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How do you reinvent yourself?

TA3021TA3021 Registered User Posts: 789 Member
edited October 2009 in College Confidential Cafe
How do you start over? Get as close to square one as possible and change for the better?
Post edited by TA3021 on

Replies to: How do you reinvent yourself?

  • CC AdminCC Admin Administrator Posts: 32,337 Senior Member
    Relocating...surround yourself with new people in a new environment.
  • baller4lyfeballer4lyfe Registered User Posts: 1,214 Senior Member
    act differently with yourself. make a conscience effort to NOT repeat what you don't like. its hard. but start with short term goals because immediate long term ones fail quick.
  • fizix2fizix2 Registered User Posts: 3,570 Senior Member
    first of all, decide exactly what you want to change
  • GiggitusMaximusGiggitusMaximus - Posts: 1,633 Senior Member
    I'm thinking about changing my last name.
  • mcb52mcb52 Registered User Posts: 1,485 Senior Member
    you murder someone and steal their identity. or you go into the witness protection program
  • xStevenxSteven Registered User Posts: 1,400 Senior Member
    Be yourself. That's it. If you've been around people your whole life and tried fitting in, you won't be able to relax around them. So, like everyone said, surround yourself with new people while being true to yourself.
  • TA3021TA3021 Registered User Posts: 789 Member
    first of all, decide exactly what you want to change

    I want to be less bland and have a more exciting life with deep and enduring friendships. I feel like I live the life of an overprotected 12-year-old. It's partly my fault for being so reclusive and giving into social failures in the past, but I want to reverse that now.

    I want to be more charismatic, know all the right moves socially. I'm horrible at nonverbal cues, so I'm pretty awkward. I wish I could get rid of my anxiety. I want to be fashionable and appealing without looking like an airhead and above all be fun.

    I want to learn how to drive. Get a job. Party on weekends. Live life and get out of this limited bubble. I have a feeling that 2009 is going to be an life altering year, something amazing will happen, I can feel it.

    I never expected to have a featured thread. Thank you!
  • katytibbskatytibbs Registered User Posts: 516 Member
    Change on the inside is reflected outward.

    Counseling or other introspective kind of interior work will help you identify barriers to becoming the full person you want to be. If you have been affected by alcoholism or drug addiction, then Al-anon or Al-ateen can provide a supportive atmosphere to try out new behaviors.

    Bibliotherapy (reading books on change and doing the exercises) can also help.
  • TA3021TA3021 Registered User Posts: 789 Member
    ^ I was always thinking of doing bibliotherapy, but I was never quite motivated until now. Someone recommended "The Portable Therapist" to me and I'm thinking of using the book's advice.
  • kansasdemocratkansasdemocrat Registered User Posts: 436 Member
    Ever watch "The Talented Mr. Ripley"?

    Try that approach.
  • screwitlahscrewitlah Registered User Posts: 1,980 Senior Member
    One book: Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss. It will change your life exactly the way you want to.
  • HanitaHanita Registered User Posts: 413 Member
    I believe that significant life experiences can help you change who you are.
    Is there some place you've always wanted to go? Something crazy you've never had the guts to do? Do sky diving, travel to a different continent, swim with dolphins, that's what I'm talking about :D Just something that will help you find some confidence in yourself.
  • Maxwell1864Maxwell1864 Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    Sometimes, reinventing yourself is blocked by fears. Three steps for handling fear that I read somewhere and seem to work wonders:

    1. Admit you are afraid
    2. Let the fear really sink in so your whole body feels it
    3. Act as if you were unafraid
  • TA3021TA3021 Registered User Posts: 789 Member
    ^ Nice, simple advice. I hope I can remember this whenever I face an issue.

    The problem is that I'm shackled by my environment. I don't come from a poor neighborhood, but it's not exactly a stimulating one to be proud of either. I think in order to truly reinvent oneself, one needs money to do so. I am trying to find a job and if I don't get the census bureau job, I'll be so sad that I'll have to look for something less suitable for me. I need to overcome my anxiety about driving or I'll feel trapped.
    In the meantime, I'm taking advantage of my school resources to the fullest extent possible. It gives me hope and as I'm saying before, I hope this sudden burst of motivation doesn't fade away.
  • WCFWCF Registered User Posts: 530 Member
    Change on the inside is reflected outward.

    I really think this is very good advice. It's not enough just to try and act differently - that can come off as fake and obnoxious. If you want to change, you've got to change your mental state as well.

    This is the only example I can think of right now (sorry, might be a poor one). A guy is shy and can't approach girls. It's not enough for him to simply start acting cocky or approaching girls. This comes off as obnoxious or creepy. He has to actually change his mental state to one of confidence. Eventually, it should come naturally to him.

    I think TA3021 needs some of this confidence. It seems like fear and anxiety hold you back, but if you could become a more confident person, this stuff seems to magically disappear. Of course, that's more easily said than done. Focus on the things you are good at. Realize that things really aren't as bad as we always make them out to be. Stop being afraid of everything, etc etc. Perhaps a little inspiration would do the trick?
This discussion has been closed.