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Please Help - Greatly would appreciate

BellaDaffand435BellaDaffand435 6 replies3 threads New Member
Hi, I'm Bella. I had a question about the common app essay.
I've seen a lot of complex ones online, and I was wondering if thats the right way to go. The one I wrote is very simple, it's just a narrative about something I did that indirectly shows some of my qualities. Does this make it inferior to the complex abstract ones online? Will admissions officers think that I am incapable of thinking at a high level or will they appreciate the beauty in simplicity?
Please answer honestly. Im really stressed.
Thanks,
Bella.
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Replies to: Please Help - Greatly would appreciate

  • BellaDaffand435BellaDaffand435 6 replies3 threads New Member
    someoneeee
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  • inthegardeninthegarden 1774 replies31 threads Senior Member
    edited October 2019
    Hi @BellaDaffand435,

    I think the beauty of simplicity sounds lovely. And if that's your natural style, it's far superior to anything that would be contrived. Not saying that the complex ones aren't perfect for those who write them naturally, but your essay should reflect who YOU are. I can't say i'm really experienced at this (my daughter is still a junior) but i'm repeating what I've read on this forum for a long time by posters who DO know a lot about it.

    The essay should show, not tell who you are. Create specific, vivid and concrete images/examples/anecdotes of what you're illustrating about yourself with your words, as opposed to vague, bland, general ones. Show some qualities of yourself that the rest of your application doesn't reveal; qualities that will enhance the kind of community that a college wants. Show yourself to be likeable. I've read a suggestion here on CC that your essay should be so specific to you, that, should it be dropped on the floor of your high school without your name, anyone in your school would know it could only be written by you.

    I think you may not be getting many responses here because you wrote so little on this thread about your essay that people may not have enough to go on to know whether it's a good essay or not. Maybe if you describe alittle more (of course, you don't want to post your essay here or give so much away that someone would copy your idea.)
    edited October 2019
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  • mathmommathmom 33180 replies161 threads Senior Member
    From the little you have posted it sounds fine. I know a Caltech kid who wrote about riding roller coasters and thinking about physics while being thrilled. My kid wrote about how he got sucked into learning to fold origami partly as a way to keep from falling asleep in AP Bio and as a cheap way to make gifts for friends. An essay should make you seem likable and perhaps intellectually curious, but you don't need a lot of fancy words and convoluted sentences to show that.
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  • BellaDaffand435BellaDaffand435 6 replies3 threads New Member
    Thank you for such great feedback everyone!!! I'm not sure if mine shows me to be intellectually curious....mine is about a project I chose to do on my own time outside of the regular curriculum. It's not an academic project though. @mathmom

    It kind of shows be to be a hard worker though and that I follow through with an initiative I take on.
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  • mathmommathmom 33180 replies161 threads Senior Member
    I think learning something on your own, even if it's not strictly speaking is "intellectual" is a good trait. And that's not the only good trait you could show.
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  • AboutTheSameAboutTheSame 3181 replies48 threads Senior Member
    That sounds like an excellent topic and an excellent essay. If you want a reader, feel free to PM it to me. My user name is also a gmail address if you prefer. And I'm trustworthy.
    AboutTheSame Reed 74 UC Berkeley Law 77 [parent of a Dartmouth 13]
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