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My Counselor Hates Me.. New Details.. Please Read and Help!

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Replies to: My Counselor Hates Me.. New Details.. Please Read and Help!

  • wanjiwanji Registered User Posts: 98 Junior Member
    yeah, its a sad fact that you can choose teachers, but not counselors for the recommendations...
  • srk2009srk2009 Registered User Posts: 98 Junior Member
    Neal - Glad to hear things are kind of looking up; I'd imagine you're a lot less stressed now than you were a week(ish) ago. :)

    As a side note, $5 says showing up to homeroom regularly will drastically improve your relationship.

    Best wishes!!!!
  • discoballdiscoball Registered User Posts: 102 Junior Member
    I would try to see her in a more positive light as hard as it might be. Last year, I had a horrible teacher who everyone hated. I would openly spar and argue with him in class. My mom told me that I should try to view him in a more positive light because when you don't like someone, it can really show through and make them not like you. This year, I just tried to ignore some of the things about him that I couldn't stand and tried to be as nice as I could to him, and now he raves about me as one of his top students. Maybe you could try the same with her? Perhaps she knows that you're only being nice to her because you want her to write you a better recommendation.
  • jds3jds3 Registered User Posts: 90 Junior Member
    If you can't make her change her mind then try to be honest with college you applying -- explain what you are before and now. explain it in the additional info field. It may help you turn the bad thing to be an advantage. You may also make it as your essay topic talk about your change( how and why)
  • NealJ2KNealJ2K Registered User Posts: 561 Member
    Showing up for h.r. won't help -- she just gets ****ed off at my presence.

    I try to be "genuinely nice" but it's hard. Personally, I'd much rather have a good relationship with her (even without the recommendation in mind) than a bad one. It's much easier to get along with people that to fight with them. I really like having teachers that I get along with and I'm sure they enjoy me because I'll go way out of my way to help them out if they need it.
  • hayzehayze Registered User Posts: 249 Junior Member
    A friend of my D had a similar problem. The mom called the Principal. The GC was not getting EA apps out and wouldn't check hispanic on the kids app (hello- last name is Martinez!) when the mom questioned her she said "don't tell me how to do my job." So mom went above her head, demanded to see everything before it went out and that was that.
    Perhaps since you Principal is a big fan he can put some pressure on her. Get a parent involved. Have a meeting: you, mom/dad, GC, Principal. The Principal is the head honcho in the building. She has to answer to him.
  • spazzityspazzity Registered User Posts: 333 Junior Member
    She isn't letting you see your rec letter? Unless you specifically signed a form waiving your right to see it, she is violating of a federal education statute! I don't remember which one specifically, but I'm sure a quick Google can get you what you need...and I would let both your GC and your principal know about this.

    I agree with some other posters though that you should talk to your principal about this, especially if your principal likes/knows you.
  • fireflyscoutfireflyscout Registered User Posts: 5,444 Senior Member
    You've got two presumably positive teacher recommendations plus another positive one from the principal. Those should trump the counselor's negative recommendation. Colleges understand that counselor recs are not necessarily going to be the most accurate, due to work load, etc.
  • UpsilambaUpsilamba Registered User Posts: 587 Member
    @spazzity--I think that only applies to whether or not you can see the letter when it's in the college's records, after the app process is over.
  • NesterNester Registered User Posts: 862 Member
    I'm thinking that if the princ. likes you and has even written you a great recommendation, perhaps your mom could contact him and see if he would be willing to write the GC rec instead of the GC. It's hard to imagine that colleges would object to the princ. writing it -- they might not even notice. Your mom might tactfully explain that she has some serious concerns about whether the GC is a good fit for you, or is truly in a position to do an accurate assessment as is the princ., or some such nonsense that won't force the princ. to acknowledge that the woman is a vindictive b****, but just suggests that since the princ. knows you so much better, and since your mom really doesn't feel that the GC rec should go out until she sees it, it might just be easier for all concerned if the princ. simply morphed his letter into the GC rec.
  • jacobe91jacobe91 Registered User Posts: 143 Junior Member
    try sucking up to her....haha. im not saying you need to/should bribe her, but like moviemania said, talk to her. think of a random subject, and go talk to her about it. and if you want to be a bit more assertive, talk to her about why she hates you. Be like: "i am getting the impression that you do not like me very much. i would like to change that perspective. what would make you change your mind about me?" something like that.

    if she ignores you and blatantly says "i hate you," talk to the principal. GCs should not be like that.
  • nooobnooob Registered User Posts: 2,065 Senior Member
    I think you should talk to your principal about this. Tell him/her that you know that her GC rec is going to be very poor, ask your principal if he agrees or disagrees, and tell him that you think you are being treated unfairly. Lastly, ask them to investigate the matter, read the GC app, and if the principal finds it completely false and detrimental to your application process he/she should do something about it. Otherwise, colleges will have to weight teacher recs a lot more than GC recs (which i'm sure some do, maybe not a LOT, but most will weigh it more)
  • artsymedartsymed Registered User Posts: 11 New Member
    I had a similar problem... my counselor didn't hate me though, just audaciously stated any type of degree in the arts field is virtually useless and not to waste my time dual majoring despite the fact that the majority of all the scholarships I get are art related (and would be dropped without an art major.) FL public school counselors also know nothing of schools outside FL and try their best to get you to stay in state and go to state schools.

    Fortunately, I knew the head guidance counselor (although I wasn't permitted to actually seek guidance in school from him haha) from surfing in competitions hahaha (silly I know) and he wrote me a great evaluation. Could you use a counselor you know personally or perhaps just better than yours? I guess it's different when you grow up in one place though... I moved around a lot so my middle school troubles are far behind me in NY ;p tehe good luck
  • ana ivanovic!!!ana ivanovic!!! - Posts: 475 Member
    i thought a Principle Rec can take the place of a GC red?
  • thirdfloorthirdfloor Registered User Posts: 198 Junior Member
    If your counselor's rec is an obvious outlier in your application, it's not going to be given as much weight as the teacher recommendations. The counselor rec is never taken as seriously as the teacher recs, since guidance counselor positions differ so drastically from school to school.

    I honestly wouldn't worry about it. If you have solid, enthusiastic teacher recs in your corner, then the GC rec is not something you need to be stressing over.
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