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official visits and related questions

wilberry228wilberry228 Registered User Posts: 396 Member
edited August 2010 in Athletic Recruits
Does anyone else feel like there isn't enough time? My daughter heard from one of her LACs that she got the green light from admissions so she was invited for an OV, which will be her third. This is one she's really interested in, but we had another visit last week where she also really liked the school and she committed at one which we haven't seen yet based on its reputation. There is one more school she'd like to visit, but it's ivy and she hasn't been invited although the coach has called a few times.

This all sounds like good news, but I feel like the weekends are filling up and I also feel like we haven't had enough time for unofficial visits. With practices and competitions and school all year, and then she unexpectedly got a full time job this summer, on top of practices and competitions (forget about the summer AP packets) I just don't feel like we gave some schools a fair chance! Her days off have been filled with the mundane, like summer sports physicals, catching up on errands, and getting ready for sports-related trips (she leaves for another in two days).

And another question for the veterans: when do the schools usually let you know if they are offering you any sort of package? Usually before November, or do you wait till then? And is it advisable to apply early (the non-binding way) so that your application will be in if you decide to accept any of these offers? I'm getting more anxious now!

Oh, one last question. I assume on the unofficial visits, it is OK for the parents to sit in. I did this at our visits last week, which were our first with coaches, although my daughter and husband had some contact a couple of weeks ago at her competition. This doesn't make me a 'helicopter mom,' does it? I think she wanted me there just to get a first impression. She carries on all the correspondence herself and obviously will go the OVs alone. When is the parent supposed to separate and when is it OK to be there?

Thanks all!
Post edited by wilberry228 on
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Replies to: official visits and related questions

  • 3togo3togo Registered User Posts: 5,233 Senior Member
    edited August 2010
    if you share the sport(s) involved you likely will get much more specific and helpful answers ... the NCAA guidelines and the "typical" timing vary by sport.
  • mayhewmayhew Registered User Posts: 643 Member
    ^^^wilberry228 - I totally understand about the weekends filling up. My daughter has committed to 5 OVs, but she has also been told by a couple of coaches that more than 3 is sort of excessive (as in, affecting high school life and academics, plus their feeling was that you should have fewer schools that you "love". I don't really have an opinion on that). I don't know how she will pare this list down. With a scholarship school, I have no experience but I imagine that might be touched upon around the OV, and when they say they'll support the athlete's application?

    Regarding going along on the unofficials, I did exactly what you are doing and it was totally fine, and actually very helpful for both my daughter and me. Two pairs of ears, two perspectives, we each heard things the other didn't, etc. My daughter has done, and continues to do, all of the correspondence. The vast majority of dialogue on these visits was between my daughter and the coach, and I pretty much only spoke when spoken to - these meetings were not about me!

    It sounds like everything is going well! Good luck!
  • wilberry228wilberry228 Registered User Posts: 396 Member
    Thanks mayhew ... I didn't think I was doing the wrong thing at that point, but then I read a thread about 'helicopter moms' and thought, "wow! don't want to be one of those !!" It was very hard for me to keep my mouth shut at the meetings and try to let it be my daughter's show. I think I did a good job, but if it got awkward, I did try to give the conversation a little jump-start.

    3togo, hers is an 'equivalency sport' so there aren't special guidelines that apply to her. I stop short of naming the sport although I also don't try too hard to disguise it. I guess it may be silly, but I do try to protect her anonymity to some degree!
  • fauvefauve Registered User Posts: 3,515 Senior Member
    Wilberry- I suggest you have your daughter do a lot of reading on the colleges' cultures so she can do her OV as a well-informed shopper. The Insiders Guide is a good source of student opinion on the gist of the schools (written and researched by students).

    Four OVs will really up the pressure of her fall commitments. Be sure her academics, as well as her health, can handle the OV travel time, lack of sleep, and inevitable college parties. (Pack vitamins!)
  • wilberry228wilberry228 Registered User Posts: 396 Member
    Thanks fauve, we have been reading up as much as we can, and she has been talking to people a lot too - she works with a lot of older teens and 20-somethings and almost everyone knows someone who has gone to (or goes to) the schools she is looking at. A couple of them are very close by - the farthest will be a plane ride and THAT will be exhausting. Thanks for the vitamin tip, though .. and actually she only has three scheduled so far! I have already told her I do not think she should do five.

    I've been looking through comments on a couple of websites - they offer some insight as well. We ran into someone today who told us she had almost signed with one school but at the last minute changed her mind and was going somewhere else. A voice from the side said (of the school she did end up signing with) "I went there. I left!" So I guess not every school is for everybody. My hope is that these official visits will result in a good fit and then after November, she can focus on school and practices for the rest of the year.

    College parties! Strike fear in my heart!
  • authorauthor Registered User Posts: 336 Member
    wilberry typed:
    " This is one she's really interested in,
    but we had another visit last week where
    she also really liked the school and

    she committed

    at one which we haven't seen yet
    based on its reputation."

    Coaches have grapevines.
    If your dd committed, they probably know.
    Why clog up official visit limits when the student has already made a choice.

    Integrity needs to run on a two way street.

    If we commit and still look by taking more official visits.... should we wonder why .... player's commitments .... poof................ disappear.
    Is our word a bond?
    Do we aid a sport culture to breed integrity issues?
  • fishymomfishymom Registered User Posts: 1,849 Senior Member
    Read the original post again. She is talking about her daughter committing to another official visit, not verballing.
  • Cardinal16Cardinal16 Registered User Posts: 142 Junior Member
    Nothing wrong with taking OV while committed, as long as you let the coach know your committed. I plan on missing some school and getting out to Cali and Florida for free lol. And who knows, you could change your mind.
  • fauvefauve Registered User Posts: 3,515 Senior Member
    Wilberry- Sorry to paint such an image in your already stressed psyche! Strike all such ideas immediately AND recite riot act to DD nightly before her first OV departure! ;)
  • wilberry228wilberry228 Registered User Posts: 396 Member
    Fauve, it's too late! Done! ;-)

    Sigh, but it's OK. I just put that part in the back of my mind, of course I know it's there. She is pretty level headed, hopefully can stay that way at least through this part of the process, if not beyond.

    Sorry about the use of the word 'committed' - I thought of changing it at the time but then I reread and thought it made sense. I guess I should have changed it to 'accepted.'

    I also had a thought to check the HS calendar and see if I can work any of those Jewish holidays into the OV weekends. That way at least there won't be any missed days of school. I don't know if the timing is right, but it seems like our public schools are closed for half of September sometimes; wouldn't it be nice if one of the days off was on one of the weekends?
  • zeinXzeinX Registered User Posts: 134 Junior Member
    It IS incredibly stressful taking many trips, so your daughter needs to consider exactly how seriously she is interested in each school. If she is seriously considering all 5, then let her take the trips- just make certain that she informs her teachers, gets any work in advance (can do it on the plane, etc.) and so on. Unfortunately not all teachers are 100% understanding, but many are.

    I personally signed up for 4 visits because I had narrowed it down already. Two of my top four were Ivies, and I was positive I would end up at one of them (I did), but until after my trips I wasn't sure which one. The other two were backups, and I even canceled my fourth and final trip, which was to one of my less-preferred schools, because I had already decided on Princeton beyond a shadow of a doubt. Three trips was PLENTY for me. I got sick after the first one, and for the next two consecutive weekends I had the tail-end of that illness clinging on- not to mention missing even more school because I felt horrible!

    Anyway, advise your daughter to seriously consider, as much as she can without visiting, which schools she is most seriously interested in. She should be able to get a general feel for facilities before even visiting- many schools have abundant pictures and information about their athletic facilities, and you can usually find video on Youtube or the like. If facilities play a part in her decision, this is good, and the process can be repeated for other stuff- background research on coaches, etc. She can already form an opinion as to which school has the best facilities, and so on, which will play a part in her ultimate decision depending upon how your daughter personally ranks schools. This research before a visit is not intended to "judge without experiencing" but it can help to make up for the emotional in-the-moment-appeal of schools (some athletes commit DURING a trip due to this) and should be a part of the process regardless.
  • wilberry228wilberry228 Registered User Posts: 396 Member
    Thanks Zein,

    She is very interested in the three she's already signed up for, so i don't worry about her 'wasting' a visit per se. Never thought of committing on the spot, I'll have to tell her to make sure NOT to do that !!

    The facility is somewhat important but it can't be all - for example, during a recent visit one school had an absolutely beautiful facility and the other's was just so-so. But the second school has a more comfortable feel to it, and she felt she could better see herself there. So that's why I think the OV will be a big help.

    Congratulations on Princeton. A beautiful school, and obviously top rate. Good luck !!
  • authorauthor Registered User Posts: 336 Member
    Thanks fishymom.

    Sorry for my jump to conclusions, wilberry.
    Reading committed only equaled one thing to me.


    Yes, Cardinal, you may go on officials after "committing".

    When we continue to shop schools .... coach will be continuing to shop too.
  • MereMomMereMom Registered User Posts: 678 Member
    "When we continue to shop schools .... coach will be continuing to shop too."

    An excellent point - and one to keep in mind at all times when talking to coaches.
  • fishymomfishymom Registered User Posts: 1,849 Senior Member
    I don't understand the point of committing to attend a school and then taking official visits to other schools. The point of committing is to secure a spot for the athlete on the team's roster and to take the athlete out of the pool of potential recruits for other teams. It is like an engagement. Is it ok to date and have sleepovers with other girlfriends/boyfriends while engaged? I mean, you might find someone you like better and change your mind. But what is the point of getting engaged then.

    The same goes for committing to attend a school. If you continue to shop schools/teams, then your commitment means nothing. This hurts the whole process of recruiting. I can understand the need for a backup plan until a likely letter or NLOI is in place. But If a coach commits a roster spot to you in good faith and you commit to attend the school, to continue to take official visits, even if the other coaches are aware that you have committed, makes me question the integrity of those involved.
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