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Can someone please read my common app essay?

thebootlesthebootles Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
Hi, I wrote a common app essay and I'm wondering if there is anyone who would please take the time in reading and criticizing it? I feel like my essay isn't good enough for the schools I'm applying to, which are rather selective colleges such as Duke, Haverford, Swarthmore, and Bryn Mawr. Thanks! I'll inbox the essay if anyone is willing to help.
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