For one of my UC essays, I am required to write about the most significant obstacle I have faced and the steps I took to overcome that challenge. I want to talk about this past semester. It goes in depth about an event that occurred, regarding my circumstances at home.
I was physically assaulted and had to move out at the beginning of this fall semester. Taking 18 units and working 20 hours per week in order to escape a life-threatening situation and not having a stable home environment (living with friends, sleeping in my car) and still making it a point to volunteer, participate in the PTK honors society, and not risk my grades. At one point I mention the event (not in graphic detail) and how it was not an option for me to miss my class that morning following the incident. I showed up to class because I am determined to succeed.
I tried very hard to not make it a "poor me" essay because I've never even felt that way while any of this was happening. I would just like to know of any feedback and whether I should tone it down.