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Should I Apply ED to Brown?

hellodarknesshellodarkness 8 replies3 threads New Member
edited January 11 in Brown University
Okay, so Brown is my favorite school that I've looked at so far. I know the ED acceptance rate is significantly higher than the RD acceptance rate. But I have two problems.

1. My parents don't like the idea of making a commitment to a school that might not offer the best aid possible. We're a middle-class family already paying for expensive private schooling for three kids, so we really can't afford much. I could probably convince them if it came down to it, but it wouldn't be easy.

2. I'm in a serious relationship and don't want to go to school too far from him (I'd say an hour and a half max). He also wants to go to Brown if possible, and has stats very close to mine (a little below), and we both want to stay in the Northeast (for us, that means New England + New York).

I just want to get other opinions about what I should do. Note: our school has a good relationship with Brown and sends a couple students every year, so it's not unprecedented at all for two of us to get in.

This is not an invitation for anyone to criticize my personal life or try to convince me that I shouldn't let my relationship impact my college choice. There are plenty amazing colleges in the area to which we can go. If you are going to offer me advice, please work with the situation I have instead of trying to change it.

Thanks!
edited January 11
16 replies
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Replies to: Should I Apply ED to Brown?

  • Mwfan1921Mwfan1921 3307 replies62 threads Senior Member
    What does Brown's NPC estimate your cost to be? https://npc.collegeboard.org/app/brown

    Is that affordable for you and your family? Note the NPC may not be accurate if your parents are divorced, derive most income from their own business, and/or have significant real estate assets.

    If the NPC doesn't look to be affordable, don't apply....ED or RD.
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  • hellodarknesshellodarkness 8 replies3 threads New Member
    @Mwfan1921 We'd be able to afford it. My mom is out of town so I don't have access to everything necessary for the calculator but I've done the less specific one and we'd be able to manage it. We also have some familial factors that may get the cost reduced. However, my parents want to shop around for the best price, which is the difficult part of convincing them.
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  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 8737 replies82 threads Senior Member
    If you need to compare financial aid packages and merit offers, do not apply ED anywhere.
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  • tdy123tdy123 1038 replies18 threads Senior Member
    @hellodarkness If there are 10 Commandments of applying to colleges, one of them would be:

    Thou shalt not apply ED unless your parents have clearly expressed that they are ready willing and able to pay in full.

    Reading your other threads, here are a couple more that apply:

    Thous shalt not let your HS boyfriend/girlfriend/SOs college plans influence your college plans.

    Thou shalt not count on a significantly higher SAT as compared to your PSAT until you actually have the grade report in hand.

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  • hellodarknesshellodarkness 8 replies3 threads New Member
    @tdy123 I understand about parent willingness. I think that's a conversation we'd need to have together because I haven't previously expressed much interest in applying ED, so we haven't very seriously talked about it, except for a few passing comments.

    Regarding my relationship, I have no doubt that we would be able to manage a long distance relationship. My primary fear is regarding my mental health issues. I am a recovering anorexic, and I also deal with anxiety and major depression. While I am medicated and in recovery, I still have episodes, particularly in the winter. Historically, he is the only one able to manage all of those. None of my friends know the extent of my issues, and my parents have threatened to send me to inpatient programs (many of which are really, really bad), so I tell them stuff more on a need-to-know basis. He and I have talked extensively about managing this in college, especially regarding the lack of parental supervision of my food intake. It would just be a lot easier if we could see each other more, and we could monitor each other (he does have a mild-to-moderate depressive disorder that occasionally rears its head).

    Note: While yes, I do still deal with mental illness, I'm not suicidal at all anymore, even during my worst episodes, which are growing shorter and less common. I am getting the proper treatment with medication and therapy and my support group. Please don't be my grandmother and judge what I should/should not be doing--my current set-up has sped my treatment up immensely and I feel it is the best I could be doing right now.

    With my SAT scores, those were based on several practice tests I took under SAT conditions. I apologize for not making that clear. I recently got my junior PSATs back and they reflect my predicted scores.
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  • LindagafLindagaf 9903 replies538 threads Senior Member
    Your parents have “threatened” to send you to inpatient programs. And you are assuming they will pay for an expensive private college that is very unlikely to give you the financial aid you need, because you believe your parents can afford it.

    I think you need to be discussing things with your parents and not random strangers on the internet. As a parent myself, you should be aware that the people who have your best interests at heart, always, are your parents. Your parents have other children to consider too, and they want what’s best for you and the rest of the family.
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  • h8annahh8annah 208 replies25 threads Junior Member
    If you don't know if your parents will 100% pay for Brown, you're in a hole, especially if they do have the money to afford it (would be very difficult to get out of ED agreement like this). ED is like a contract; if you get admitted, you attend. There's always a level of chance; by applying, you are accepting an offer to the school without knowing anything about the financial aid or anything. You or your parents aren't going to be able to compare financial aid, merit scholarships, etc. by applying ED to one institution. If they aren't willing to pay their expected contribution, you will end up in a lot of debt presumably, and paying that off might be very stressful. It seems liek your parents may not be entirely willing--but what do I know?; you should talk with them.

    If you build up a strong application, you could have just as good of chance in RD than ED. And if you don't get in, there are plenty of strong colleges in the Northeast that you can apply to and look into--URochester, BC, BU, Wesleyan, Smith, etc. and they might end up being a lot more affordable than Brown.

    I think you need to talk to your parents and see what they expect to contribute and compare it to the NPC.

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  • DeeCee36DeeCee36 69 replies4 threads Junior Member
    edited January 14
    Short answer: no.

    Longer answer, while there a number of reasons, IMO, why this is not a good idea, the most important one is simply that your parents haven't committed to paying for it. As @tdy123 noted, "Thou shalt not apply ED unless your parents have clearly expressed that they are ready willing and able to pay in full."


    edited January 14
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  • h8annahh8annah 208 replies25 threads Junior Member
    I also want to add that applying ED probably won't make up for a really low SAT score, GPA, etc. or any shortcoming on your application.
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  • TheBigChefTheBigChef 666 replies6 threads Member
    "I know the ED acceptance rate is significantly higher than the RD acceptance rate."

    The ED acceptance rate is roughly 3x higher than the RD acceptance rate at Brown. But that doesn't mean that OP herself has a 3x greater chance of getting into Brown if she applies ED, not by a long shot. A big chunk of those ED slots go to applicants in different buckets from OP (recruited athletes, URM's, internationals, first generation, development, celebrities, children of faculty etc ...). For an unhooked kid applying from a vastly over represented geographic region, ED doesn't give you much of a boost at Brown.
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  • hellodarknesshellodarkness 8 replies3 threads New Member
    Hi! I would really like everyone to please disregard this thread. I wrote it during a really bad panic attack and it's honestly a minor issue that I was freaking out over. I have never planned on applying to Brown ED before or since that panic attack. Please disregard this.
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  • LindagafLindagaf 9903 replies538 threads Senior Member
    I think you should consider how you will cope should you and your boyfriend not go to the same college together. Or, how you will cope if you break up, which is not out of the realm of possibility. What is your relationship with your parents like? Is your therapist a person you can call if you feel you are having a crisis? Just having your boyfriend to rely on isn’t a great long term plan. Cultivate closer relationships with a trusted family member, or pastor, or high school counselor.

    Other students can benefit from this thread, so it will just run its course.
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  • hellodarknesshellodarkness 8 replies3 threads New Member
    @Lindagaf The thing is, I have a really good support system. It was just in the moment that I was feeling very alone.
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  • austinmshauriaustinmshauri 9345 replies352 threads Senior Member
    edited January 15
    My primary fear is regarding my mental health issues. I am a recovering anorexic, and I also deal with anxiety and major depression. While I am medicated and in recovery, I still have episodes, particularly in the winter. Historically, he is the only one able to manage all of those....He and I have talked extensively about managing this in college, especially regarding the lack of parental supervision of my food intake.

    It would just be a lot easier if we could see each other more, and we could monitor each other (he does have a mild-to-moderate depressive disorder that occasionally rears its head).

    I'm sorry you're facing challenges, but I think both you and your boyfriend need to take a step back. He's probably all of 16-years-old, maybe 17. He's not equipped to manage your mental health issues. If he tends toward depression he has his own mental health to focus on.

    Work with your parents to pick a place where you can thrive on your own. If they want to compare offers, you won't be able to apply ED. And by applying RD you'll be able to compare colleges for the best fit too.
    edited January 15
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  • hellodarknesshellodarkness 8 replies3 threads New Member
    @austinmshauri I cannot emphasize this enough: the picture I painted is not accurate to my life, only to how I felt during my panic attack. I have a large support system outside of my boyfriend. He is helpful but does not bear the brunt of my issues whatsoever. Relapses of my mental issues are few and far between. That panic attack was the worst in almost a year, and I only get them about once a month or once every two months.
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  • Boxcar101Boxcar101 28 replies0 threads Junior Member
    This one is easy. The answer is "no, you should not apply ED to Brown in your situation."

    If you only want to go to Brown if your BF gets in, and your BF might not make it in, then don't ED Brown.
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