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senialityseniality Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
So I am currently failing criminal justice and am borderline failing stats. I have a 55 in criminal justice and with an 80 or higher on this last exam I can pass the class. Stats I feel should be okay as long as I continue to do what I’m doing. I’m a freshman in college 2nd semester and my parents pay for college. They expect As and Bs and these are clearly far from As and Bs. I am terrified of telling my parents about my grades and have two options the way I see it. I can either lie and not tell them about it and hope that they don’t find out or even question it (inspect element on grades) or I tell them the truth. My fear is that they’ll kick me out of the house and take me out of school which I really don’t want to happen. I’ll have no where to go and not enough money to support myself. My parents hold this expectation very high so i feel that it isn’t at all irrational of me to think this. Also just another FYI I forget a lot of things and I mess up quite a bit which angers them enough. My other grades are As and Bs if that matters. What should I do?

Replies to: Help?

  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 12,804 Forum Champion
    1) Change what you are doing in your classes. You have to get more help. here are ideas

    2) Once you have implemented them, see if your grades go up.

    3) If you know you forget things, then figure out a way to work with that. Make yourself to do lists. Put stuff on your phone calendars with reminders.

    4) After you get your grades, tell them what happened. Figured out what the problem was, what you are doing to change it. If you have to retake classes, figure out how you can do that...maybe over the summer? Figure out how you can pay for that.

    5) really understand what the problem is.
    Don't do the reading/homework?
    Do it but don't really understand?
    Too much partying?
    Health issues?
    relationship issues?
    Mental health issues?
    Not prepared for the class?
    Not enough time studying?
    Not attending class?
  • GloriaVaughnGloriaVaughn Registered User Posts: 522 Member
    Time to check out the college tutoring and math center before it is to late.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 74,439 Senior Member
    Don’t for one more second consider lying to your parents. The fact is...if you do really poorly, they WILL find out about your grades.

    You are lucky...in the Thumper household, the next semester bills weren’t paid until the grades were seen.

    Go get some tutoring. Turn this around.

  • compmomcompmom Registered User Posts: 10,262 Senior Member
    Is it possible you have an undiagnosed issue like ADHD (related to the forgetting things)?

    We don't know your grade point average or if you have a scholarship dependent on it.

    It is concerning that you think your parents will kick you out. Are you saying you fear they will kick you out on the street? If so, you have a bigger problem and can probably benefit from talking with a safe adult, like a counselor.
  • senialityseniality Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    Okay so first off thank you to everyone who responded with tips here’s an update.

    I’ve realized lying isn’t the answer here and it just simply wouldn’t work they’d find out eventually and I feel I’d have more of a chance to stay in school and the house if I just come clean when my grades are final. My anxiety and fear of telling them has only gotten worse though I know it will be bad, I have a solution for next semester, the issue was that I didn’t put forth the effort and I know that’s the case. I could’ve done much much better I took the class lightly and didn’t think it would be very difficult and I realized it a bit to late. I do think I’ll be able to pass the classes but my grades won’t be much higher than a 60% which is far from As and Bs.

    I’ve asked a lot of people for help so far and they all tell me that the threat of being kicked out is only a way of scaring your kid however they’ve already threatened it before. The thing is I come from my moms side where I didn’t have anything going for me and I came to my dads in high school. They’re basically giving me a shot at life and a chance I’d never have so when they see grades like this they feel I’m being unappreciative or disrespectful when that’s not at all the case. I’ve been extremely tired this semester for whatever reason I’m not sure if it’s a medical reason or not it seems that any time I mention a possible issue it’s waved off as paranoia or me making excuses so no doctor visits for me.

    So I know I’m just gonna have to tell them now and hope for the best I’m terrified of what’s to come. I have identified the problem I have a solution for next semester and I can guarantee my parents that i will never take a class lightly again and give my full effort no matter the class. I just hope they let me explain myself and don’t give up on me.
  • rphcfbrphcfb Registered User Posts: 200 Junior Member
    "I have identified the problem I have a solution for next semester and I can guarantee my parents that i will never take a class lightly again and give my full effort no matter the class. I just hope they let me explain myself and don’t give up on me."

    Naturally, they will be upset that your grades have slipped. Parents often have high hopes for their kids, sometimes, too high. You said you have identified the problem and have a solution. That's very good. It is something that should appease your parents. Be remorseful, humble and respectful. Don't argue with them. Let them vent. I believe they would come around.

    Let us know how it goes after you speak with you parents.
  • aunt beaaunt bea Registered User Posts: 9,613 Senior Member
    I agree with @compton, I think you may have something that is undiagnosed. You know that you do have access to your onsite health clinic. That's what your fees cover.
    Start there, then have them refer you for additional testing in the areas of attention and organization with your school's counseling center.
  • senialityseniality Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    So I just met with my advisor to register for the fall semester and found out that gen eds require a c- or higher to count and I’m not going to get that in criminal justice. I have a 69 in stats so I need to do well on this last exam for the class to count. I was planning on telling my parents after classes were over because I figured I could pass criminal justice once I get my grade up above a 60 and at least tell them that I passed all my classes but that’s obviously not the case anymore so I think I’m gonna tell them tonight. I’m super scared for the conversation I know I messed up and I’m gonna retake criminal justice next semester which I’m going to propose that I pay for it and pay them back which I hope is enough. I’m just really worried now even more that I’m gonna be taken out of school and possibly kicked out for my failures because it costs so much money and it’s all for nothing now :(.
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 20,624 Senior Member
    Have you talked to the professors? A 55 may not be an F or a D if the teacher grades on a curve. The final might count for 1/2 the grade.
  • GloriaVaughnGloriaVaughn Registered User Posts: 522 Member
    Have you gone for tutoring? It's still not to late.
  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 Registered User Posts: 40,169 Senior Member
    And do 1)go to the health clinic and say you've been getting more and more tired for over six months now 2) go see a counselor, explain you've been forgetful 3) explain you worry about being kicked out of the house.
  • senialityseniality Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    It is to late exams are next week and then the semester is over and d is 60 c is 70 so that’s that :(. As for the health clinic I’ll give it a go but I’ve gotta tell my parents I about 40 mins from when I post this so if I get out of that alive and still in school I will do so.
  • senialityseniality Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    So just told them everything I don’t believe I’m going to be kicked out or taken out of school yet anyway. I’m not able to do anything except sleep eat and study for my next exam in stats to make sure I pass which I’m fairly confident I will. He’s furious which is expected and fair and says I should’ve come to him earlier. My issue is if I go to him early it’s the same conversation all he does is make matters worse and make me stress even more. He also said that holding this back and not telling them until now is the same as lying which made me angry because I don’t lie I can’t lie. I only waited so long because I thought I could pass and I felt that telling him early would’ve made it that much harder on me. He has said numerous times that if I mess up that’s it but at the same time contradicts himself and says that he’s always available to talk.

    Anyways I appreciate all the help I think I will be okay I just need to pass stats and retake criminal justice next semester. Here’s to another year of being looked at as a failure by my parents and relatives, cheers!
  • GloriaVaughnGloriaVaughn Registered User Posts: 522 Member
    Sounds like you survived. Believe it or not, things could be worse. Dd has a friend who works full time, goes to school part time (3 classes a semester) and works a part time job during the summer along with the full time and school. When asked by one of his/her parents (lots of parents, mostly steps, but even the ex steps stay involved) what their grades were, the response was 2A's and 1 B. Well parent jumped all over the B. That left him/her feeling stressed and angry. Perhaps if all the parents were to chip in on his/her education they wouldn't have to work a full time job to pay for school, rent to live in their parents home and a vehicle (and all it's expenses), all the grades would have been an A.
  • NJWrestlingmomNJWrestlingmom Registered User Posts: 854 Member
    @seniality I'm glad it went better than you expected. I'm sure your parents don't think of you as a failure. You remind me of my own son. We've had battles over grades, only because we feel he doesn't work his hardest. Sometimes he takes this to mean if he doesn't get straight A's we think he's a failure. That's not the case! Parents just want the best for our kids! And college is a lot of money - I just expect him to work his hardest. Not everyone can get straight A's. I agree you should go to the health center on campus and talk to someone. Next semester, start early with tutoring or professor's office hours and don't let it pile up. Good luck!
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