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Are my Stanford essays any good?

osamasayeghosamasayegh Registered User Posts: 112 Junior Member
edited July 2013 in College Essays
Shorts answers (300 characters)

NAME YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS, AUTHORS, FILMS, AND/OR MUSICAL ARTISTS.
My favourite novels are Wuthering Heights, The Lost Symbol and Wicked. I have a flair for musical movies like Les Mis
Post edited by osamasayegh on

Replies to: Are my Stanford essays any good?

  • anishbasuanishbasu Registered User Posts: 73 Junior Member
    Really Great. 9/10 Would read again.
  • 123lar123lar Registered User Posts: 40 Junior Member
    They're great!
  • BalisongAddictBalisongAddict Registered User Posts: 29 New Member
    I really like number 3. It's awesome.
  • cmcdade12cmcdade12 Registered User Posts: 36 Junior Member
    id love to see the intellectual essay when you are finished. other than that they look great
  • Weavegirl123Weavegirl123 Registered User Posts: 80 Junior Member
    One quick thing:

    You're not supposed to identify yourself on CC, S. Ashraf!

    About your essays:

    Your 'Friends' reference is really forced. It doesn't really connect with your essay.
    Is there particular episode of Friends that you enjoyed?
    If so, how did that rescue you from whatever?

    A really good essay that you should read is "What Good is a Story?" by Barbara Kingsolver (I'm a HUGE fan of hers :) )
  • PsychoDad10PsychoDad10 Registered User Posts: 1,190 Senior Member
    Another tip- don't post your essays for everyone to read and for someone to steal. These essays are personal and reflect your work. You would hate for someone to copy your thoughts and submit the same thoughts.
  • urbanintroverturbanintrovert Registered User Posts: 16 New Member
    Honestly? I'm going to give you some tough love and I'm not taking into account the fact that you are an ESL student (though I'm sure that admissions counselors will). As a disclaimer, I didn't apply to Stanford, so I don't really know what you're supposed to do. Personally, I think you should try and make the "Name your favorite books etc." section a bit more vivid, instead of just listing them.

    As for the "Significant Challenge" response, make it less wordy. You don't need diverse, modern, and improved face of society all in one sentence.

    Read your response to "How did you spend your last two summers" out loud. Is this something you would actually say? Is it natural to say "commenced with my relocation" or would something like "I moved to Egypt" get your point across more easily? Don't feel like you have to use fancy words to make yourself seem more impressive.

    Essay #2:
    I really love the line, "I have the cooking skills of a toddler." The second half of this essay was stronger than the first half. The first half didn't really say much about you that differentiates you from other seniors.

    Essay #3

    I love the opening. This essay flows a lot better and reads more smoothly than any of the other responses.
  • sweetcupcake12sweetcupcake12 Registered User Posts: 216 Junior Member
    Your third essay is by far your best one. On the other two, make sure you keep the focus on yourself, and nothing else.
  • FlyEagle17FlyEagle17 Registered User Posts: 322 Member
    I don't understand why you would post your essays on this website. That pretty much allows others to steal some of the ideas that you have in your essays.
  • reyalpmarkreyalpmark Registered User Posts: 112 Junior Member
    A little too wordy with plenty of grammatical errors - parallel structure errors most notably - that are excusable but slightly detracting.

    I liked the third one the best. You should really delete the part about the "distinguished members of Stanford," though. Talk more about how jumping off that waterfall was an expression of your freedom rather than a whimsical action you took just because you could.
  • mockingjay0714mockingjay0714 Registered User Posts: 154 Junior Member
    I don't think you should identify your religion as something thrust upon you. Sort of gave me a negative undertone. But other than that, everything was really good.
  • chengtaohuachengtaohua Registered User Posts: 22 New Member
    Do not post your essays directly online (like what you did). They're at risk of being stolen.
  • FlyEagle17FlyEagle17 Registered User Posts: 322 Member
    ^ Exactly, I don't know what the OP is thinking. As I said, you pretty much just allow others to steal some of the ideas that you have in your essay. The essays are supposed to be personal and about you, but when you posted your essay on this website, your essay becomes less personal because what makes it difficult for others to pretty much copy the ideas in your essay and claim it as their own.
  • vinceyoung10vinceyoung10 Registered User Posts: 51 Junior Member
    Your answer to WHAT IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHALLENGE THAT SOCIETY FACES TODAY? reads a bit cliche

    I like essay number 3 but you need to make the essay more coherent

    The start of #2, i.e. Friends reference, as Weavegirl123 pointed out, is a bit forced
This discussion has been closed.