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Student who comes from a Christian family needs structure. Any advice?

LuxLakeLuxLake Registered User Posts: 192 Junior Member
Friends of ours are members of the Disciples of Christ. They are moderate socially and politically. They adopted their daughter from Korea. She has always been a good student. She has been rebellious - even by secular standards. At a liberal, North Eastern college, she is finding it hard to cope with the many choices and responsibilities that come with a college with no social rules.

They are looking for a college with some place where there is chapel attendance, parietal rules, an emphasis on social justice, and volunteer work, and accountability.

They want a politically diverse college. They live in New Jersey. No west coast schools. No Liberty, ORU, Bob Jones. etc.

Any ideas?

Replies to: Student who comes from a Christian family needs structure. Any advice?

  • LuxLakeLuxLake Registered User Posts: 192 Junior Member
    Can anyone help? My daughter and this girl were adopted together. With the same group of kids from Korea. They need advice.
  • allyphoeallyphoe Registered User Posts: 1,408 Senior Member
    Jesuit schools would be up for consideration, or not?
  • TheCollegeGirlTheCollegeGirl Registered User Posts: 60 Junior Member
    Hmm...I completely understand where you are coming from. How far is she looking to go? Is Pensylvania okay? Look into Cairn University- it's a Christian university originally intended to teach the bible. It has church attendance and a Christ centered eduacation. Is this what you had in mind?
  • gandalf78gandalf78 Registered User Posts: 1,507 Senior Member
    Perhaps Hope College in Holland, MI?
  • mom2twogirlsmom2twogirls Registered User Posts: 1,726 Senior Member
    I'm curious, is this girl willing to go to the kind of college her parents are hoping for?
  • cakeisgreatcakeisgreat Registered User Posts: 559 Member
    edited March 2016
    How about Eastern U in PA? They seem pretty moderate with chapel optional. Messiah in PA has mandatory chapel.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 33,481 Senior Member
    What kind of issues is she having at college? Is she on academic probation?
  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 Registered User Posts: 37,212 Senior Member
    Seconding Eastern.
    Four different styles: Moravian, Providence, Earlham, Blufton?
    UScranton, Albertus Magnus, Wesley, Alderson-Broadus, Davis&Elkins are other possibilities.
    What about Ursinus, Heidelberg, Hood, Catawba, Defiance? They're moderate Christian colleges.
    Hope, Calvin, Grove City, Gordon, are conservative Christian colleges.
  • lostaccountlostaccount Registered User Posts: 4,584 Senior Member
    edited March 2016
    LOL. Are you looking for a school that mandates these things or where they are available? Every school has social rules. They are implicit in social interactions. These are young adults. I'd say the best bet for a student who is incapable of making decisions about whether or not to attend services is staying home and going to community college followed by a 4 year college in the home town. Then parents can monitor all the students activities. There is that issue of graduating and then what but until then home might fit the bill.
  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn Super Moderator Posts: 34,955 Super Moderator
    They are looking for a college with some place where there is chapel attendance, parietal rules, an emphasis on social justice, and volunteer work, and accountability.

    They want a politically diverse college. They live in New Jersey. No west coast schools. No Liberty, ORU, Bob Jones. etc.

    Those two sets of requirements seem mutually exclusive to me.

    I was like that girl at her age. She will be able to "get in trouble" wherever she goes, believe me!

    Also, phrases such as "THEY are looking," "They want..." make it sound like it's the parents driving this. They need to let their daughter grow up.
  • CaliCashCaliCash Registered User Posts: 2,826 Senior Member
    edited March 2016
    There is rebellion everywhere. Strict parents make the best liars. The only way for people to have strong walks with Christ is if they want to. You cannot force your adult child to be a Christian.
  • MomofMMomofM Registered User Posts: 113 Junior Member
    I wouldn't call Earlham, Moravian, or Ursinus Christian colleges anymore than I would call Harvard or Princeton, all originally with Christian origins. They certain don't mandate church attendance. Earlham is Quaker and not Christian in the same way that Liberty U is (although despite saying no, that seems to be what the parents really want).
  • MassmommMassmomm Registered User Posts: 3,381 Senior Member
    They may want to look at Gordon. It is very accepting of students who aren't Christian, but does have the structure the parents are looking for. But I agree with CaliCash. The rules aren't going to turn this girl into a model Christian. I don't know anyone who actually came to Christ by being forced to follow strict rules and go to chapel twice a week. It seems to me that their plan might backfire, but they know their kid, and if more structure will keep her safe, then that is a good reason for seeking it.
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