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Complicated Situation

4t34t3 Registered User Posts: 2 New Member

So I am a new college student, a freshman, in my third week of college and I was loving it. I chose suit style living and the four of us (my roommate and the two across the bathroom) go along very well. Second week in my roommate gets alcohol and puts it in the fridge. I told him I don’t consume alcohol, however I don’t mind if he has it.

My roommate made a ton of friends fast and he always invites him over to our dorm. I don’t mind this. Occasionally they have drinks but never consumed nor even touched the bottle of alcohol.

So a few days ago I had to go off campus for a day due to family matters. According to my roommate an hour after I left the police came into our dorm and went straight for the alachol. Someone rated on my roommate and the worst part they all think it’s me, since I never consumed alachol and left right before the police searched out room.

Now, the three of them hate me even though I keep saying it wasn’t me. I don’t even know what to do. The worst part is I keep thinking about it nonstop and it’s hard for me to focus on what happen with my family when I can barely live in our dorm. I think I should talk to my Ra but I also think that will make matters worse. I don’t know what to do.

Replies to: Complicated Situation

  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 Registered User Posts: 5,509 Senior Member
    I don't understand. You're roommate brought in the alcohol and isn't owning up to it? Obviously that roommate knows it wasn't you!

    I would go to your RA.

    And, renegotiate the roommate agreement so that everyone is clear that there will be no alcohol in the room.
  • 4t34t3 Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
    edited September 2018
    No he knows he had it and he got in trouble for it, he thinks I’m the one who ratted on him. We also never did roommate agreements since we go along so well. Also they agreed we can’t have alcohol in the room again. They all hate me cause they think I’m the snitch.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,119 Senior Member
    Sit and talk with him, and say what you said here. Ask why you would have a motive to do that, because you have not interest in having a terrible living situation. Ask him how you would benefit by saying anything, because he had been respecting your wishes.
  • readthetealeavesreadthetealeaves Registered User Posts: 736 Member
    Definitely go to the RA but know that the RA might have gotten wind of the alcohol and reported it as it is their job. Regardless the RA can help you talk it through with your roommates. You should try to talk to them all individually and point out to them that you all were all getting along, you had to leave for family emergency and they know why and that you did not care if they drank or not but you just have always abstained. You can tell them you are the type of person that would have told them if the alcohol bothered you enough to turn them in. Trust is important and the timing made them think it was you and you were not there to defend yourself. I suspect that it was one of the many visitors' friends that heard about the alcohol or the RA. IMHO either way you must try to mend the situation with each one and then as a group in order to move forward
  • yourmommayourmomma Registered User Posts: 1,287 Senior Member
    the stuff was there for a week and you didn't "rat" so why would you rat now? You have nothing to gain. Who else had access to see the alcohol?
  • EmpireappleEmpireapple Registered User Posts: 1,409 Senior Member
    Obviously the R.A. can't tell them who reported the alcohol but maybe you can get the R.A. to at least tell the roommates that it wasn't you. Sit down and talk to the R.A. Tell him what you've said here. Try to get the R.A. to help repair things with the roommates since things were going so well prior to the incident.
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