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Help/Critique - Common App 1000 char. extracurricular short answer

mriyainescomriyainesco Registered User Posts: 23 New Member
edited November 2012 in College Essays
Whenever I look at what other people are submitting for this section, especially when it's about an instrument or sport, I see a lot of flowery imagery and that's not what I want to go for because that doesn't truly convey my interest or personality. Any feedback helps, thanks so much!

It was clear to me at 8 years old that neither my hands nor mind were designed for a pianist. After attending lessons with this negative outlook for a year, I finally suggested to my instructor that I quit wasting time and effort on my lost cause. Upon hearing this, she had me listen to master pianist Jon Nakamatsu's inspiring "I am a Loser" speech. It amazed me that such a brilliant and successful musician's list of merits in competitions paled in comparison to his ample losses. His hands and mind weren’t made for a pianist to begin with, either, but he persevered, and as a result had achieved his dream. I realized that the piano wasn't just any instrument; it was a tool that would embed patience, determination, and confidence into me. I had a goal to work towards, and a newfound diligence. My goal was not to win awards, but rather to inspire the children who attended my recitals to work toward their own goals, and to this day I still keep this ideal close to me whenever I play.

Replies to: Help/Critique - Common App 1000 char. extracurricular short answer

  • dum dum popdum dum pop Registered User Posts: 20 New Member
    It might just be me, but the phrase "hands designed for a pianist" just strikes me as wrong. I would change it to "neither my hands nor mind were designed to play piano" or something.
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