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I want to move to University of Washington Seattle and my parents disagree because my crush is there

TDawg138TDawg138 0 replies1 threads New Member
Hello!
I am a student from California and recently I got interested in Computer Science instead of medicine. I originally wanted to do medicine but I changed to computer science after getting rejected from most colleges.

Some background about me:
During my high school years I did a lot of community service and I gave a TEDx talk and won several speech contests and conducted an orchestra and taught an orchestra class for 6 months and built my own music studio and much more. This sadly took a toll on my grades and i got an overall 3.79 GPA in Highschool and a 1270 on my SAT. Originally I wanted to be a doctor, so I applied to several schools in hopes that my speech for TED and my many hours of community service would get me somewhere. I got rejected from all the schools and I resorted to go to community college after changing my major to Computer Science. I felt depressed that after all this effort my work is not recognized. At around that time, I met my crush and we started talking together. She lives in Washington State. She convinced me to get into Computer Science as she saw the talent that I have.
My parents are strict egyptians and they dont like the idea of me moving out of the house, let alone out of state. Ever since I told them that I want to go to University of Washington, Seattle, and they have been against me from the start. I displayed so much evidence to them yet in the end they keep telling me that because my grades were so low and my study habits were subpar and because I leave everything to the last minute.

What should I do? Am I being too emotional or are they justified in what they say?
7 replies
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Replies to: I want to move to University of Washington Seattle and my parents disagree because my crush is there

  • helpingmom40helpingmom40 334 replies10 threads Member
    Is the OOS tuition within the same range as where you would be going otherwise? Is it something you can pay on your own? If not, there may be a financial reason they do not support your plan and your plan may not be possible without their support. Plus, with the whole pandemic thing, they may be uncomfortable with you moving so far away.

    You do tend to lack a bit of focus - music distracts you from your school work, you changed from medicine to computer science because of college rejections but not because your interests changed, now you want to move away not because of a tremendous opportunity but for a girl. Did you apply to UW already? What would you do when you finish at community college if you don’t get in or can’t afford it?
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  • LindagafLindagaf 11003 replies593 threads Super Moderator
    If they can’t pay, you can’t go.

    It is not reasonable to want to move to WA for a crush. You need to prove that you can focus on college level work and get the best grades possible to transfer. CS is very competitive. Tying to get I inot CS at UW as a transfer will not be an easy task.

    As far as your extracurriculars, it’s nice that you did them, but you have to understand that grades shouldn’t be sacrificed for other stuff, unless, of course, you don’t care that much about your grades. Unfortunately, that’s what colleges do care about.
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  • collegemom3717collegemom3717 8043 replies85 threads Senior Member
    There are some important pieces here, the first being: can your parents can afford the OOS cost of UWa? It looks like ~$58K/year. Have you researched the difference between the COA of a UC or CSU and UWa?UCB instate looks like $35K/year.
    Many families would balk at paying an extra $80,000+ for a college degree so that their student could be near a crush. If your family is wealthy enough that that is not an issue, then the next challenge is getting admitted to UWa-S for CS as a transfer student from a CA CC.

    That will not be easy. You will need to research the process, figure out the classes you need to take to qualify, take those classes and get *top* marks in them. Your parents have watched you follow several different interests, and seen you rejected from all of the colleges that you applied to. Now you want them to agree to pay extra for a 'maybe'. Whatever evidence you have shown your parents as to why this is a good plan, an acceptance letter in your hand will be better evidence that you have matured, that you can plan ahead and see things through.

    Fwiw, I am pretty sure that if you can get into UWa-S as a transfer student you can get into a good UC or CSU from a CA CC.








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  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 10466 replies124 threads Senior Member
    Great advice above. I'd also encourage you think honestly about if you would be pushing to move if there wasn't a significant other in the picture.
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  • PublisherPublisher 11617 replies155 threads Senior Member
    Your GPA & SAT score are too low for CS at the University of Washington.

    Have you looked at any other colleges or universities for CS ?
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 83929 replies745 threads Senior Member
    edited August 1
    Several issues:

    A. Washington is much more expensive than an in-state California public for you.
    B. Your high school stats would not have gotten you admitted to Washington for CS. If you got shut out of all colleges, you probably applied to an all-reach list with no safeties, so you are now going to the default safety of community college.
    C. Your desire to go there is motivated by following an SO, generally not a good criterion for choosing a college as a traditional student out of high school, and probably one which causes a parental reaction to increase control.
    D. Your parents may be overly controlling. How much of a limitation does this impose on your transfer targets, at least within cost limitations (e.g. California publics)?
    edited August 1
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  • DadTwoGirlsDadTwoGirls 6678 replies2 threads Senior Member
    The University of Washington is very good for computer science. However, most if not all of the Universities of California and at least several of the California State Universities are also very good for computer science. There is also a huge software industry in California which for example will help with internships. I do not think that it makes any sense to pay for the out of state costs at Washington when you can get an excellent education and save many tens of thousands of dollars in California. Also as others have mentioned your high school GPA is not likely to get you into Washington for CS.

    Also, following a "crush" to university is almost always a bad idea. People are complicated and most relationships do not last even nearly as long as the length of an undergraduate education.

    A 3.79 GPA should have got you accepted somewhere. It sounds like you did not take seriously the advice that is constantly repeated on this web site to make sure that you apply to at least two solid safeties that you would be happy to attend.

    There are quite a few software engineers who are also quite good at music. Both are skills that require quite a bit of abstract thinking.
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