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Please help me make friends in college!

socialfailuresocialfailure Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
edited November 2010 in College Life
So once upon a time, I had quite a few friends. Then I went on medical leave for a year. Now most of my friends have relegated me to "vague acquaintance" and everyone else knows me as that kid who tried to kill herself. I am a sophomore now and have tried to make new friends but I live off-campus and most of the people who are now in my year have their own groups of friends already and have heard stories about me trying to kill myself. Also, most of them also live off-campus, but not with me. How should I go about having a social life?

(I have also tried to make friends with freshmen, but most of them seem to want to make friends with other freshmen instead.)
Post edited by socialfailure on

Replies to: Please help me make friends in college!

  • amber2010amber2010 Registered User Posts: 166 Junior Member
    Interesting. I would have asked why didn't you keep in contact with your old friends while on medical leave? Any real friend would have kept up with you.

    Only thing I suggest is joining club and have study groups from one of your classes. I made friends with a couple of people doing that.
  • socialfailuresocialfailure Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
    Thanks. I'm trying to do that! But I think most studying happens in the dorms, and every time I'm there I can't find people in my classes and I study better by myself anyway =/ I think by the time I find people to do homework with I'll already have finished my homework.

    I knew my friends for all of three months before I had to leave, which explains why we didn't really keep in touch. Besides, they all thought I was leaving forever because it was my second time going on leave.
  • NorthstarmomNorthstarmom Registered User Posts: 24,853 Senior Member
    You weren't on campus long enough to make real friends. You had acquaintances who hadn't evolved yet into friends.

    Joining clubs and participating in activities that interest you is typically the best way to make friends.Discussion/seminar classes also give you the opportunity to make friends.
  • TheCollegeCupidTheCollegeCupid Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
    I go into much more detail about this in my blog, where I boil down the concept of making more friends to as close to science as it gets.

    People make more friends at the rate and speed that they are introduced to new people.

    There are two ways to meet new people.

    1. Introduce yourself to new people
    This is what 99% of people tell you to do when you ask them how to make more friends. This works, except that you only have so much time and energy.

    2. Get introduced to more people by your friends.
    This is where the true power of becoming massively popular lies. Of course, this depends on whether you have friends who know a lot of people.

    Making friends with the "right" people can literally land you with like a couple hundred friends over night. I call those people "social connectors". Social connectors are people who are very well connected with other people. They aren't typically hard to make friends with - that's why they have so many friends. Example: If you're looking to meet more girls, a good social connector to make friends with might be the flamboyant gay guy who's bbf's with a million hot girls.

    Making friends with social connectors seems obvious, yet no one does it. Notice how many of your own friends are social connectors...

    Once you've done this, you will become very well known. If you make friends with 5 ordinary people, you have 5 new friends, and they will introduce you to their 5 friends. That's 25 people.

    If you make friends with 5 social connectors, they will introduce you to their 50 friends. That's 250 people. Seriously that's no joke.

    Once you've done this, you can organize some group activites some of the other posters suggest. Presto, you have all the friends you can handle.

    I go into severe detail on the science behind how to make more friends in college and climb to the top of your social circle on my blog.

    Find more info here:
  • RoxSoxRoxSox Registered User Posts: 2,179 Senior Member
    The first problem is that your name is "socialfailure." This indicates a pretty bad attitude and I really wouldn't want to be friends with someone who thinks of themself as such.
  • birthofthecoolbirthofthecool Registered User Posts: 217 Junior Member
    Lulz somebody the screen name socialfailure probably doesn't deserve friends, become cool like me
  • LaypersonLayperson Registered User Posts: 35 Junior Member
    TheCollegeCupid: so you're saying we should all just become opportunists, then? Cool.
This discussion has been closed.