected, the other less so. The second coach had asked him to apply EA and asked him for a commitment to attend which he gave. Sigh. After thinking about things so much, DS had become really attached to the second school and really wanted to go there. Scores and stats are within mid 50 percentile. He e-mailed he coach last night, haven't heard back.
  • sherpasherpa Registered User Posts: 4,703 Senior Member
    ^sorry to hear that, ihs76. I'd been wondering and meaning to PM you to ask. Hang in there.
  • 3xboys3xboys Registered User Posts: 319 Member
    ihs76, so sorry to hear that. That seems awfully shabby for a coach to ask a kid to apply and for a commitment to attend when he knows there may well be a good chance that the EA app won't be successful. Hang in there, indeed. It's a long road.
  • OldbatesieDocOldbatesieDoc Registered User Posts: 2,056 Senior Member
    Oh ihs, so sorry for you and your son. What a painful process! And other people think it's so easy...No likely letter, so nothing to hold on to.
    My S cried after the first coach told him "things have changed". He did everything as scarabic said. It was really because I had made a connection (as mother of a teen boy)with the assistant coach that this very enthusiastic, honest looking person "fessed up".
    And ALL the e-mails were just as enthusiastic. I really think that he didn't mean to lead S astray, but didn't think enough about the consequences for my S if he did. And as I said before, he actually told me-"I'd call the other coach and recom your S myself, but I don't want him playing against us!" That is when I went ballistic...
  • mayhewmayhew Registered User Posts: 643 Member
    OldBatsie, I cannot even imagine how irked I would be by the "I'd help but we don't want him playing against us" line after all that you had gone through with this coach - truly, what insensitivity, and what nerve....

    ihs76 - I am so, so sorry to hear what your S is going through - how frustrating, confusing and painful. I am really disappointed that coach #2 has yet to email your S back too - seems cowardly after giving him such definite encouragement, and knowing what you and your son must have read from his "apply early, commit to me" presentation. Baffling.
  • ihs76ihs76 Registered User Posts: 1,866 Senior Member
    Mayhew

    Yes, the silence is a bit baffling and frustrating. For now, I'm assuming the coach is off for the holidays or something of that sort. Otherwise, it's a hard way for a still trusting and pretty naive 16 year old to learn the ways of the world.
  • monstor344monstor344 Registered User Posts: 2,502 Senior Member
    I wouldn't even call it naive. If a coach wants to break off the recruiting process somewhere along the road, fine. Not at the final step; that is just wrong, in anyone's eyes. Sorry about your son ihs76 :( hope this all turns out OK.
  • riverrunnerriverrunner Registered User Posts: 2,715 Senior Member
    ihs, so sorry about this limbo you're now in.

    Maybe an optimistic interpretation of the silence is that the coach is also baffled, and maybe embarrassed by this turn of events and is waiting to call until he can give you some concrete (maybe even positive or encouraging) feedback.

    Advice: try for some healthy distractions together, at least until after the holidays. After all, this is your last true holiday with your child home for an extended time. Enjoy him. Many of us find our kids are suddenly full of other plans, once they leave home, even in the first or second year away!

    Keep checking in.
  • royal73royal73 Registered User Posts: 275 Junior Member
    ihs -- as disappointing as this is, it's deferred, not denied, and there's still a chance for admission RD. A few friends of my son had surprising deferrals from a top D1 school, with one boy being a nationally ranked athlete, recruited by the coach, and a top student to boot. Another had coach support, too, and also was comfortably w/in the mid-50% academic stats of the college. The EA process is a bit baffling to me from the standpoint of the school. What does it really have to gain if it is bound but the student is not? Another athlete's parent, an alum of that D1 school, says only the truly outstanding applicants at that school are accepted EA and that the colleges use the process to get a good idea of what the applicant pool is like. The three boys deferred EA from S's school are likely to be accepted RD I think. So, the deferral of your son may be more a statement of what EA is about than anything else, and if he really wants to go there, it may turn out okay in the end, though obviously he needs to pursue other opportunities and/or try to mend any bridges singed in the process. Good luck!
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