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Is this experience appropiate for my essay?

Briang11Briang11 0 replies1 threads New Member
edited December 2014 in College Essays
Hi everyone,
First of all, I'm brian , I'm from El Salvador, and I'm new on this site.

Now to the point, I want to know if the following experience is apt for the CA essay prompt #5(Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.) : ``As a child I didn't like football(soccer) so much, actually football bored the hell out of me. However, this change when, at the age of 10, my father forced me to go to watch a soccer game. The match was El Salvador vs Costa Rica. The zealous way fans supported the national team, the emotion of shouting `goal´, the euphoria of the game and the pride of seeing my national team winning , all these factors provoked that I actually liked football. Although the final outcome of the game was a defeat for El Salvador, I felt an excitement for football that I had never felt it before. From there, I became a in love for soccer so much that now I don't miss a single match of the teams I support . Not only that, but I started praticing the sport and I just love it. Currently, I'm in my high school team, as a keeper; although I don't intend to become a profesional footballer(frustated dream). Football has become an integral aspect of me and I think my life wouldn't be the same without it.´´

This is just the experience of the essay

Or could I use soccer for the CA essay prompt #1 (Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.) ?

Thank you in advance.
edited December 2014
5 replies
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Replies to: Is this experience appropiate for my essay?

  • jpheysjpheys 193 replies0 threads Junior Member
    Neither. Nothing will stand out about this essay except maybe that you are from El Salvador, and that alone is not enough.
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  • PlebeianDreamerPlebeianDreamer 55 replies15 threads Junior Member
    If you had to choose one, prompt #1 would fit your story better. But as jpheys said, try to focus on something unique to your story. You have to understand that colleges will probably read a lot of how x or y sport changed my life essays.
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  • jyana32jyana32 39 replies0 threads Junior Member
    I believe the experience can fit into either essay prompt, but you have to elaborate on how this event changed you from childhood to adulthood/how it is central to your identity. As you said, this is just the experience part, but if you are able to put together a clever paragraph to show how exactly this experience changed you or made you find your identity - that is what the admissions office is looking for. Doesn't matter what experience it is, just HOW and WHY was it so important to you.
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  • bomerrbomerr 1952 replies4 threads Senior Member
    i agree with @‌jpheys

    The only unique aspect will be the part where you are from El Salvador.

    Leave Soccer as an EC and think of a better essay topic.
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  • saurabh1Rsaurabh1R 3 replies2 threads New Member
    i think you should elaborate to it more attractive.
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