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Does anyone else at CC have chill Asian Parents?


Replies to: Does anyone else at CC have chill Asian Parents?

  • SevenDadSevenDad Registered User Posts: 3,920 Senior Member
    @vivman24: Those memes are funny!

    With regard to my own children, I think that I have been more concerned about academic success (as opposed to say, social success/"happiness") than many of my non-Asian counterparts but not really career success. My parents were doctor/lawyer and my brother is a doctor, but I'm in a more creative field. And I don't know if plotting out a kid's career from birth is all that wise....unless that kid somehow knows from birth that s/he wants to be an [insert profession here]. I don't even know if by high school that most kids really have an idea about what they want to do.

    Note that I didn't say academic success vs. sports success...because there are certain sports that seem to have an abundance of asian kids involved...in my non-scientific observation, these are more apt to be individual sports than team sports.
  • sstsunami55sstsunami55 Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    @vivman24 It's not like my parents didn't push me. They certainly did, but I think they did reasonably. Before high school they pushed me a lot because I lacked motivation, but in high school, I actually pushed myself more than they pushed me.
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    Nice, it is great that you are now self-motivated @sstsunami55 now. You sound a lot like my brother who needed to be pushed earlier but after a while found his own rhythm.
  • websensationwebsensation Registered User Posts: 1,063 Senior Member
    edited October 2017
    Our kid complained jokingly we never told him to study harder. We told him don't stay late to study and get a good night of sleep. We told him why push him harder when he tries hard on his own? We just told him great job whether he got As or Bs, and told him not to worry when he didn't get test scores he wanted. We did make him join a cross country though so he can get some exercise. After one semester, his respect for jocks went up big time because he had a very tough time staying awake to study after training or competing.

    Why did we do it this way? I didn't study that much and I am doing fine. My wife knows this so she thinks it's not good to add to stress of my kid.
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    @websensation You sound a lot like my parents lol. But my parents have turned around recently and are super supportive. Like previously, I would have to find the way to do things I wanted to, for example, I had to buy/trade Yu-Gi-Oh! cards on ebay for a while to make enough money to fund half the cost of a refurbished, 2011 macbook. Now though, if I ask them, then they are more than willing to help out rather than forcing me to go to alternate sources.
  • websensationwebsensation Registered User Posts: 1,063 Senior Member
    @vivman24 As parents, I consider it our job to just be supportive and give encouragement to whatever (legal) pursuits he wants to pursue. When you are young, it's good to expand your horizon, get a sense of possibilities rather than become specialized. Every kid has a different speed and timeline. I rather have a happier kid who makes less money than an unhappy kid who makes lots of money. I feel in the U.S., as long as you don't become addicted to drugs, gambling and sex, you should end up doing ok. I try to keep things simple.
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    @websensation Haha! I love the fact that you added (legal) pursuits. And I agree, that is what is great about the American Dream! But wouldn't you want your child to make the most of living in such a wonderful country?
  • HamurtleHamurtle Registered User Posts: 644 Member
    Lol at this thread as an Asian parent with a kid who's a WashU freshman. I told the son he should do what he's best at and/or what he likes. Right now he is thinking about a dual Biology/History major based on his best grades in school. Mom wants him to be pre-med or do something involving Computational Biology. I want him to see what fits him the best.
  • websensationwebsensation Registered User Posts: 1,063 Senior Member
    As you grow up, you will grapple with what is "make the most of living" idea? Each man and woman has to arrive at this answer. For me, I will leave it up to my kid, although I will share with him what my own story has been. If my kid wants to be a billionaire and he thinks he has a shot, go for it. If he wants to help others in a nonprofit organization and make $30,000 per year and he won't regret passing up other more lucrative opportunities, go for that also.
  • paul2752paul2752 Registered User Posts: 4,686 Senior Member
    My mom has become chill over the time. She was a rather lenient tiger mom when we lived in Korea, but now she's gotten "smoother".
  • GreninjaGreninja Registered User Posts: 437 Member
    I'm Filipino and my parents and could not care less about me getting straight A's. Granted, they're proud of me when I do get them, but for the most part what they're most concerned about is whether or not I'm happy at school.
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    @Hamurtle It sounds like a good cop bad cop story :) But yeah, your son should definitely choose what he wants to study because is it really studying if you enjoy it?
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    @websensation I think that everyone should have a life purpose you are working towards. I read a lot of philosophy and autobiographies and there are a few characteristics that most self-made successful people share: 1) They Have a Life Purpose (NOT ABOUT THE MONEY!), 2) Self Control+Hate Wasting time, 3) Growth

    A lot of people have the mindset that if you want to be mega-wealthy, then you have to be a greedy money sucker, but the opposite is usually true. Those who are billionaires and charity workers have a life purpose which doesn't revolve around financial gain.
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    @paul2752 Yeah, I think a lot of asian parents (and kids) tend to get americanized and become more relaxed. I know that my parents told me it was cutthroat in India where they grew up.
  • vivman24vivman24 Registered User Posts: 61 Junior Member
    @Greninja That is so sweet of your parents! I never had any bullies because I am a pretty big kid but I am sure my parents would sense my emotional well being fluctuating as well!
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