im probably gonna graduate in december and im not looking forward to it at all. im in a field that i regret entirely (it doesnt fit me and i really obviously dont belong in the program) and i dread working with the major i chose, but its too late to change NOW so im grinding through it. because of that its kinda stressful and upsetting to begin with, just for what it all symbolizes.
on top of that, i really do not see the point of a commencement ceremony and never have. you dress up in an idiot robe and a humiliating square hat and then shake hands with someone you've never met in your life, get handed a fake degree (you get the real one in the mail), and listen to some condescending nobody talk for an hour about all the good you're gonna accomplish even though everyone knows thats bull. and then im supposed to smile like a barbie doll the whole time when im mentally exhausted and filled with dread.
my mom went ahead and told me i didnt have to go but everyone else seems to be making a huge deal about it. I don't want to hurt any feelings or miss out on graduation money but I dunno if I can take anything else. is it THAT bad? like what happens in a typical graduation ceremony? is it longer than an hour? will they make me wear a dress or is no one gonna check? can you leave halfway through to go to the bathroom or are you right there where everyones staring at you? is it usually mad crowded or do people leave quickly?
(do NOT give me that 'you're gonna REGRET IT if you don't walk' stuff. I'm a grown adult thanks. I promise I won't)