Please edit my transfer essay to Brown! I am a freshman at Tulane University. My college GPA is 3.64. My midterm grades for the current semester sholud be a 3.85 or greater. and my high school GPA is a 3.96. Top 10% in HS. 1370 SAT. Crazy awesome EC, but primarily from high school. The rugby team desperately wants me there, but they are club so they don't have any recruiting power, only subtle influence. I was waitlisted last year.
The prompt for this essay was "Articulate your college experience so far adn your reasons for transferring to Brown"
Please edit for style, content, organization, cheeziness factor, gammar, etc, as well as how effectively it answers the question.
Also, is it too long? It's about 610 words. I just have so much to say!!!!
I started my college career at Tulane University in New Orleans. New Orleans is unique, with fantastic music and an eccentric, fun-loving culture. One of my classes was dedicated to exploring New Orleans culture. Among our many field trips was a trip to a dance hall for Zydeco Night.
Before we left, we had a lesson from a professor expert in Zydeco grooves. Care to Dance? he said with intense enthusiasm? Zydeco Style Get ready to spin and shake your hips to the accordion, washboard, and zesty Habanera rhythms you will be hearing tonight! The class had a great time at the dance hall, dancing with friends and teachers. I was so impressed by the bands vibrant explosion of sound that I purchased a CD
When I returned home for winter break, I tried to teach my family how to Zydeco. Unfortunately, they had difficulty and soon gave up. But they were delighted just to try, and experience some of New Orleans culture. Their delight made me realize how accustomed I had become to living in New Orleans. It was a surprise to return home to those who did not live and breath New Orleans. I understood then how special many of my experiences this semester had been. Amid going to class, learning, and making friends, I was able to experience world wholly different than my own.
Attending Tulane this year was a surprise for me after I was not accepted to my first choice colleges. But even though it was unexpected, perhaps even unwanted, I gained a unique knowledge and wealth of experience in my time here. There will always be disappointments in life. However, within them, there are always opportunities.
Despite positive aspects of my year at Tulane, my passion for being part of Brown Universitys academic community remains as strong as ever.
At Brown, I can actively pursue my three main interests: Neuroscience, rugby, and ceramics. Brown has one of the foremost programs with an incredible breadth of course and major options. Not only is it on the cutting edge of the field with advancements in paralysis therapy and the recent graduate partnership with the National Institute of Health, it harbors the flexibility to create ones own major curriculum. Unlike at Tulane, I would be able to create a program that incorporates all of my interests in neuroscience, such as biopsychology, cell biology, animal behavior, and cognitive science. Brown also has a dedicated faculty that enhances learning though both teaching and research opportunities for undergraduates.
Additionally, I would be able to pursue my passion for ceramics through cross-registration at Rhode Island School of Design, one of the best art schools in the country. I could also explore other areas of fine art through Browns own excellent program. Brown also has an incredible rugby team.
I am an avid rugby player and want to play rugby at a competitive collegiate level, which is not available at Tulane. Browns team is a perfect fit for me -- enthusiastic, fun loving, and dedicated to the game.
Furthermore, Brown liberal arts focus and innovative open curriculum would allow me to pursue those interests and more, such as womens studies, political science, and theater. Brown also has a unique, intelligent, motivated, and friendly student body.
I am looking for a school with a supportive community atmosphere. Brown has that, with its residential campus, non-disciplinary Resident Advisors, and involved guidance counselors with only a few students.
Brown University is a place I could call home, academically, socially, and personally. I feel I would be able to get a superb education at Brown, enhanced by its extra curricular options, academic and social life, and supportive community.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR *ANY* HELP YOU CAN OFFER!
Note: There have been advisory warnings about not posting essays on CC because people might copy them. I have trust that the cool folk at CC wouldn't do this. So please, yeah, don't.