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Frustrated and disappointed with the outcome of my decisions

nmocha567nmocha567 103 replies8 threads Junior Member
Hi,

I wanted to make this post because I just got my last college decisions yesterday, and this process has not gone AT ALL how I'd expected or hoped. I just wanted to post this in case anyone has any advice or if anyone has gone/ is going through a similar situation.

Essentially, I was accepted to Fordham, UVA, William and Mary, and the University of Richmond. I was waitlisted at Kenyon, Middlebury, Williams, and Vassar (yet my grandfather was the chair of the music department here for 30 years). I was rejected from Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth, and Georgetown. Ever since I was waitlisted at Middlebury, I just had a sinking feeling that the rest of the process wasn't going to go well; I was right. Yes, my acceptances are all good schools, but I applied to those schools thinking I would get in and never imagined they would be my only choices.

In terms of my stats, I am in the top 4% of my class at a competitive VA public school with a 4.0 UW GPA and got a 35 superscored on the ACT (34 non-superscored). I will have taken 11 AP classes with four 5's and one 4. I am heavily involved in extracurriculars such as choir, scholastic bowl, forensics, literary magazine, caving, French Club, and many honor societies. I have attended the VA French Governor's School, HOBY VA, and VA Girls' State. I am a National Merit Commended Student and am super proud of my essays/ rec letters. Granted, I am a white female, lower middle-class. But I still thought I was qualified. I thought I would get into at least ONE other school. In fact, I wouldn't change a single thing about what I've achieved in high school; I am extremely proud of what I've done.

So I'm frustrated. Everyone says that everything will work out. Most of the posters in threads were accepted into at least one high match or reach school. Yet I was rejected/ waitlisted at almost every single one of my schools. I never imagined that my four acceptances would be my only choices. Where did I go wrong? I've just had disappointment after disappointment. I know that decisions these days are just the luck of the draw, but I still thought I would have gotten into another school. I kept hoping that even as my rejections/ waitlists piled up, there would be a silver lining. But it never came.

I intend on accepting my waitlist positions at Vassar, Middlebury, and Williams, but I know that getting off of the waitlist in extremely difficult. I just wish that this process could've turned out differently, especially since I am proud of everything achieved. Am I alone? Is anyone else going through this? This has been a very rough couple of weeks.
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Replies to: Frustrated and disappointed with the outcome of my decisions

  • ChembiodadChembiodad 2414 replies21 threads Senior Member
    edited March 2017
    @nmocha567, you're not alone.

    My twin DD's profile very similarly (superscore 35/single sitting 34 ACT, multiple 750-800 SAT Subject Tests, 3.8 UW/4.2 W GPA, lots of EC's), and while they have great choices with acceptances at Bates, Carleton, Colby, Colgate, Hamilton, Kenyon, and Oberlin and were waitlisted at Middlebury, Notre Dame and Wesleyan, they were denied at almost every reach school they applied to - 7 denials in all.

    While they knew what reach meant, to not get admitted to any of them hurt them a lot. That said, we are proud of what they've accomplished, and they'll feel that way soon as well.

    We know they'll do great things at whichever of these wonderful schools that they each pick, and am sure you will as well.
    edited March 2017
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  • PurpleTitanPurpleTitan 12668 replies29 threads Senior Member
    @jakeowl: I would put it simply as "not enough slots at Ivies/equivalents for terrific kids and the admission process is by no means fair".
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  • vonlostvonlost 18833 replies14708 threads Super Moderator
    There are lots of you, because there just aren't enough seats for those with top stats at their desired schools.
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  • PurpleTitanPurpleTitan 12668 replies29 threads Senior Member
    @jakeowl: Indeed.

    As I mentioned, the admissions process to elite American colleges is by no means fair.

    I just think it's too bad kids don't enter this process with their eyes open to that fact.
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  • tutumom2001tutumom2001 1216 replies3 threads Senior Member
    edited March 2017
    @nmocha567 I am so sorry for your disappointment. When you work so hard for something for so long and it doesn't go the way you thought it would, you need time to grieve. Please don't think you did anything wrong, because you didn't. We will never know why one person was accepted to a school and another was not, despite how much we try to analyze the situation. You seem like a smart, caring individual, and I am sure you will find your path in this world. Right now, if you were my child, I would give you a big hug and buy you a pint of ice cream. So here is your virtual ((((HUG)))) from a stranger far, far away!
    edited March 2017
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  • nmocha567nmocha567 103 replies8 threads Junior Member
    @PurpleTitan @jakeowl it has been a tough year, and everything seems to be increasingly more competitive. Thanks for your input!
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  • nmocha567nmocha567 103 replies8 threads Junior Member
    @Chembiodad I am sorry for your girls' rejections and wish them the best at college! They have some great options! Thank you.

    @novicemom23kids thank you for your wonderful reply. Best of luck to your daughter; I'm sorry about UVA!

    @mamag2855 I am definitely highly considering UR! I will be visiting on Monday for an admitted students' day. It's great and reassuring to hear that your daughters both had excellent experiences there.
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  • nmocha567nmocha567 103 replies8 threads Junior Member
    @tutumom2001 this was such a kind response! I am returning the virtual hug. And although I didn't have ice cream, I did bake brownies last night, which certainly helped :)

    @ClassicRockerDad Wow. Thank you so much for those kind words.
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  • happy1happy1 23039 replies2275 threads Senior Member
    edited March 2017
    Sorry things didn't go as planned. But in the end you can only attend one college and you have a number of very fine choices. As noted above there are simply too many strong applicants and the top colleges are forced to reject/waitlist a number of very qualified candidates.

    It is best to assume you will not get in off a waitlist (consider it a bonus it that happens). All you can do now is to move forward and pick a school from the excellent options you have. Each one of the schools on your accepted list can get your wherever you want to go in live and your college experience will be largely what you make of it. Many people would love to be in your shoes!
    edited March 2017
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  • nmocha567nmocha567 103 replies8 threads Junior Member
    @LuckyCharms913 Wow. Good for him! I guess that goes to show that the best fit isn't always the "top" school; I definitely need to keep that in mind.
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