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Carrying a Relationship (Marriage) into Professional School

emharle0615emharle0615 0 replies1 threads New Member
My fiance and I are both preparing to apply to professional schools in the coming years (I am applying to law/graduate school and he is applying to medical school). We are looking at schools in the same areas to try and find out what kind of qualifications we need to hold to be considered eligible for admissions. However, we both have different ideas about what kind of place we see ourselves living in. I'm more keen on states such as Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, etc. The west, to speak generally. He, on the other hand, wants to live in a big city.
I'm not trying to say that he doesn't know what he's getting himself into, but what he doesn't understand is that big cities in the U.S. aren't like big cities in his home country of Norway. He's used to cities like Oslo and Bergen, which are absolutely miniscule in comparison to cities in the United States.
How can I help him understand that I don't want to move to a big city for good reason. A big city isn't the kind of environment either of us are familiar with, and I want to avoid being overwhelmed at all costs while studying to get my J.D. He is more excited about the idea of big city life and doesn't seem to see the practicality in focusing on a pleasant experience, as opposed to an exciting one.
Any advice, both for and against my argument, would be appreciated.
2 replies
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Replies to: Carrying a Relationship (Marriage) into Professional School

  • txstellatxstella 1124 replies7 threads Senior Member
    Consider UT Austin. The UT Austin medical school opens in 2016.
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  • PengsPhilsPengsPhils Forum Champion Northeastern, Forum Champion Math/Computer Science 4237 replies34 threads Forum Champion
    Living style is an important part of a relationship IMO. I see this not as an issue of colleges but where you guys want to live.

    First off, I love cities. I think that's an important bias to announce here, but may also be helpful to give some perspective.

    I am from a medium size town and really had never experienced cities for longer than a vacation but I always knew they were the places for me. There's a chance he does know what he's getting into. The first step IMO would be to try and visit some big cities (Try Seattle / San Fran if you want something out west, NYC is overrated).
    He is more excited about the idea of big city life and doesn't seem to see the practicality in focusing on a pleasant experience, as opposed to an exciting one.

    Why can't city living be a pleasant one and not an exciting one? Personally I love cities not for excitement but for resources and availability. I consider myself an introvert who loves to take a day in working but knowing that there's all this bustle around me, and I can go outside at any time of day or night and join in. It's not my primary lifestyle, but I like for it to be available. I think pleasant and exciting are independent, perhaps your fiancee shares the same opinion.

    No one is right or wrong in this argument: the important thing is to find what you both want and how you can find an option that makes both of you happy. Your preference is fine, and so is his. If you believe he is misinformed, then help inform him: not in a negative way but in an experiential one. As mentioned before, visiting a big city would be a great idea IMO. Who knows, maybe he does know what he wants and you may end up liking a particular city and you can end up living there.
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