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Word limit is making me cut into important details.

EPICBOYXPEPICBOYXP Registered User Posts: 24 Junior Member
I struggled a lot with my transfer essay because of the word limit. I'm trying to start with a personal narrative to explain my high school situation but I just can't seem to get my point across in the word limit. An editor told me that I need to include more details and be more specific but I can't seem to fit it all in. Any tips?
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Replies to: Word limit is making me cut into important details.

  • damon30damon30 Registered User Posts: 299 Junior Member
    This reminds me of the famous line by Blaise Pascal: "I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter."
  • jym626jym626 Registered User Posts: 56,281 Senior Member
    edited January 20
    Find a new editor. Unfortunately you have to stay in the word limit— like everyone else. How far over the word limit are you?
  • EPICBOYXPEPICBOYXP Registered User Posts: 24 Junior Member
    If i had about 80 more words i think i could fit it all in
  • mamaedefamiliamamaedefamilia Registered User Posts: 3,149 Senior Member
    edited January 20
    @EPICBOYXP Print it out and edit with a pen or pencil. It can be more efficient to edit the old fashioned way than on screen. You could also try reading it out loud to figure out what could be cut.

    Also if you are applying to transfer, you probably want to emphasize how you've succeeded at the college level more than try to explain what happened in HS.
  • austinmshauriaustinmshauri Registered User Posts: 7,842 Senior Member
    Your list of transfer choices seems pretty selective. I don't know how difficult it is for international students to transfer, but I think transferring to an Ivy as a 1st semester freshman will be a challenge. What is it about your high school situation that you're trying to explain? Maybe you don't need all the details.
  • PublisherPublisher Registered User Posts: 5,881 Senior Member
    If you PM your essay to me, I will make some suggestions.
  • skieuropeskieurope Super Moderator Posts: 40,139 Super Moderator
    An editor told me that I need to include more details and be more specific
    Then you need a new editor.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 8,561 Senior Member
    You’re transferring from one college to another, right? Personally, they are probabalynot terribly interested in your high school situation. You’re in college now. Choose a different topic. And your editor is wrong.
  • jym626jym626 Registered User Posts: 56,281 Senior Member
    edited January 21
    @skieurope- see post # 2 (first sentence).
  • jym626jym626 Registered User Posts: 56,281 Senior Member
    @EPICBOYXP - So you need to eliminate 80 or so words. Make every word count. Start by getting rid of fluff words— adjective and adverbs that add nothing to your story. An I agree with those who say focus on what you have done since HS, not in HS, unless something was so incredible it will wow the reader. Even then, mention it as it relates to how you made a difference since that time.
  • lookingforwardlookingforward Registered User Posts: 30,836 Senior Member
    edited January 21
    Your essay needs to be relevant. You aren't writing a bio. I doubt this "editor" knows what the colleges want to see.

    And, if you think you're Ivy transfer quality, you shouldn't need a forum stranger to tell you what's needed or help you rewrite.
  • DadTwoGirlsDadTwoGirls Registered User Posts: 4,773 Senior Member
    You should think of this from the point of view of the admissions officer. They are seeing a huge number of applications, and they need to quickly understand what is relevant in each. Re-read your essays asking yourself the question: Do they really need all of this detail? For every sentence, for every phrase, for every adjective, do they really need to know this?
  • BKSquaredBKSquared Registered User Posts: 1,073 Senior Member
    edited January 21
    Agree that writing about/making excuses about high school is unlikely going to result in a successful essay. I will be kinder on your current editor in agreeing that in a word limit situation that you should be more specific in the topics you cover (in facts, whys and hows, not in fluff words), but you need to be more limited in the topics you cover. Don't write about 6 things when 3 are clearly more important.
  • PublisherPublisher Registered User Posts: 5,881 Senior Member
    In one of OP's earlier threads, the editing service is mentioned. Any professional editing service should be able to help refine one's essay. OP: Are you still using the same editor/editing service ?
  • lookingforwardlookingforward Registered User Posts: 30,836 Senior Member
    Lol, so much for editing services, eh?
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