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essay critique, please

photoflophotoflo Registered User Posts: 7 New Member
edited April 2009 in College Essays
Long time lurker, first time poster. Thought I'd humbly request some essay critique from the CC community before things get crazy in the fall.

A few words on the essay - It wasn't written with college admissions in mind. Really, it was just a bit of "creative writing". But, I thought I might see if it fits the criteria, and then I could have the "personal" essay out of the way. My only reservation is that it might not have the whole "life lesson" thing...though it has a little of that I guess. In short, I need some outside perspective.

Anyone care to take a look?
Post edited by photoflo on

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