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Homesick and not getting any better. Should I transfer to a Community College?

ilovebutterilovebutter 2 replies2 threadsRegistered User New Member
edited December 2012 in College Life
I've been homesick ever since the I got here and it has only gotten worse. I've gone out and tried to make friends but I find more and more that I really don't like the university I'm at. It's been really hard for me to adjust to the school because their lifestyles are much different than mine (it might be a cultural thing). I come from LA and my university is about 4 hours from home in a small town that doesn't have a whole lot to do.

I have been seriously considering transferring to the CC nearby my house and taking enough classes to get enough credits to transfer into the university near my house so I can commute from home.

I've already told my parents about my homesickness and they've almost completely rejected the idea saying that I'm giving up too easily and not trying hard enough. They tell me to forget about friends (and basically all happiness) and to just concentrate on school.

They even gave me an ultimatum that if I HAVE to finish the year off and next year if I decide to transfer to the CC I'd have to pay for it myself (which wouldn't be too bad as it's super cheap anyways). And I've checked, all of my classes transfer from the CC to the university (and if I get a majority of my credits done at the CC, I get priority admission too, giving me a better chance at being accepted too)

People tell me to do what makes me happy and I really think transferring back home would make me happy. It'd be hard going day by day with my parents glaring at me with shame but it'd be much better financially and emotionally and they would get over it eventually. I've been miserable here at this university. It may be the homesickness blinding me but I really don't like the people or the town. I cry every night, and more now as the quarter is coming to an end (and finals are coming up). I've thrown my head into the books but it's just hard.

I know that if I do decide to transfer I won't regret leaving. I still want to transfer to the university back home either way to save money so I can blow it all on grad school. I suppose it's just a matter of should I transfer to a CC now or wait 2 years and then go back home?

I've just been so confused and stressed out, I've talked to a counselor here and they basically told me to try to make friends first before I decide to leave. And I've made friends, good ones too. But I find that it's not enough to get over the love I have for my family and my hometown. (What can I say, LA's the best!) It's just not the same.

So then what's your advice? Stay and fight the storm or leave and bear the shame, hoping that either way it'll all turn out all right in the end?

And is there anybody out there who reverse transferred? How was your experience like?

Any advice, some pointers, and words of wisdom would be helpful.
edited December 2012
5 replies
Post edited by ilovebutter on
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Replies to: Homesick and not getting any better. Should I transfer to a Community College?

  • ilovebutterilovebutter 2 replies2 threadsRegistered User New Member
    Sorry for the wordiness, but admit, you're seen longer posts that this before. Again, any advice personal experience or not would be great.
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  • TcherryPieTcherryPie 221 replies42 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    If thats what you really want then you should just do it.

    But you can't act simply on emotion and nostalgia. You obviously chose your current school for a reason, and since you said its in a small town w/ nothing to do, I am assuming it's probably for academic reasons (strong program for your major?). So therefore make sure that transferring to a CC/LA school won't set you back academically.

    I am a senior, though I had a similar dilemma my freshman year. I went to a school about 3 hours away for its strong accounting/finance program(s). Didn't like it at all and wanted to transfer to the state school in my hometown all of Freshman year. However, the local school specializes in science/med, with the business school virtually unknown. It just didn't make sense for me, and I'm glad I stayed as I am almost half a year away from my dream job with tons of internships along the way.
    Plus, it makes coming home for breaks that much better!
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  • mikemacmikemac 10336 replies150 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    It sounds like the ties that bind you back home have been difficult to break. Reading your post, everything about it says move back. I don't see what shame there is; you made what you thought was the best decision at the time, turned out perhaps it wasn't. It won't be the last, for you or anyone else.

    When you say you talked with a counselor, was it an academic counselor or one for more personal matters? If not the latter, perhaps you should try that if your school offers it; many colleges have counselor available thru the health service for students. In the end only you can decide if you're being too inflexible on the cultural matters & the area and should keep trying, or if you've realized it just isn't right for you. Your language makes it sound like the latter.
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  • bungalowdwellerbungalowdweller 155 replies3 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    It can take a full year before you feel comfortable. And you're not alone; lots of kids feel the way you do. It's a huge step to move away from home. Just give it a little more time and see how you feel by the end of the term. Just know that your feelings are legitimate but not necessarily subject to change.
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  • mmmgirlmmmgirl 880 replies53 threadsRegistered User Member
    You should stay. IMO, homesickness is a valid feeling and I feel for you, but it's not the type of thing that should influence a big decision like this. You are an adult now, and you can't be so afraid of change that you stick with what's familiar forever. Are you planning to never leave LA? What if you get the job of your dreams in a different city? I know it's hard, but if you stick it out it will make you a stronger person.

    Try to make yourself happy at the school you're at. Focus hard on your studies, making friends and extracurriculars. Get a job and an internship. Accept change and don't let your current emotions dictate your decision.
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