Describe the enviroment you come from for example, your family, your community, or school and how this enviroment has affected or influenced your plans for the future.
Pushed To My Limits.
Try harder! I was sick of hearing those two words. How much harder could I work? How much harder could I push myself? Those two words were carved into my brain, engraved there to stay forever. I never felt like I was good enough. Constantly getting told by my parents that I could work harder, I was always being pushed to my limits. The only thing I could do was try to live up to their desires and try to make them happy with me.
All throughout my childhood, I would continuously hear stories of my fathers successes describing how my he was the only one out of all his siblings to graduate from college and have a well paying job. At a young age, I began to think that if I didnt try hard enough I would be a failure. Every report card that I got I would rush home into our living room with its bright blue walls, excited to see my parents faces. With that that one B staring them in the face, I would just get a blank stare. Disappointed in myself, because I felt I wasnt smart enough, I left.
Many times when I think about my childhood, I become upset and angry towards my parents; why couldnt they comment on my well comings rather then always looks at the negatives of everything? I was continually told that the only way to succeed in life was to get an education and to become a doctor. I would be viewed very highly if I achieved these two things, but I didnt believe any of that was fair. Yes, I could try to achieve both those goals and make them content with me, but was that all that mattered? I think it is just as important to think about how I feel about things and about my happiness rather than just how I will be viewed.
I entered high school determined to get the highest grades possible, striving to make sure that I didnt fall behind. Every time I took a test, I could hear my parents telling me in the back of my mind to try my hardest. My heart would beat uncontrollably when I would receive my report card, filled with excitement to see my grades. Yet, I felt they werent good enough.
It was about the end of my sophomore year that I soon realized that I no longer had to work hard in school to make my parents happy. I had to work in school to make myself happy. To achieve my goals in life, and not theirs. Those two words were imprinted in my mind and will stay there forever. However, they now represent something very different. When I think of those two words, I no longer see my parents. I see my future, what I will become