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Do I still love him?

uptown077uptown077 0 replies1 threads New Member
Hey guys, I'm new to this, but my friend recommended me that there are many wise and objective people here who could help me. I am a rising senior and I had a boyfriend who broke up with me three weeks ago.

So my ex and I were really close friends since 9th grade and that led to us having a good relationship. We were dating since last March.

Although I loved him a lot, I never thought he was 'the one'. I knew I was going to break up with him, and I actually kept in mind that I would do so when I go to college. The reason why was because he and I were very different from the start.

I am a top-ranked student with the highest GPA, had leadership positions in various sport teams and clubs, had a clear goal of what I wanted to be in the future and which university I would choose to go. My boyfriend, he was never liked by the teachers. He was a very nice person, but he wasn't enthusiastic in anything and still does not know which college he would apply to. The only thing he loves is football, but his parents do not support him being an athlete.

This was also the reason why my boyfriend declared an end to our relationship few weeks ago. I was very busy last month, taking AP exams, SAT, and was also the president of student council organizing prom. This made him tired of waiting and being lonely all the time. He does not take any AP exams so he had nothing to do while all his other friends and I were busy preparing for college. He told me I was too busy and we had nothing in common. He wants to meet someone like him, girls in our school who are free. (I honestly think they are so messed up and him going out with them is the last thing I want to see.)

Here's the strange part: I knew he was not the one and have been telling myself that I would break up with him when I go to college, but I feel terribly sad and heartbroken. I heard he went to the beach with some other girls today and that made me so upset I had to cry all day.

Do I still love him?
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Replies to: Do I still love him?

  • shawnspencershawnspencer 3121 replies12 threads Senior Member
    I think that is only an answer you can answer for yourself, but it sounds like to me you don't necessarily miss being in a relationship with him specifically but the security of being in a relationship. Breakups are tough and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. As humans we are always inclined to wonder the what ifs and the how could it be differents. It is even more difficult when someone else breaks up with us because sometimes you feel a bit blindsided or inadequate. After the breakup, it is important to also fill your time with things that you find meaningful and you love. Only then can you objectively answer that question for yourself because you are not sitting all day wondering about it. It may be that you still do given the fact that different people can still get along just fine. Or you may find that you don't. Then treat it as an opportunity. Use the time to find someone that you may feel is the one or you do see something more long term. Or not and just enjoy life. It's up to you. But do know that your feelings are valid and it is normal to feel this way even if you felt some of it coming
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  • GMTplus7GMTplus7 14268 replies297 threads Senior Member
    Here's the strange part: I knew he was not the one and have been telling myself that I would break up with him when I go to college, but I feel terribly sad and heartbroken.
    It's normal to feel sad after ending a long relationship, period.

    If he's not "the one" then you are doing both of you a favor by not wasting each other's time.
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