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Local Scholarship Essay

JonWasNotHereJonWasNotHere Registered User Posts: 84 Junior Member
The topic is "If you could have one do-over, what would it be and why? Please do not include your name or school, and limit it to two pages, double spaced."

Here is what I have so far:

This past fall, I was granted the opportunity to be in one of the most memorable experiences of my life: participate in the school play. It was three grueling months of hard work, but in the end it all paid off; I was born into an actor. Truth be told, I never acted before in my life. The director’s theater department was struggling, as there were only two males in it. The arts had always been an interest of mine, and since I wasn't musically inclined or wasn’t granted any spatial talents, acting was my only choice. I saw this as a perfect opportunity to take my chance. She saw some type of potential in me though, and knew that I could help to carry her fall production. I was given a lead role, but sadly, it was my first, and last play in high school. If given one more chance, theater would have been the first club I joined freshman year. I normally don’t regret many things, but this is one that I truly repent. Theater has been my favorite experience so far in high school, it has created a newfound family from different social groups, and most importantly, it is something I want to continue with later in life; all of the aforementioned reasons prove why that would be my one do-over.
As time consuming as it was, rehearsing and performing in the school play has been my favorite moment of senior year by far. From the second week of school in September until the second week of December, I practiced multiple days a week blocking my lines, executing precise stage direction, and conveying the perfect emotion to show to the audience. While most would think that all of those commitments seem impossible, they proved to be extremely fun. Sure, it does take a lot out of someone mentally and physically, especially when they aren’t used to it. I had to work twice as hard because all of the techniques in acting were new to me, so for three months the play was my biggest commitment, besides school work of course. If I joined as soon as I got into high school, I would be a professional with three years of experience under my belt. Most importantly though: more memories would be made.
Our school’s theater department is widely known for being so diverse: athletes, band members, and your every day students all join. While growing to a new capacity in the winter of 2012, it had always been comprised of many different types of kids. The fall play this year consisted of six band members, the captain of the football team, and two wrestlers, along with a multitude of other people. If that isn’t diverse, then I don’t know what is. With theater, we all became one cohesive family. Everyone was close, and we all helped each other out when needed, not only in theater, but in school too. Theater does that to people, and if I joined sooner, I would have gotten to experience that magic from the beginning. To be honest, my transition into high school could have been a lot more easier if I made friends in other grades immediately. I wouldn’t be an awkward, insecure freshman; I would be confident knowing that I made friends in a grades besides by own.

I feel like it is good (so far, not completed), but my main concern is that I don't want to have a passive voice. I'm not sure exactly how to correct it, but I know that it isn't the preferred way to write even though many believe it is. So please, honest opinions. I still have two more paragraphs to write.
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